Please don't judge me. I need help.

[Me347]

My girlfriend dumped me before Christmas and I'm not handling it well at all. I have MH issues and I feel suicidal. I have an appointment for tomorrow as I reached out to someone and they are taking me.

But I feel so alone. I gave up so much for this woman. Everything in fact and she promised me a lot. Didn't deliver. Promised me she would never leave me (only weeks before she did she told me never in a million years would she not speak to me)

She went NC. I keep messaging her. Please don't judge me. Or shout at me. I don't have anyone left in my life and I miss her so much. She changed everything but I keep trying through social media.

I know what I'm doing is wrong.

I'm not being rude to her or aggressive. Just sad and telling her I miss her and will she please speak to me.

I feel so stupid. I know I need to stop. I'm scared I will get in trouble. My life is so hard. I'm so sad. I want to end my life but I can't.

I've never been a strong woman. I've never been independent.

I just put everything I had I to this relationship. Everything. And now I have nothing.

I feel like I've lost my mind :(

Please be kind

[sophiestew]

Can you call Samaritans on 116 113?

Or do you have any RL friends you could call?

If not just stay here and keep talking.

You say you gave everything up for her - what did that entail? Have you moved away from family and friends? I think all you can do is think about how this will be a learning experience for you. You will make different choices next time and be a little more wary, keep yourself safe from this kind of emotional harm.

Nobody here will shout at you.

[CantstandmLMs]

Oh poor you my partner has just left me and it feels like the end of the world literally. I can totally see where you are coming from.

I am glad you have an appointment for tomorrow and hopefully it'll help.

I was always an independent woman before and still gave my absolute all to this relationship but my insecurities came out which didn't help. Please don't look down on yourself because of this.

Sending my thoughts because I feel so awful as well and totally understand why you are doing what you are

[SandyY2K]

You need to see your GP and /or get family support.
In reality, none of us can really know if we'll be with someone forever, so she should never have promised you that.

Life is more than one relationship and you need to remember that you have people who love you and would not want to be without you.

Break ups and heartache are part of life, as painful as it is.

[Me347]

I gave up my husband. The only person I'd ever been with. Now I have to parent alone and I can't do it. I'm failing everything.

I need help. I'm hoping the doctor will listen tomorrow. I'm always waiting. Waiting on a list for help. It never comes. Just more pills.

I love her so much still. All the things shes done and I still want her :( she doesn't care about me at all.
But I can't let go. I want to. So badly. I want to stop hurting. But I dream about her every night.

I can't stop hurting. Mentally. So I harm myself physically to distract.

I was a good girlfriend. I know I sound crazy now. But I'm not. I'm just sad and lonely and feel lost.

[MyheartbelongstoG]

You are not crazy op.

Many here will have done as you have and texted, called the person as you have.

Its only now with hindsight that we see it was not the right thing to do.

We have all felt the pain you are feeling.

I wish I was in the UK, I would honestly come to you no matter the distance.

Can you go to A & E? They will help you.

Please, please don't harm yourself. Come here if you feel the urge and people will help you.

There are so many good people on Mumsnet any time day or night xxxxx

[Joysmum]

Also look into whether you can self refer yourself to italk in your area. You can find out and don't this online in my area, but not all.

[Waltermittythesequel]

If you're hurting yourself and feeling suicidal, leave your dc with their father and go to A & E.

They will help you.

Re: your ex; it doesn't seem like it, but it really is better that she not respond. For both of you.

You have to be able to move on and any contact will just drag things out. She's entitled to end things and cut contact. And you are entitled to be upset. But please don't put yourself at risk.

It really, truly will get better.

[Me347]

I know. It just hurts so much.

I've lost all the good memories. I've lost her. I've lost out future. I'm never going to hug her again or kiss her. It's crippling

My ex is here. He has the kids weekends but I asked him to come here so I wasn't alone but he wants to go now. He's annoyed at me for being so pathetic

[Me347]

Hes good to me. So good. He's helped so much but there's only so much people can do

[TheNaze73]

It'll get better, time will help. Don't be too harsh on your ex though, he's trying to help

[Me347]

I know. It's just everytime I feel like I've made a few steps of progress I fall spectacularly back to square one.

She's not spoken to me for months and its just getting harder. Not easier

[MadMags]

Why did she end things?