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Dp moody cos I can't have sex for 6 weeks

(339 Posts)
Rizzo03 Sun 12-Feb-17 12:30:30

I've just had treatment for cervical cancer so I can't have sex for 6 weeks, he knew this right from the start, we are now in week 2 and he's moody, tense and there's an atmosphere. There's also a lot of other things going on, my dad has just died and his ex is causing trouble his dd wants to live with her mum, all adding to the pressure. I just feel really down with it all and I needed somewhere to moan

AllTheWittyNamesAreGone Sun 12-Feb-17 12:31:22

Honestly I'd tell him to out of my life till he was ready to stop being a cunt

sofato5miles Sun 12-Feb-17 12:31:24

He is being a dickhead.

INeedNewShoes Sun 12-Feb-17 12:32:29

Sorry that you're having a tough time flowers

Are you sure that's why he's tense?

He has an awful lot to contend with at the moment, just as you do, so its not surprising if he's not on good form.

Unless he's making moves or complaining about lack of sex I really would not jump to the conclusion that this is what the problem is.

Larainette Sun 12-Feb-17 12:33:05

Hope everything's ok with the treatment.
That doesn't sound great - is he moody because of the sex or the situation with his DD?
He doesn't sound very supportive - surely you recovering from cancer treatment tops his need for sex?

Chocolatekeepsmesane Sun 12-Feb-17 12:33:39

He should be supporting you not being an arse. Tell him to grow up or fuck off.

I'm sorry for everything your going through I hope you have some rl support.

Ouriana Sun 12-Feb-17 12:34:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notanotherpawpatrol Sun 12-Feb-17 12:35:13

Sorry, your dad has just died and you're having treatment for cervical cancer and HE'S in a mood because you can't have sex for another 4 weeks. He's a dick of the highest order. The fact his DD wants to live with her mum and his ex is causing trouble does not negate this fact. He's a dick.

TurnipCake Sun 12-Feb-17 12:36:05

So you've been bereaved and just had treatment for cervical ca and this is how the arsehole treats you in a time when you need support?

As Dan Savage says, this is a case for DTMFA

wowbutter Sun 12-Feb-17 12:37:12

He's an idiot.

Eh and I haven't had sex since August as I have been very unwell, we still cuddle and are intimate and very much in love.

Finola1step Sun 12-Feb-17 12:38:18

Woah, woah, woah! Hold it right there.

You've just had treatment for cervical cancer. Your DF has recently died. And your so called partner has got a cob on?

He may well be feeling frustrated and tense. Yes, he's having other troubles. But as an adult who supposedly loves and cares for you, he should be keeping a lid on it. So that you can focus on your recovery.

I hope everything goes well with the treatment and I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad. What you do from here on in with your OH is entirely up to you. But if he can't treat you right when the going gets tough, then there are serious questions to be asked.

INeedNewShoes Sun 12-Feb-17 12:38:19

Going on the thread title only I would agree with other posters, but reading the OP I think its rather jumping the gun to be labelling him an 'arsehole' before it has actually been established that he is complaining about lack of sex.

People are so quick to jump on the MN 'he's an arsehole' bandwagon.

Teepish Sun 12-Feb-17 12:38:26

He isn't a mature adult.

scootinFun Sun 12-Feb-17 12:39:04

Sounds like there is a lot going on in your lives - are you sure it's the sex that's making him uptight? He may just being overwhelmed and retreating in grumpiness.

ImperialBlether Sun 12-Feb-17 12:39:14

Well, he sounds horrible to me. Is he always so selfish and unfeeling? Does he actually have any empathy whatsoever?

HappyJanuary Sun 12-Feb-17 12:39:24

Are you sure he isn't moody because his dd wants to live elsewhere and life's just generally a bit shit at the moment with exes, health scares and bereavement? If it's really the sex then yes he's abhorrent and you should reconsider your future with him, he doesn't sound the type to grow old with.

Finola1step Sun 12-Feb-17 12:39:36

Oh and loving your Username. I always preferred Rizzo to Sandy assuming that's the connection

Fluffy40 Sun 12-Feb-17 12:40:13

Tell him what his right hand is for.....

Catdogcat Sun 12-Feb-17 12:46:51

Tell him to get fucked. He should be supporting you not get moody because he can't get his end away.

We didn't have sex for my entire pregnancy as I was too unwell and never once did my DH complain or get tense, he just sloped off and sorted himself out.

OhhBetty Sun 12-Feb-17 12:48:32

I'm sorry but this would be enough to make me leave someone. He sounds like one of the lowest of the low. Putting his wants (and I say wants as sex is not a need) before both your physical and mental wellbeing. He's telling you that he thinks he is more important than you. That should not be in any way acceptable.

HeyRoly Sun 12-Feb-17 12:50:25

He can GTF.

So he doesn't care about your physical and emotional wellbeing one bit? All he cares about is sticking his penis in you?

I say that because clearly he would say a wank isn't good enough hmm

tenterden Sun 12-Feb-17 12:56:38

This sounds awful, I am so sad for you.

Is he normally this selfish and callous about you?

Ammelou Sun 12-Feb-17 12:56:51

He is being an arse. I've had treatment previously as well, 2 weeks after we got married. In fact they delayed my treatment so we could enjoy our honeymoon! My dh was a star throughout. My health was way more important to him than getting his leg over!

JoeyJoeJoeJuniorShabadu Sun 12-Feb-17 12:57:11

total wanker.
fucking hell - he is disgraceful.

Verbena37 Sun 12-Feb-17 12:59:00

Sorry to hear you're going through such a lot. flowers.
In your op, you don't say that your DH has said anything specifically about no sex though.

If he has mentioned it specifically, then he is being very unreasonable and totally insensitive. If he hasn't, try taking to him and getting him to open up about everything.

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