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I wont take my bra off

(42 Posts)
SammieSalmon Sat 11-Feb-17 22:07:27

Im in a new relationship. Ds is 13 months old and my boobs havent been great since. Theyre saggyhmm
Anyway i dont like them so i wont take my bra off during sex. New man is starting to ask why hes never seen my boobs. How do i get over this?

Ouisophie Sat 11-Feb-17 22:09:18

I don't know but I feel exactly the same. Have you told him how you feel?

MrsGsnow18 Sat 11-Feb-17 22:13:26

I totally understand! I always prefer to keep bra on as it makes my boobs look way better! ( stops them flapping around blush) I think DH prefers the push up bra effect too.
You could discuss this with him, I've never actually said to DH but I think he just knows I prefer bra on.

SammieSalmon Sat 11-Feb-17 22:16:02

I think he'll think its weird i go the gym so im toned its just my boobs

hugoagogo Sat 11-Feb-17 22:17:22

I would tell him the truth, you need time to trust him.

Blazedandconfused Sat 11-Feb-17 22:18:22

Mine are flat as pancakes Ayer breastfeeding 2. Ds2 now 12 months and I'm still losing weight and changing shape. Boobs now fit into pre baby bras and I've noticed that when I've been warning one which probably fits the best, boobs are ever so slightly perky. Would a decent fitting and a few new bras help with your confidence and maybe the actual shape of them?

SammieSalmon Sat 11-Feb-17 22:20:19

Probably blaze but at some point hes going to want to see my boobs

Eevee77 Sat 11-Feb-17 22:29:08

I never took my bra off for the whole first year of a relationship blush I told him I really disliked them and I wasn't comfortable. He got over it.
Not advice though but you're not alone.

SammieSalmon Sat 11-Feb-17 22:34:22

Thanks Evee hes lovely but would be shocked i feel this way

RaisinsAndApple Sat 11-Feb-17 22:34:25

If he is a decent man then he will listen to you telling him how you feel, and then let you take it at your pace. He will live with it and not pressure you at all.
If he does pressure you to take your bra off when he knows you are not comfortable with it he is not a decent man and it's better to find that out early on.

Mermaidinthesea Sat 11-Feb-17 22:35:44

Mine were a mess post birth, spaniel ears that hung down to my waist. I got them done, there was no other option. Took me 10 years to save up the money though.
But yes just tell him. If he's a decent bloke he won't make a big deal of it.

SammieSalmon Sat 11-Feb-17 22:38:20

Ive only had one child as well lol

SammieSalmon Sun 12-Feb-17 12:53:30

Ok so I have some child free time and I'm seeing him tonight. Should I just tell him I hate my boobs and get it over with?

Chamonix1 Sun 12-Feb-17 13:03:57

Just tell him. I don't think he'll mind OP- boobs are boobs to men and I'm sure they're not as bad as my big old saggy spaniel ears.
Next time he asks just say you don't like your boobs I'm sure he will disagree entirely.

frenchfancy Sun 12-Feb-17 13:04:25

Yes. Definitely. I'm pretty sure he isn't with you just for your boobs and he isn't going to leave you because of them.

I know it's hard but you should be proud of them. They are that shape because your body did the most miraculous thing ever. We all have this image of the perfect boobs thanks to the media but the truth is none of us have a perfect body. I bet there are bits of him that aren't perfect but that doesn't stop you liking him.

cauliwobbles Sun 12-Feb-17 13:10:14

I hate my boobs after 3 kids and 2 years of breastfeeding they're not my best asset.

I mooted a boob job as an idea to DH.

He said I could have one if I wanted but to be honest he's just thrilled to have a pair of boobs he can play with, big, small, saggy, pert, they're all lovely and you don't really care if you can have free access to them.

I think if you asked your new man he'd say exactly the same thing. A pair of boobs constantly cooped up in a bra during sex would be far more of a passion killer than and size/shape if free swinging boobs!

Huskylover1 Sun 12-Feb-17 13:31:06

I think to most men, boobs are boobs. I'm sure he will be delighted with them! The only other thing I can think of, is to invest in some sexy lingerie (Ann Summers kind of stuff), so at least you're not just in a normal bra, iyswim. Maybe even see through, but with the support still being there.

MyheartbelongstoG Sun 12-Feb-17 14:20:25

Meet your sister. I wear a vest top and we are both happy.

I don't snog so I know how you feel.

Thinkingofausername1 Sun 12-Feb-17 16:46:33

Hi Hun I've only had one child too and feel similar to you. The gym has helped me feel better about it and I've noticed since I've not been before Christmas, I'm noticing they aren't feeling toned anymore.so must get back into the routine. Could you talk to him and say how you feel??

Dieu Sun 12-Feb-17 16:52:37

Next time you have sex, go on top. Keep your bra on, but push your boobs out over the top of the cups. He will be able to see your boobs in their entirety, but they will still be pushed up from your bra. Does that make sense at all? blush

SammieSalmon Mon 13-Feb-17 11:54:49

So last night i told him i hate my boobs and he told me not to be ridiculous. We had sex but i still left my bra on blush i think it will take time

Ilovecaindingle Mon 13-Feb-17 11:57:27

What about a cami top? Still covered but a bit more available to him??!!

Nomoreworkathome Mon 13-Feb-17 12:05:25

In the nicest possible way I think you are drawing unnecessary attention to your boobs. I get how you feel but I suspect your new man probably wouldn't have even noticed if you hadn't said anything in the first place. Now he is likely to be looking very hard which may well make you feel even worse.

SammieSalmon Mon 13-Feb-17 12:14:30

I know but i cant take my bra off so hes asked why. I may aswell be honest.

NeedATrim Mon 13-Feb-17 12:17:20

In my experience men like a pair of breasts that they can wiggle and jiggle and knead about. Like extra soft stress balls and the like. Your confidence is down about your top half but it sounds like he really doesn't criticise you even a fraction in the way you are criticising yourself.

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