Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

If it's the end - who does what?

(13 Posts)
Ricksheadtilt Sat 11-Feb-17 20:17:38

I'm going to try and be factual and cold. If it seems it's all over. How does it happen? One of you has to utter the words. Who moves out?
I have no income, no job, no family nearby. Car, phone everything is in his name. Am I as fucked as I think I am. I can't go to a lawyer as I can't pay them.

Secretlife0fbees Sat 11-Feb-17 20:19:20

Are you married?
Maybe it is better to start getting yourself in the best possible position before you take that final step... what are your circumstances? Dc?

faceremovinghaircream Sat 11-Feb-17 20:19:23

Hello. I am in the same position so watching with interest. Sorry no help!

Getmeouttaherenow Sat 11-Feb-17 20:20:42

Me too. Following

Ricksheadtilt Sat 11-Feb-17 20:21:21

Married. 3 dc. I'm really not sure time is on my side here. It's been bad for a while, but it's getting explosive.

Secretlife0fbees Sat 11-Feb-17 20:31:39

OP are you in danger? Is he violent?
What do you mean about time being on your side?
ring women's aid in the first instance especially if you are feeling vulnerable and powerless..

Ricksheadtilt Sat 11-Feb-17 20:39:57

Honestly I don't know. He's angry and shouty. (Not just now - off and on. Unpredictable. Walking on eggshells). I'm not drip feeding (I know it's a massive no no).
I don't think women's aid is right. We're all fed, clothed etc. I'm 99% he's never hit me (there's one hazy night & a broken bone but unproven). Yes I feel scared, but if what? There's nothing tangible or proven. It's just got the point tonight where I think it's best we go. I just don't know logistically how?

Tracey300884 Sat 11-Feb-17 20:41:54

A broken bone from a hazy night?

Sweetheart, Women's Aid are there for Domestic Abuse as well as violence. This IS Domestic Abuse.

Tracey300884 Sat 11-Feb-17 20:42:35

Rick Feel free to PM me. I've been there I can help xx

Secretlife0fbees Sat 11-Feb-17 20:51:46

Rick womensaid isn't just for women suffering domestic physical violence, they're there to advise you on all types of abusive situations.. and at least they could possibly point you in the right direction...
You could do with getting some free legal advice.. some places do a free half hour don't they?
At least you're married and therefore entitled to half all marital assets so I very much doubt you're in as bad a situation as you think practically.
How does he feel? Is he in agreement that separation is on the cards? Would he stop you?

Ricksheadtilt Sat 11-Feb-17 21:21:58


Hermonie2016 Sat 11-Feb-17 21:28:26

Listen to your gut instinct and make sure you feel safe.

TinselAngel Sat 11-Feb-17 21:34:09

The way I told my ex I'd finally had enough was by telling him I'd put the house on the market. Then I was lucky enough to get a council flat. I moved out and He stayed in the marital home until it was sold.

I'd recommend a visit to your local Citizen's Advice Bureau, they will be able to advise you about housing, benefits and anything else you need.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: