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Thoughtless Men!

(8 Posts)
Newwoman2017 Sat 11-Feb-17 17:29:10

I feel really upset. I organised babysitters for two nights telling my husband several weeks ago. It was to kind of celebrate being Together 11 yrs.
I said i'd leave it to him ro organise something as Its always me that organises a sitter or books cinema or meals out.

Basically we have done exactly what we normally do when the kids are here. Watch tv. Drink coffee. I said i thought we'd be going out to which he replied i have far more time than him to organise stuff.

Am I being selfish I feel like the bottom of the pile. I make him coffee every morning. I do the housework, shopping & 98% cooking. All the school runs/sandwiches. I make all the drinks. Ahhh sorry Rant over just dissapointed. 😭

keepingonrunning Sat 11-Feb-17 17:53:08

I think it speaks volumes about how he feels about you and your relationship - completely taking you for granted and showing you a severe lack of respect and consideration.
I would be asking myself if I would be happier without having him around, treating my like the housekeeper. At least then you would be free to find someone who values and respects you.

loinnir Sat 11-Feb-17 17:57:31

No wonder you are disappointed - we all need to feel valued and cherished sometimes. He sounds self entitled and selfish - of course, his time is so much more important than yours!

Huskylover1 Sat 11-Feb-17 17:58:39

It's not too late to go out. It's annoying he hasn't booked anything, but unless there is way more to this, just ask him now where he'd like to go, and then go start getting ready.

Not sure about your chores related comment, it really depends on what set up you have. I also do almost all of the chores at home, but I don't mind as I work far less hours from home, so it makes sense for me to get it done when DH is at work. Then when he comes home, we can spend the evening together with no jobs to be done.

JennyHolzersGhost Sat 11-Feb-17 17:59:36

Are you child free tomorrow too? I'd be taking myself off to do something lovely for myself - like a spa or the theatre or whatever you enjoy. He sounds like he is totally taking you for granted. Get out there and have a nice time yourself and seriously reappraise your relationship. He needs a massive kick up the butt.


Newwoman2017 Sat 11-Feb-17 18:08:07

I think the chores issue came up because a few months ago I was working 5 days a wk during school hrs. I lost the plot because I was doing too much and had no time in the house on my own.
We had a blazing row when he had go at me for not putting wood on the fire which was the final straw. He told me I needed to do less hours so I packed in onevof my job and now just do 2 days a wk. Much happier now I am at home. Just feel a bit taken for granted and unimportant.

JennyHolzersGhost Sat 11-Feb-17 18:24:03

Maybe time to reappraise that decision and ask him to do his fair share of housework instead ?

keepingonrunning Sat 11-Feb-17 22:05:18

The message he's sending is he doesn't care about making you feel loved and appreciated. Instead he's full of resentment. It must be really hurtful for you, especially considering all the menial tasks you do for him and the family.
I would be careful of letting him guilt you into giving up the job you still have in the future. It's your lifeline to independence should you need it. Question to yourself his assumption that all the household chores fall to you, after all you are a wage earner too part of the week. And wonder why he sees organising a special evening for the two of you as just another one of those chores.

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