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Text cheating - me

(6 Posts)
Opel9 Sat 11-Feb-17 14:18:46

I am a complete horrible twat I am aware. Sorry this is long.

I have NC for this and been nervously considering whether I and brave enough to post this all morning!

I have a lovely DP who is amazing He's kind and loving and everything I could ever want. Sometimes I feel like he hasn't seen the 'real me' which is a person who is selfish and doesn't deserve him. Maybe he gets the best version of me because he brings it out of me but somewhere the self destruct is not that far under the surface. When he tells me I am beautiful part of me doesn't believe him.

Today I feel like a disgusting person because I had a little bit to drink last night and reciprocated in inappropriate texting with a man from work (we don't work in the same building so don't see each other often). I don't have his number saved in my phone but I once gave him mine when he asked. I was single but he is married I later found out. It was a moment possibly based on feeling flattered? I actually didnt think he would ever be attracted to me. We don't really speak all that much in general.

I find him very attractive but I don't actually want to sleep with him or take part in this. The idea of physically doing it in reality makes me feel ill. I couldn't actually do it. So I led OM on because I have no intention of meeting him like he suggested and I don't want to shag him. A deep part of me can't deny would bloody love to shag him in a fantasy scenario (or in a former, single younger life!) but there's too much to lose, and shagging a married bloke is grim.

So the texting went too far and I took part. I stopped it when he started asking me for dirty photos. This morning he text to say he was drunk but enjoyed it. I have not replied and blocked him and deleted everything.

Do I just put this down to selfish stupidity? What do I do now?

MyheartbelongstoG Sat 11-Feb-17 14:23:17

Ignore and move on.

Jessica4444 Sat 11-Feb-17 14:24:32

I'd be more concerned with your DP finding out and how he feels instead of yourself. You deleted the messages but the OM still has them.

Opel9 Sat 11-Feb-17 14:30:20

I don't think DP would find out unless I told him. It would break his heart and he would probably leave me and I would deserve that he would hate me. I'm not sure he would ever forgive me and I wouldn't expect him to. He is such a good bloke.

I don't care about OM. I'm not sure he would risk doing anything with the messages, because it was more him trying to flirty dirty coerce me into saying things or making suggestions.

Buzzardbird Sat 11-Feb-17 14:32:28

Lesson learned. Move on. Pray you don't get found out.

Jessica4444 Sat 11-Feb-17 14:33:01

I think as you put it you've got a good DP if your sure he'll never know move on and never do anything like this again, keep hold of your DP men like that are hard to find.

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