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Just ended it, but he's being difficult......help please......

(8 Posts)
moosh Wed 28-Feb-07 08:52:09

I have had enough of dp and after 10 years I have called it a day.
We had an argument 2 weeks ago and he is still not talking to me. Childish or what!
He is unsupportive while I am going through abuse counselling at the moment.
I feel that I have really been on my own for a long time and he's got the cheek to say that "I made him this way".
Asked him to leave this morning and return in a few days so we can chat to the boys as we have both had enough of each other.
But he is refusing to go, saying he has no where to go. His parents have a 3 bed house ffs. My brother left his wife and moved in with my mum who lived in a one bed flat then.
Most men usually go, so he expects me to take the kids down to the council and live in a B&B. What a git !!!!!
I am going to the council today, but hoping he will have to go and not me, but the because he lived in it before I moved in, the property is in his name. But I still can't believe he is prepared to watch me and the children live in a B&B till the Council can find us somewhere to live.
Anyone had to up and leave with their children in similar circumstances, how did it affect them (I have one at school and am worried it will affect his school work). They are the ones I am worried about.
I feel really alone and am not sure of where to turn. My mum lives in one bed Bungalow and my sis has 2 boys and 1 on the way so no room in either of those places.
I just hope someone is there to read this and offer some friendly words of positivity.

hoolagirl Wed 28-Feb-07 09:06:31

What a situation, sounds like you have both reached the end of the road.
Is it a council house?
I don't know about the rules, but I would think you have a right to be there because of the kids.
I would really be tempted to stay where I was and try and get him to go to his mums.
I take it he is happy for you to take the kids?

starfairy Wed 28-Feb-07 09:10:52

Hi Moosh,

You done the right thing for you and your kids, you need someone who is goig to support you and help you, not another child.

Where the house is concerned although it's in his name you are entitled by law to get half of the profit made on it.

Stand your ground, make him move out.

Suggest you seek legal advice also.

starfairy Wed 28-Feb-07 09:13:19

Have faith in yourself & stay strong moosh, you will be just fine.

issyissyissy Wed 28-Feb-07 09:14:50

Hi there. Poor you, he sounds dreadful. I think you should stay where you are for now until you have spoken to someone in the council or go to CAB for advice. As the kids would stay with you ithink it may change the rules of it being his house.
You could also speak to your ds' teacher to tell them what is happening, then they can help him if he is finding it hard to adjust. Good for you for doing something to help yourself.

moosh Wed 28-Feb-07 09:45:51

Thanks everyone. It is a Housing Association Property, hes been in the house for years about 15 I think.
It is really sad, but I feel for the children we are doing the right thing. I thought staying with him would be good for the children, but he thinks we could live together and be civil to one another !!!! What message does that give to my children? not a very good one I think. I think we could parent well seperately as I feel we love each other but can't live together anymore. We have been to Relate too so we have tried options.
I know I would be happier without him particulary with my Counselling at the moment, hes shown no sign of supporting me so I might as well be on my own.
But I feel he would be as stubborn as anything if I told him to go to his mum's again, he is determined not to leave. I don't understand why he is being so awkward, it just makes me hate him now.

MascaraOHara Wed 28-Feb-07 09:48:34

stay strong and just keep moving forward.

go to the council and CAB, let him see that you are going to move on regardless and make a better life for your children.

starfairy Wed 28-Feb-07 09:56:15

Dont waste ur energy hating him, put it all into making a new happy life for you & ur kids.

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