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Need help with this - couple's finance

(5 Posts)
hello2017 Sat 11-Feb-17 01:32:02

We don't have any joint savings, we don't have kids and I am not working. I moved to UK after we got married. I am quite qualified but we had to travel for family commitments and I had to take a break. dh managed his work remotely.
He has given me credit cards for groceries, and says I can use them to buy whatever I want (including other stuff like clothes, etc). I find it strange that we have no investment or savings together. He has very good job and good income. He says I should tell him when I need money and he will transfer it to my account. He spends money on going out with me, travel, gifts, etc. But seems to have problem with a joint account with me.
I tried to talk to him a couple of times, and he doesn't understand the issue. I am trying to find a job but not getting success, I don't want to depend on him financially permanently but it would be thoughtful of him to have an account with some money in it (don't mean it to be his main or salary account). It makes me feel he doesn't trust me completely. He told me in the beginning we need to have a joint bank account, at that time we were travelling and had some fights. On return he never mentioned the joint again. I feel he is cautious of things not working between us. What do you ladies or gents think? AIBU for wanting some saving together? Thanks for reading smile

SleepingTiger Sat 11-Feb-17 01:42:17

What is your religion?
What is your culture?
What are your respective nationalities (dual if the case)?
With which banks are the credit cards?

Personally I think your situation is not good, but answers to the above will help me explain why (which may help you) smile

hello2017 Sat 11-Feb-17 09:39:33

How will name of banks issuing cc going to help? I am open to hearing different views.

LIZS Sat 11-Feb-17 09:48:00

Why do you feel you can not remind him re. Joint account. Are you from EU or entitled to work in UK? Does he have British citizenship or are you from the same background? It seems very odd that he has given you a Credit Card (presumably as a second signatory but not yours) but not direct access to a bank account.

hello2017 Sat 11-Feb-17 10:33:01

Thanks LIZS.
I talked to him about a few times but he says I can use the credit card for my needs. He has British citizenship and as his spouse I am entitled to work here. I am looking for jobs. But this issue of him not wanting to have any joint account even for a small amount makes me feel insecure. Initially I took the break to relocate and then needed to travel with him for his family commitments. He refers to his money as our money though. But seems like deep down he is very uncomfortable with the idea of giving me access to some of it. I don't care about the actual money, my issue is that he doesn't trust me or not sure about our future. Another thing, his philosophy on how to spend money keeps changing. Sometimes he overspends on things on non essentials. Other times he is trying to be very careful. So I end up being very uncomfortable with buying things for me even with credit cards. I tried to tell him that we need to have some sort of budget planning, he says he never looked into how much he is spending and doesn't want to do it. I told him I get confused with his different signals about spending money but he doesnt understand the issue. One example is he bought vey expensive chocolates and candles for me but got irritated with me for losing a discount of £3 on a large bottle of shampoo. I think he is trying to be in control. It makes me very uncomfortable. Sorry if I repeated myself.

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