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Son met new man well too early!

(35 Posts)
SammieSalmon Fri 10-Feb-17 14:33:08

Hi hope everyone is ok! Ive been seeing a new man for about six weeks. Last Saturday i was having a party at mine and he was there. My friend had my son and decided to bring him back to my house so he could go to bed and she could join dh at the party! So my son was introduced to my new man without planning ! New man was fine and took it in his stride and i put my son to bed. Everythings fine since but i feel like my stupid friend didnt think and i was not able to introduce them properly and on my terms.

NotTheFordType Fri 10-Feb-17 14:36:05

How old is your son? Unless you introduced the guy as "DS, this is Bob and he's going to be your new dad" (which I'm sure you didn't!) won't he simply think that the guy is a friend of yours?

SammieSalmon Fri 10-Feb-17 14:37:21

He's 13 months so would have no clue who was who but I wanted to introduce them on my terms

Notagain2017 Fri 10-Feb-17 14:39:08

You posted this the other day?

SammieSalmon Fri 10-Feb-17 14:39:59

I posted in chat which is probably the wrong place?

HelenaGWells Fri 10-Feb-17 14:42:15

How did you introduce him? Unless he came in to see you snogging the face off new man he likely won't think anything of it, especially in that environment.

I remember meeting one of my mums boyfriends and he was just introduced as "my friend Jim" We saw him a couple of times in a group and then he vanished. When I asked my mum said "He's very busy so I don't see him much any more." I promptly forgot about him. I remembered years later when my mum brought it up saying he was an asshole and she regretting introducing him to us. I hadn't even realised he was her boyfriend.

HelenaGWells Fri 10-Feb-17 14:43:07

At 13 months he won't know anything. A child that small won't remember specific people in a room full of people.

Lucy7400 Fri 10-Feb-17 15:06:45

You're overthinking this to say the least.

WannaBe Fri 10-Feb-17 15:14:13

At thirteen months he won't have a clue.

And don't over-think it. Reality is that while it's potentially too early, the more you agonise over a "right" way to introduce new man to your DS, the more it will seem like a planned exercise and the less likely it will go to plan anyway.

My DS met my DP much earlier than I had in mind for different reasons and he was ten at the time. But looking back it all worked out anyway and any kind of planned meeting would have seemed forced, and I would have over-thought how to do it and agonised over it etc so impromptu worked out for the best in the end, even though I didn't think so at the time.

But your relationship is still young, your DS is still too young to be bothered about a man in your life, and your new man knows you have a child anyway. So if it works out between you then fine, if not then just chalk it up to experience.

PurpleDaisies Fri 10-Feb-17 15:16:04

What was the introduction "on your terms" going to be?

Seriously, nothing bad has happened to your son. You're hugely ovrerthinking this.

Costacoffeeplease Fri 10-Feb-17 15:24:44

Huge non event at his age

Notagain2017 Fri 10-Feb-17 15:26:39

Who are you worried about? Your new man or your child?

NerrSnerr Fri 10-Feb-17 15:28:46

He's 13 months! He won't have a clue who he is. Are you more concerned about the man's reaction?

I am struggling to see what the problem is?

MrsBluesky1 Fri 10-Feb-17 15:29:36

Tbf I'd be pissed off if my mate had a party, used me for babysitting and invited my partner

AnyFucker Fri 10-Feb-17 15:34:04

Had you told your boyfriend about your son ?

Floggingmolly Fri 10-Feb-17 15:38:11

Whose "DH" was your friend joining at the party?

EssieTregowan Fri 10-Feb-17 15:39:26

This is such a non problem. Honestly.

Huskylover1 Fri 10-Feb-17 15:51:58

13 months!

Pah, it's nothing to worry about AT ALL.

Total non-issue.

bert3400 Fri 10-Feb-17 16:21:37

Blowing everything out of proportion . I hope you didn't say anything to your friend , cause she may never look after your son again !

SammieSalmon Fri 10-Feb-17 16:56:35

Bluesky my friend offered to babysit as she was in work early the next day. She was joining her dh but didnt text me to tell me she was bring ds back so i had a shock thats all.i think dating someone with a baby is obviously different and i wanted to wait before introducing ds

Costacoffeeplease Fri 10-Feb-17 16:57:40

So it's your new man's reaction you're concerned about, not your son?

SammieSalmon Fri 10-Feb-17 17:05:25

I like new man and he knew i have a baby but due to the newness of relationship i wanted to wait before introductions. Ive never been a single mum dating before its difficult

Notfootball Fri 10-Feb-17 17:05:43

Didn't your gentleman friend know that you have a baby?

AnyFucker Fri 10-Feb-17 17:05:59

I'll ask you again. Did your boyfriend know you have a son ?l

AnyFucker Fri 10-Feb-17 17:06:36

OK. Cross posted. Thanks for answering.

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