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My husband doesn't like to take me to the public

(52 Posts)
user1468987371 Fri 10-Feb-17 07:07:16

My husband doesn't like to take me to the public. We are at our 30s, we have a 2year old son.Married 3 years. His company had Christmas party, he said, baby and me are allowed to go. I said how could u invite some people to a party like this, allowed? I was still not happy but he left home without persuade me to go. For other events he explained he didn't want to mix family with work. I had never join any of his company's Christmas party, just had meal one time with new colleagues ,that's all.Is that usual?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Fri 10-Feb-17 07:10:18

So he invited you to the Christmas party and you declined?

Tbh I've never been to anything to do with my husband's work. Never did anything to do with my ex-husband's either. I don't think it's that unusual.

Fackorf Fri 10-Feb-17 07:12:37

I've never been to any of my husband's work functions.

I can't tell from your OP whether you want to go to them or not.

Ifailed Fri 10-Feb-17 07:12:53

I don't get " not wanting to take you to the public "?

ChuckSnowballs Fri 10-Feb-17 07:13:15

I have never been to my OH's work dos, and hopefully never will.

He came to mine twice, when we had a boat trip on the Thames. And once to the HMS Belfast. At the time we did a lot of company dos.

I've only ever been out with his footie chums the once, for a meal. I can take it or leave it to be honest.

12 years together. Probably because we don't force company dos onto each other.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe Fri 10-Feb-17 07:14:30

What does "to the public" mean?

Lessthanaballpark Fri 10-Feb-17 07:16:49

You're saying that you don't want to be "allowed" to go to his company dos but you would rather be enthusiastically invited by a husband who wants you to be with him in public?

If so, it doesn't sound too unreasonable of you. You're worried that he ashamed of you? Is there any reason why he should be?

60sname Fri 10-Feb-17 07:17:24

'Take me out in public'. It's not that hard to work out what op meant, surely?

WipsGlitter Fri 10-Feb-17 07:17:51

I'm guessing she means "out in public"

I think generally partners (and definitely not children) are not invited to Christmas work events. For all the ones I've ever been to it's never been partners invited.

Do you go out together apart from that? To cafes, days out, cinema etc?

TanteRose Fri 10-Feb-17 07:18:14

it means he doesn't like taking her out with him in public - where other people are gathered, like work events.

OP its not all that unusual not to go to your OH's work events (my DH never comes to any of mine), but what about just you and him (and your little boy). Do you all go out as a family?
Does he allow you to go out with your friends?

sonlypuppyfat Fri 10-Feb-17 07:19:39

It's a bit hard to follow isn't it

christmaswreaths Fri 10-Feb-17 07:21:30

Op is clearly not English, it is obvious what she meant.

This also explains her confusion. In the UK you generally don't take your family to work events. I thought it was strange at first too but it is just normal.

sonjadog Fri 10-Feb-17 07:24:45

It isn't really. The OP obviously doesn't have English as her first language. Try adding a bit of good will and understanding to your reading and I think you'll understand fine.

I think if you declined to go, you can't say he didn't want to take you out in public, OP.

PacificDogwod Fri 10-Feb-17 07:26:45

If it was a work night out, I'd really not worry - it is just not 'the done thing' in the UK to take families.

If you have other concerns that he is controlling what you can and cannot do and where you are or are not allowed to go, that is more of a concern.

Do you have a good relationship with your husband? A happy marriage?

60sname Fri 10-Feb-17 07:28:10

Just to add, op, that I have worked for five or six different companies of various sizes and none have allowed you to bring partners.

JoJoSM2 Fri 10-Feb-17 07:38:36

I went to my dh's Christmas do once as +1 were invited. He's never been to any of my work things. In the UK, work things are generally for work colleagues only.

NewPuppyMum Fri 10-Feb-17 07:42:10

I've been invited to dh work do thenlast couple of times. Differ not companies. I doubt it really is generally that uk companies don't allow partners.

KateDaniels2 Fri 10-Feb-17 07:44:40

Tbh i would never take dh to my work parties anymore. He doesnt know them so i spend my night trying to make sure he doesnt feel abandoned whilst having fun with colleagues. Its too much hard work.

I certainly wouldnt take a baby to
a works christmas party or any work party.

I think the OP means she feels he doesnt take her to public events. But it also seems by public she is reffering to just work stuff. I dont think that its that unusual.

likeacrow Fri 10-Feb-17 07:46:04

Echoing what others have said, English is obviously a second language here, pretty clear what the meaning is however.
Also echoing what others have said, OP: it's not that unusual for partners not to be invited to work dos. It depends on the workplace.

TheNaze73 Fri 10-Feb-17 07:47:07

I wouldn't sweat the small stuff OP. It's not uncommon.

MixedGrill Fri 10-Feb-17 07:52:50

Do other men take their families to these work events?

Do you go out to other places with your husband?

What is the reason you think he doesn't take you? Are you worried? Are you upset?

Brokenbiscuit Fri 10-Feb-17 07:53:27

What's with all the nasty digs at the OP's English? It's obvious what she meant.

OP, it isn't that common here to mix family with work - my DH has never socialised with my colleagues but that isn't because I'm ashamed of him!

Lochan Fri 10-Feb-17 07:58:09

I go to my DH's Christmas night out but it's a formal dinner dance function and everyone brings their partners.

I don't go to any other work nights out.

He doesn't come to my work Christmas function just because it's not that kind of event.

Hoppinggreen Fri 10-Feb-17 08:01:00

No, it's not unusual for families not to be invited to the works Christmas do.
However, if he generally doesn't like to be seen with you in public then that is a problem

TeaholicsAnonymous Fri 10-Feb-17 08:02:23

I knew two things instantly.
What the oP meant
That English isn't her first language.

OP - it can be normal to feel a little uncomfortable when two worlds over lap.

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