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How to heal broken heart ?

(16 Posts)
troubledsoul12 Fri 10-Feb-17 06:50:06

I feel like I am drowning ....I am 36 and never experienced heart break...is this it?
Feel like I can not move ...everything is blur.... Heavy ...
I just need someone who knows me , someone who won't judge , someone who won't say I told you so .....
How do I go through another day? How?

Chipsandonionrings Fri 10-Feb-17 06:56:08

I don't think you heal a broken heart at first you just learn to ignore it. You get through it one minute at a time. Keep yourself busy, find new things, have fun. Its very hard at first but it does get easier. Its proper shit but it will get easier. I had my heart broken once and I thought I would never get over it, I thought I would die but I did and I am so glad that relationship came to an end as my life now is so different to what it would have been. Walk away head held high. Good luck

Chipsandonionrings Fri 10-Feb-17 06:57:05

Should say didn't obvs!

BrioLover Fri 10-Feb-17 06:58:39

Time heals - it's such a cliche but it's true. You learn to live with it first and then after a while you realise you don't feel as bad as before. Get busy, make sure you're at work, at the gym (or whatever you do for exercise), start (or continue) a healthy eating regime etc.

💐 for you. It's awful.

troubledsoul12 Fri 10-Feb-17 08:23:19

Thank you ... So much ... It's like I am in the closed room with no windows and searching for any source of light ... And keep tripping on things

Chipsandonionrings Fri 10-Feb-17 08:42:19

Give yourself one day to cry, wail and eat ice cream whilst listening to heartbreak songs. Then ( meant kindly) pull yourself together. It sucks but everyone has been here and we all survived even if we didn't think we would. Work on yourself eat well exercise etc. See friends, read a book. Make a determined effort to not dwell or reflect. So sorry you are feeling this way but distraction is the key.

hellsbellsmelons Fri 10-Feb-17 08:47:51

Time! It really does just take time.
Right now you feel like your heart has been ripped out and then torn into a million pieces and then thrown on the floor and been stomped on.
It is literally, physical pain.
Many many of us have been right where you are.
Can't eat, can't sleep, can't think, can't breathe.
It's awful.
But we are all here to tell you that you do get over it.
You won't feel like it right now but you will.

Keep busy.
Get as much support from friends and family around you as you can.
Lean on them, they will want to help you right now.
Just get through each hour for now.
Then it will be getting through the next day.
Then the next week.
Then it just does get easier.

My ExH I was with for 15 years.
I can honestly say it took me a good 6 months before I started to feel a bit more like me.
Probably a year before I felt good about myself.
But my friends and family absolutely got me through it.

I'm sorry you are going through this.
It's shit - totally shit.
Keep going, you'll get there.

knorrig Fri 10-Feb-17 09:39:14

Sorry you're going through this - it's horrible.

The time is a great healer cliche is so very true - but it's just hard to get through that time right now.

It's happened to me twice - my first bf who I was infatuated with, split after 2 years when I was 19, I honestly thought my life was over, it took me a long time but I learned that I was better off without him.

2nd time it was my husband I'd been with for 10 years and married for 3 - he walked out on me one evening and pretty much disappeared for 2 months. I was absolutely bereft and even used to google things like 'can you die from a broken heart.' I couldn't believe somebody I trusted could do that to me. But based on the prior experience, I knew I could get through it...I grew strong (so when he came crawling back I was able to tell him where to go) and learned to enjoy life as mush as possible...I accepted every invitation put my way and can honestly say I had the best years of my life then. After kissing many frogs I then met me OH and we're now living together and I'm 20 weeks pregnant.

You will get through this I promise, just take it slowly and be kind to yourself.

mickyblueyes Fri 10-Feb-17 11:20:28

Can't really say anymore than whats already been said, especially HellsBells advice.

A broken heart is a form of grief in my opinion, often accompanied by physical pain, I also felt what I can only describe as 'mentally numb' for about a year...I struggled to recognise my emotions for those 12 months and even still sometimes things feel 'Foggy'.

It does get better though and as others have said fill your time with activities, reach out to friends and family, get a hobby, join a gym, eat well, eat healthy. Right now getting out of bed might seem hard, but each small step you take leads to a bigger one...but you will get there.

CantstandmLMs Fri 10-Feb-17 18:06:24

Dear OP I just found your thread as I'm just going through this (the past few days) I have never felt this bad before. I have flashes of just wanting to end my life because I can see past this - but I know that's just extreme pain.

I can't see a future for myself at all. Feel like I can't breath sad

2cats2many Fri 10-Feb-17 18:12:58

How long were you together for?

When I split with my ex husband it felt like a death. I felt dreadful; couldn't sleep or eat and was totally miserable.

However, the poster who said that time heals is right. What I did while waiting for time to blunt the pain was to keep myself busy, have casual flings, book holidays, etc. It was all a distraction and it really did help.

I'm married again now, but when my ex pops up on social media it can sti feel like a kick in the guts (even tho I can see why we were so mismatched and wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him.now) and that's 15 years later!! These feelings can be incredibly powerful.

LindyHemming Fri 10-Feb-17 18:18:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CantstandmLMs Fri 10-Feb-17 18:45:42

Nearly 3 years. It's so hard to hear it will take a lot of time (obviously). I didn't want this at all I'm still somewhat in denial I think. I haven't also wanted to eat a thing i just feel so sick. Can't eat or sleep.

We're booked for a spa weekend for valentines weekend sad with another bloody couple just to add salt into the wound. I will have to tell them soon but I'm still going I need it. How depressing.

Bones2017 Sun 12-Feb-17 11:33:58

It's absolutely horrible isn't it? I'm 36 also and my heart and soul is shattered. And I have 2 young kids to carry on for. I'm taking every day as it comes. Not making any major decisions as yet. I'm 10 weeks in and I'm still waiting to feel any better. 💔

Mangoandpassionfruit Sun 12-Feb-17 15:10:25

I promise you it gets better, two years ago a friend said that to me and I genuinely didn't ever think I would stop crying let alone be happy again after my heart was ripped out for the first time at the tender age of 44. I crawled, literally through those days. Just be kind to yourself, take long baths, eat nice food, buy yourself flowers. Read books and walk. Wear comfy, cosy clothes and let those around you love you and comfort you. Let yourself cry but then get up and wipe away your tears and make yourself a warm drink. Take pleasure in tiny things and try and find a piece of sunshine ever day. There will be something. I look back on that time now and my heart goes out to you. It does make you stronger and you will be happy again and you will laugh again.

CantstandmLMs Sun 12-Feb-17 15:26:44

So sorry Bones sad I just want to cry for you all as well as myself.
I was so scared of my heart being broken as soon as I got those intense feelings of love for the first time. And here we are.

Mango thank you for your kind words of experience. I wish we were all as resilient as these men seem to be?!

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