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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Has anyone's DH ever faked an orgasm?

28 replies

mrslaichaoui · 10/02/2017 01:33

Basically what it says? I know he didn't but he acted like he did Aibu to be completely mortified and upset 😢

OP posts:

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pineapplesplit · 10/02/2017 01:40

what do you mean? you mean he came but pretended he was pretending to upset you??
Or is this a convo you were having and he implied that in the past hed faked it?
I have had a partner fake it. It was really obvious and really odd. He was a pretty odd fellow.

mrslaichaoui · 10/02/2017 01:44

We were having "good times" and then he abruptly ended as if he was but I think he did it just so he could stop! Maybe I'm just being weird haha?

OP posts:

avamiah · 10/02/2017 01:54

Sounds possible,but surely you would know.?

mrslaichaoui · 10/02/2017 02:06

Nope that's why I've asked the question if I knew for sure I wouldn't embarrass myself 😩

OP posts:

pineapplesplit · 10/02/2017 02:17

Just ask him? Ive had to ask my husband before, not because i thought hed faked it but just because it was unclear if i should keep going etc Maybe he just didnt want to offend you by saying he wasnt really in the mood for having sex or had something on his mind... just ask him straight

TheNaze73 · 10/02/2017 07:04

I think everyone, regardless of gender, must have faked an orgasm at least once. Wouldn't worry about it OP.

Believeitornot · 10/02/2017 07:24

You said you know he didn't but he acted like he did?

That makes no sense to me

I've faked because I can't be bothered to keep up the performance and want to go to sleep

Thephoneywar · 10/02/2017 08:17

"Good times"... does that mean intercourse? Was he using a condom?

PaterPower · 10/02/2017 10:11

I've done this before. Sometimes you just can't orgasm ("he" gets desensitised, you've had a few to drink or whatever). Doesn't happen often, but it's bloody frustrating when it does.

Speaking for myself, it just feels a bit more polite to let your partner orgasm, pretend you have too, have a cuddle and then see to yourself later.

Exactly as lots of women have done and will do - but never with me of course!! ;-)

Did I mention I'm good at deluding myself too?

Happybunny19 · 10/02/2017 10:16

Yes probably when it's gone on a little too long and sensitivity has been lost a bit. We've been together for ages now though, so he doesn't mind just stopping and saying he didn't orgasm. It doesn't matter, he still enjoys it without climax, it's not all about ejaculation.

LHReturns · 10/02/2017 10:28

OP my DH has done this a few times. He has delayed ejaculation sometimes anyway (stress related etc) and when it goes on too long, like PP said above, he can become desensitised but also has felt under pressure not to let me down. Which is silly because I don't mind at all.

As we don't use condoms it is fairly obvious when he hasn't (not always completely if things are quite wet anyway).

The times it has happened I have not said anything at the time, but a bit later I will choose a quiet moment (maybe when we are brushing our teeth together) and very kindly and gently just say that while I am flattered that he wants me to to think he finished, I totally understand that sometimes it doesn't happen (for either of us) and would prefer if we just mutually stopped, rather than pretend anything.

He has always understood and we have a little laugh about it!

Don't be upset - I think even big grown up men worry about their performance with people they love.

joystir59 · 10/02/2017 10:35

we are a lesbian couple. It is pretty near impossible to fake an orgasm convincingly with another woman, And why would you? Sometimes one of other of us doesn't come- or doesn't particularly want to because we are satisfied anyway. BUT- having slept with men before- I have to say sex with women is a million percent more satisfying. It is rare for lesbians not to orgasm. It takes a woman to know....

NotTheFordType · 10/02/2017 15:09

I have had a partner do so in the past. He'd had far too much to drink. It happens fairly regularly for many men as they get older. Sometimes it seems to be caused by them holding back because they want to last longer, but then it just seems like the urge /capacity goes away.

PaterPower · 10/02/2017 15:43

"Has anyone's DH ever faked an orgasm?"

Yes, yes, yes ooooooh YES!

(Sorry, couldn't resist!)

Huskylover1 · 10/02/2017 15:47

Erm, I'm amazed that anyone can fake it, and the other person not know! It's so obvious when "it" happens

TheGhostOfTroubledJoe · 10/02/2017 15:53

You obviously need to be wearing a condom, but as long as you are it's easy!

TheGhostOfTroubledJoe · 10/02/2017 15:54

Obviously you have to roll over and feign immediate sleep to make it really convincing.

mrslaichaoui · 10/02/2017 17:58

Haha thanks everyone, thought I was going mad last night but we were at it a long time! I know TMI

OP posts:

SandyY2K · 10/02/2017 18:18

No. Never. He wants one every time.

Sallystyle · 10/02/2017 23:27

I don't quite get how you wouldn't know if a man had an orgasm.

Unless you are wearing a condom and don't look at the contents. So no, he hasn't faked it because as soon as I go to the toilet I would know.

I don't fake them, I just tell him I can't orgasm and want to stop.. it happens, it's normal and natural so I feel no need to pretend.

missyB1 · 10/02/2017 23:31

Why do people think a condom would mean you can't tell? It's the opposite in fact! You will see if there is cum in the condom or not.

PossibiliTea · 10/02/2017 23:33

Yeah this has happened to me haha...I went to the toilet after and was like...did you..? And he was like...yeah?? Or at least it felt like I did! ...lol

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Sallystyle · 11/02/2017 10:35

Why do people think a condom would mean you can't tell? It's the opposite in fact! You will see if there is cum in the condom or not.

Well obviously. If you look.

Purplebluebird · 11/02/2017 10:41

I have had this happen with 2 guys in the past - one was too nervous and went soft, and the other was too drunk to climax. Maybe he was too stressed or something? Both those two did tell me though, but since he's your husband he might feel very embarrassed. I'm sure he would have a reason, I sometimes can't climax just because I don't get the "spark" - it's no reflection on the relationship or anything, it just doesn't happen!

HerOtherHalf · 11/02/2017 10:43

I've never faked it but I've admitted defeat a few times. For some bizarre reason, red wine has a terrible delaying effect on me to the point where sex goes beyond the point of fun for either of us. We just laugh it off when it happens and it's no big deal - there's so much more to good sex than just the gooey bit. I do tend to avoid red wine when I can though.

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