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Terrible Date!

(40 Posts)
WTAFF Thu 09-Feb-17 20:38:20

I'm just in hmm from a date with my boyfriend. We've been trying to work on our relationship after recently getting back together. One of the things that is important to me is that he makes more of an effort to come and see me, rather the me going to see him (we live 30 minutes apart).

He came through to my town after work and we went out for a drink. The pub we had picked only had a couple of beers on but is the best of a bad bunch in my locality. He immediately took against the place and then went into a bit of a huff and said he was hungry and wanted some chips. I explained that all the chip shops shut at 7pm (tourist town) but the pub did food or there's a McDonalds just down the road.

Neither of my options were suitable apparently. Seriously, for the next 45 minutes he didn't shut up about these BASTARD chips. So I've just told him to go home, as I can't even deal with his nonsense. I will be having words when I trust myself to be able to speak calmly about this wth him.

I'm sorry, I just needed to vent. Does anyone have any date horror stories that might make me feel better?

Trills Thu 09-Feb-17 20:39:37

Does having this man be your boyfriend generally make your life better than it would be if he were not your boyfriend?

justdontevenfuckingstart Thu 09-Feb-17 20:41:40

That's not a date horror story that's just shitty behaviour from your bf. Sorry.

WTAFF Thu 09-Feb-17 20:41:41

I genuinely don't know why I cannot let him go. Half the time I don't even like him. I am seeing a counsellor to try to work out my feelings but he seems to have some sort of hold over me.

Ilovecaindingle Thu 09-Feb-17 20:44:10

Are you of the mindset that a shit bf is better than no bf?
It really isn't true. .

DJKKSlider Thu 09-Feb-17 20:44:27

What kind of town has no chippies open after 7pm?
Sounds like hell.

It yeah... What trills said.

BottleBeach Thu 09-Feb-17 20:53:54

How long has he been your boyfriend?

Trills Thu 09-Feb-17 20:54:39

What kind of town has no chippy open after 7pm?

And who wants to leave a pub to go get chips when they could get chips IN the pub? In the warm? Sat down?

And yeah, dump him. Don't get him to come to your town. Just stop seeing him. He doesn't have a hold over you. You can do whatever you like. Including dump him.

TurnipCake Thu 09-Feb-17 20:54:58

There's an Italian proverb that basically says, better to walk alone than with a bad companion.

Why did you split in the first place?

scoobydoo1971 Thu 09-Feb-17 21:03:17

I agree with the others. This is not chip-buttie-gate. Hungry men do get grumpy...low blood sugar etc. But hungry men adapt and find other sources of food than closed takeaway. I can tell by the way you write, this relationship is colder than the chip shop. There are plenty of fries in MacDonalds, and plenty of man-fish in the sea.

WTAFF Thu 09-Feb-17 21:15:01

Haha - I love how one of the things that people are focussing on is the opening hours of the chip shops! grin

There are a couple of places open until late but the 'nice' fish and chip restaurants (which would be the type he would want to eat in) cater to tourists and generally shut early evening. I live in a small town on the north east coast if that helps.

I am calming down a bit now. I just am disappointed that every time he has come through to my neck of the woods (five times in three years) he has moaned and spoiled it.

I just needed to vent, so thank you for the opportunity! smile

DJKKSlider Thu 09-Feb-17 21:20:01

He sounds like a prize pollock...... grin

If he cared about you then he'd be happy no matter where he was when he was with you.

spudlike1 Thu 09-Feb-17 21:28:49

Yiu need to ' vent '!!?? you don't need to vent you need to ditch . I suspect you know this already which is why your trying to get support on here and with counselling . Keep going life is far too short .
look at the patterns in your life ? Where did you ? And how did you learn to think this treatment by a man is normal . Why do you think that his selfish behaviour is all.that you deserve , is all you are ever going to get . Wake up !

BeMorePanda Fri 10-Feb-17 07:42:21

I'll bet his behaviour is designed to ensure he doesn't get asked to do what you want/need again. He wants to call all the shots.

Get rid. No good will come out of this relationship and you don't even like him ( for good reason).

Fidelia Fri 10-Feb-17 07:56:07

What Panda said

He sabotaged the date so that you won't want him to come to you.

HarmlessChap Fri 10-Feb-17 12:29:25

As I see it he's throwing a hissy fit because you want him to socialise in an area which isn't as good for socialising as where he lives.

You're admitting the pub was the best of a bad bunch and there isn't the kind of food he'd be looking for, so I can understand why he feels that where he lives is better for going out. However that's not a reason to act like a toddler and he should realise that there has to be give and take with these things. Expecting you to travel to him all the time is unreasonable.

He doesn't sound like a keeper.

Ellisandra Fri 10-Feb-17 12:40:25

He's only come to you 5 times in 3 years?!!!!!

Dump him for that alone. Sorry to be harsh - but, you know this already - he's really not bothered about you angry

Agree with PP, this was him sabotaging the agreement that he'd make more of an effort to come to you. It's not that he's a lazy shite who doesn't care about you enough, you see - it's cos the beer and chips are no good where you are. hmm

Pocketsaviour Fri 10-Feb-17 15:04:41

What Panda said. He's done this on purpose. He's training you. And it's working isn't it?

Do you live in Filey grin

WTAFF Fri 10-Feb-17 15:15:04

No I live much further north than Filey. Perhaps I was over-stating matters when I said it was a tourist town! It's on the coast near Newcastle.

I need to sit down and talk with him, as it's not really working out for me. Thanks everyone.

cgne Fri 10-Feb-17 15:18:50

bin him babe. being on your own isn't appealing but you will very quickly get used to it, see the advantages, and how many better men there are out there. in a few months you will
look back and think 'thank goodness'. 🙂

PiscoSour66 Fri 10-Feb-17 15:43:37

WTAFF, you are a lovely, intelligent, caring and very capable woman. He sounds like such hard work. You deserve a lot better, really you do. X

WTAFF Fri 10-Feb-17 15:54:51

Ah Pisco, thanks so much.

You've just made me shed a little tear.

I hope you're well.

Willow2016 Fri 10-Feb-17 16:06:15

He isn't your boyfriend he is taking advantage of you. He doesn't do a thing to make the effort to see you and when he does it's his way or he will whinge like a toddler and spoil it for you.
This isn't a caring relationship you are doing all the running. Bin him and see how much easier without him.
You seem to have an I realistic view of him that he is somehow a good guy underneath who will come good for you and make your life great. He isn't he is a selfish git and making you miserable.
Single is better than being someone verbal punch bag.
3 Times in 5 years isn't a relationship if you are doing all the travelling. You deserve better make sure you wait till you get it.

PiscoSour66 Fri 10-Feb-17 16:10:20

I'm ok thanks, buggering on!
Don't sell yourself short, woman!
I miss our little gang.

TeaholicsAnonymous Fri 10-Feb-17 16:11:23


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