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(13 Posts)
Aley009 Wed 08-Feb-17 21:26:29

OK.. so me and my partner have been together for nearly 10 years, one Ds aged 2. DP works nights at work over the festive period, I work too so our day would be, I would have Ds in the morning leave for work at 2 and dp would have ds til I got home at 9 and then dp went to work.. anyway to cut a boring story short he went back into days recently, well a week ago, and every time I am off work he falls asleep at like 5pm. When I return home from work the house is a mess nothing is done , I am expected to do everything all dinners all house work and all care of ds when I have a rare day off work and tidy up the mess when I return from work, I have expressed countless times my frustration at coming home to a messy kitchen and a sink full of washing up.. it falls on deaf ears, I have also moaned about the fact he falls asleep so early on my days off including going to sleep at 5pm on my birthday... today I had enough as after telling him .. he fell asleep again at 5pm, he then will sleep for the rest of the day. He does have a physical job but I am nearing the end, I literally feel like I am not only single, but I am his mother and I have two kids! Am I being unreasonable? Bedroom activity has also been non existent for the last month which just adds to it ...

fc301 Wed 08-Feb-17 22:17:55

You need to check he's not unwell as this is an abnormal amount of sleep. Surely if he's just come off nights he'd be wide awake till later on?
I'm thinking GP / blood test / depression???
Is he normally lazy with housework or is this new? I'm just saying is it that he CANT or won't...

Sunshine3987 Wed 08-Feb-17 22:28:46

He just won't he's perfectly capable. And yah on my birthday he decided to go to sleep at 5 woke at 10 , spent the entire day after moaning about how tired he was , fell asleep and the dinner I made ended up in the bin and he had a pizza ... no he isn't Ill for sure

fc301 Wed 08-Feb-17 22:42:31

Oh dear 😞

fc301 Wed 08-Feb-17 22:43:54

I'm worried about you, are you ill?
No? That's a relief cos I can't carry on like this.

Sunshine3987 Wed 08-Feb-17 22:56:21

I've told I can't , it falls on deaf ears he just doesn't take me seriously I'm questioning myself whether I'm bejng selfish but I work 35/40 hours a week take care of our son and the house I'm thinking no this isn't right not when I'm not a single parent, DS starts preschool soon which I've had to sort out single handed, again not a big deal but everything is my job accept the food shop! That's about all I don't do ..

Patchouli666 Wed 08-Feb-17 23:05:10

He's only been working days for a week and you are moaning? He will be on a massive transition body clock wise. It'll be like jet lag. I'd give him at least a month or two to get the right way round. Maybe look online together at transitioning sleep plans for ex night shift workers. I'm sure it won't last and you'll be back on an even keel soon

doubleshotespresso Wed 08-Feb-17 23:16:17

My other half sleeps every night within 20 minutes of having dinner and every weekend, gets up, showers, gets dressed for the day, eats breakfast.

Then remains on the sofa where he sleeps until our evening meal. I am at my wits end, persuaded him to have blood tests, but he's been too busy to go for the follow-up appointment. To be honest I am now in such a (exhausting) routine, I do not even factor him in on any chores, everything is my job these days. I am awake at 5am every day and rarely sit down and eat before 10pm-I feel like a shadow of myself, but too broken to even raise the conversation.

I work full-time, have a very active toddler too- I feel your pain OP I really do and have posted here hoping for inspiration. I cannot continue I really can't...

Sunshine3987 Wed 08-Feb-17 23:19:26

I get that which is why I feel like maybe I am being out of order but it doesn't take away that fact he does nothing in the house and doesn't help himself by going to sleep to early , tbf I think I'm just fed up period and this recent thing isn't helping .. maybe I needed to hear I am being unreasonable but I'm also lonely I have no family here no time to see the few friends I have here , it's a new area. Sure it'll die down soon

Sunshine3987 Wed 08-Feb-17 23:21:52

Oh it's a relief to know I am not alone here double, my toddler is also non stop am to pm.. he's the light of my life though and most days the only reason I smile!

doubleshotespresso Wed 08-Feb-17 23:24:52

It is so frustrating because when he is awake he is fabulous, but I'm not seeing much of this these days, I am literally a zombie making it through each day and wake up each morning wondering how the hell I am going to manage it all again. Of course I do manage it, BUT I would be lying if I told you Im not starting to resent it all now....

Yes my toddler is the only thing keeping me going! ;-)

Sunshine3987 Wed 08-Feb-17 23:37:31

It's like your plough through day in day out and keep posstive as you can for little one, but there comes the time when you're just like this just isn't right I literally feel like a maid most Days & as I say it I do moan nothing registers it's been this way for so long I think I'm jusr ground down by it too much now and the sleeeping patterns are the icing on the cake!

doubleshotespresso Thu 09-Feb-17 00:04:25

Sleeping patterns really take their toll, I just try and do all I can as long as I am awake, and not beat myself up about the bits I don't.

Like you, I am pushing towards breaking point, am hoping to get some time next week to actually talk this through and figure out a better way for the future. It's a lonely existence and I am hating it. A lot.

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