I've name changed as I'm embarrassed to be asking this!
DH has his own business and employs 20-30 members of staff. Late last year he took on another member of staff.
This one was different – he told me he was so “excited” to be hiring her. He never normally comments at all on them except to maybe mention how interviews went. He kept saying how amazing she was, comparing her to existing staff members earning 100K+ saying she was amazing and just like them (she’s very young and paid considerably less). She was asking questions in the interview about how much she could get away with expensing when away on business and normally he would pick up on these things, but in this case he didn't seem to think it was a weird question for her to have. She had also moved jobs quite a few times in close succession... again, in the past he's raised these as red flags against hiring someone.
I admit to being a bit jealous as he was raving about her so much (in fact, he head hunted her with no prior experience of her other than their first meeting), and I did google her and she’s very attractive and young. I mentioned this to him, and he said she was unattractive – she is certainly not.
He kept saying how her CV was amazing and if I saw it I would understand. That she was worth the salary, and he wasn't worried about the short job history/quick changing of jobs, or the fact she's keen to spend on the expenses policy etc.
I did see it, and her CV is not that great at all. In fact, she has no experience really. A year or so, and he’s paying her in excess of £50K per year. I just can’t understand why he is raving about her so much and paying her so much more than similar members of staff. He tells me I am out of touch and that's a normal London salary for that role with her experience. I find that a bit patronising to be honest. I am a SAHM now but was working a year ago in a similar industry. It hasn't changed that much! He also tells me that its his company and I should trust his judgement - so I feel like he's telling me to butt out and maybe I should.
This week I asked about her and was told he’s had no communication with her. He said he hasn’t worked with her at all.
He seemed on edge, so I asked if he would show me his work emails. He wouldn’t. After I got annoyed he did show me, but tried to scroll very quickly past them all on his phone.
I could see he has been speaking with her, and he snatched the phone quickly away from my view.
I didn’t really see what the emails said, but he did then admit that what he said wasn’t true - they are in fact working closely together on a project alone and he’s specifically not told me anything about this. It seems a weird thing to lie about if its all innocent. He says he lied because he thinks I would get irrationally jealous. I'm also now wondering what the emails said since he wouldn't let me see!
He never shows me his phone, and keeps it closely attached to him wherever he goes. He has always been like this though – so I don’t think that in itself is necessarily a strange behaviour.
I now feel uncomfortable about the whole thing. He says I’m irrationally jealous and maybe I am. I just know this behaviour has been different to others he has employed. He says I need to see a therapist and that I have mental health issues.
I have suffered from anxiety in the past and I've had counselling. This has touched a nerve with me, and upset me that he's said this - He knows its a sore subject for me. I'm wondering whether my anxiety is back and worse than ever. I'm not really sure why I am writing this or what I'm expecting you to say, because he obviously hasn't done anything wrong - but something about this makes me uncomfortable and I'd appreciate your views on whether I'm just a bit crazy or whether you would think it seemed odd too.
Thank you!
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Am I jealous?
21 replies
namechanged75465 · 08/02/2017 16:11
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