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What kind of men use prostitutes?

(867 Posts)
Snugglepalace Wed 08-Feb-17 09:51:16

Dh has an outside job which involves spending time on various roads within towns and villages.
A couple of weeks ago he was working on a street in our local town. An everyday street with semi detached homes.
After a day or so Dh and his work colleagues noticed one particular house had a lot of 'visitors'. All the visitors were well dressed men arriving in nice cars. It averaged around 4 men per hour!
At lunchtime a car pulled up (the driver had pizzas) and the door was opened,there was an older woman in the hallway and several younger looking women loitering in the hallway also.
Dh and workmates are convinced it was a brothel. Over the weeks that they were working there they would glare at the men going in and said some of them looked very embarrassed once they realised they had been noticed, one even parked in a nearby supermarket and tried to get in the back way.
I know these things go on but what got me was the thought that surely, several, if not most of these men must have (oblivious?!) partners etc.

PleasantPhesant Wed 08-Feb-17 09:52:36

I have no idea. I feel for all the women involved tbh

RockyBird Wed 08-Feb-17 09:59:17

Over the weeks that they were working there they would glare at the men going in

That told them hmm

Snugglepalace Wed 08-Feb-17 09:59:45

Me too pleasant. I spoke to a friend who is in the police force and works with vulnerable women. She said that sadly this is an ongoing problem which they struggle with on a daily basis.

Snugglepalace Wed 08-Feb-17 10:00:48

Well Rocky we report it, what more could he do?

Telfordmaybe Wed 08-Feb-17 10:01:36

I'm guessing it's the men you'd least expect.

Snugglepalace Wed 08-Feb-17 10:02:21

Remember, the people behind this type of thing are vicious hardened criminals.

RubyWinterstorm Wed 08-Feb-17 10:04:47

lots of "normal" men, like my BIL (highly educated, good job, family and kids), who feels he is married to the right person but sexually unfulfilled, and entitled to the sex life he wants, so this is his "solution"

he thinks the women he visits must feel very lucky that he is a "nice guy" and not sleazy/old/ugly. confused

... he started out with affairs, but that got too risky.

gotta love my BIL hmm

There must be lots of men like that.

AddToBasket Wed 08-Feb-17 10:09:29

People will say it is 'all types of men' but it isn't. It is 'all types of men who believe they can use women in this way'.

MrsMarigold Wed 08-Feb-17 10:10:47

I've known quite a few blokes who've gone to prostitutes, just everyday kind of chaps from all walks of life, they do often have partners, journalists, doctors, bankers, lawyers, civil servants, plumbers, publicans. Some are very good looking, some are very left wing, some are true blue tories, there are no hard and fast rules. In fact there was a brothel four doors down the road from us in a very middle class area of North London, apparently the women who worked there were trafficked and were here illegally. All very sordid and not what you would expect, we didn't even realise it but the neighbours three doors down told us.

Snugglepalace Wed 08-Feb-17 10:11:06

Obviously these men must know that these poor girls are likely to have not chosen this lifestyle but (as my police friend would put it) have SLS (shit life syndrome) and are likely to have been abused as children etc and end up pushed into this lifestyle. And the sickening thing is most of these men probably have children. I bet they would just love to see their Dd's growing up and ending up this way!

TheSparrowhawk Wed 08-Feb-17 10:11:22

Men who don't really see women as people, but as warm walking fuckholes.

Snugglepalace Wed 08-Feb-17 10:13:58

And if these men are visiting in the day, as dh witnessed, then the poor Dd's are likely to never find out confused

Snugglepalace Wed 08-Feb-17 10:15:05

Darling partners (bloody phone!)

Offred Wed 08-Feb-17 10:17:24

Men who feel entitled to be serviced sexually by women.

MrsMarigold Wed 08-Feb-17 10:20:26

I'd actually say of the one's I know (god knows why they confide in me), the love their DPs and kids. I think they do justify it to themselves, saying things like it would be worse if I was emotionally involved with another woman, also it becomes more expensive and harder to lie about. The fact that most prostitutes would rather not do it doesn't really occur to them as the OP said they think but I'm a nice guy, etc.

MrsMarigold Wed 08-Feb-17 10:21:13

I'm not defending them but I don't think they are bad people generally.

Offred Wed 08-Feb-17 10:24:28

I think a man who feels entitled to be sexually serviced by women and doesn't give a thought to the very obvious fact that they have to pay for the service and what that means re consent is a bad person TBH. Doesn't matter if they are professional, love their wife, have kids or anything else...

Snugglepalace Wed 08-Feb-17 10:24:51

Yes, I do think they are in some sort of denial and maybe they don't allow themselves to think of these womens lives at all. I hope never to be in the position to chose but I really think I would rather dh had an affair rather than use prostitutes.

TheSparrowhawk Wed 08-Feb-17 10:25:01

I'd love to know what you think qualifies someone as a 'bad person' if sticking body parts into a woman who is desperate for money doesn't count Marigold.

Offred Wed 08-Feb-17 10:25:42

And TBF it is not just the women servicing them sexually that they are not thinking of. It is their wives/partners too.

Offred Wed 08-Feb-17 10:26:28

Entitlement to the services of a wife and a prostitute... bad people they are.

RoughBeast Wed 08-Feb-17 10:29:38

I think a man who feels entitled to be sexually serviced by women and doesn't give a thought to the very obvious fact that they have to pay for the service and what that means re consent is a bad person TBH. Doesn't matter if they are professional, love their wife, have kids or anything else...

Absolutely.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans Wed 08-Feb-17 10:33:43

Entitled, misogynistic arsewipes who think they can buy women's bodies, at a guess.

MrsMarigold Wed 08-Feb-17 10:43:00

When I said "bad people", I meant the kind of blokes you could go to the pub with and enjoy a pint and a good chat, they don't come across as obviously sexist. Prostitution is extremely prevalent, although DH and I were wondering whether Tinder has had an impact on rates of prostitution because from all accounts people use it in just the same way, it's just less expensive.

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