Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Upset that no one is ever happy/pleased to see me

(5 Posts)
MrsPolkaDotLady Tue 07-Feb-17 17:10:45

Whenever I see or meet up with anyone, they never seem happy to see me and are always quite offhand and grumpy, whilst with others they are nice, chirpy, and smiley!

I met a friend this afternoon and she was very indifferent to see me, and didn't raise a smile the whole time we were with each other. Another mutual friend saw us when we were having a coffee and came over to us and again was all lukewarm with me and friendly towards my friend, who was also all smiley and friendly towards her!

I always try to be upbeat and not moany or grumpy, and it hurts that no one can extend the same courtesy to me.

I see lots of mums on the school run each day who are all serious and 'Hello MrsPolkaDot' when they see me, then they will see someone else who is near me and be delighted to see them!

Everyone is just always to lukewarm with me.

Even DH, if I phone him, or when he gets home in the evening, is always grumpy with me and not with others.

And my colleagues are all friendly and happy towards each other but lukewarm to me!

Why is everyone like it to me? Like I said, I am an upbeat person and always polite and nice to people. I'm not horrible, or bitchy. Everyone seems to take me for granted.

newtoallthese Tue 07-Feb-17 17:15:17

It might be just the way you are seeing them react - as in they aren't actually being offhand with you but you are imagining that they are?

Have a good think - there will be someone who you know who greets you like you want them to greet you (and how you should be greeted of course!!). Think through how you feel when you meet up with them - is it different to how you feel meeting up with others (including DH)?

MrsPolkaDotLady Tue 07-Feb-17 17:57:18

I have often wondered if perhaps I am imagining it but I honestly think that people are offhand with me. I live in a small town and a couple of times lately I've seen women that I know in shops and been friendly and happy to see them and I've just got a brief 'Hi' and they've walked off.

I have a couple of friends that greet me nicely, I feel much happier and valued when I am with them.

I wonder if perhaps I should have being 'offhand' as my default setting as everyone seems to have it as their default setting with me.

newtoallthese Tue 07-Feb-17 20:41:24

I would focus on DH first as he's most important that he greets you nicely!

Could you even just ask him straight out why he's not happier to see you? It might be just his stress at work or something else bothering him and that you're the one he feels most comfortable showing his unhappiness. If he knows it's getting you down as well then hopefully you can work together to work out what it is that is the issue and work at being happier seeing each other.

I know from experience (going through divorce at the moment) - on the long drive home I get stressed, I get grumpy with traffic etc. With my ex I used to be miserable coming in as the first thing they would do is moan at why I'm late and this needs doing and that needs doing etc. My new OH is fantastic. They ask me how my day was and we both kiss, cuddle and just be happy for a few minutes before sharing any worries. Sooooo much better

user1475253854 Tue 07-Feb-17 20:55:33

I don't know if this is relevant to your situation, but I am quite a smiley person with people I don't know well and will greet old friends with just a hello as they know me and I don't feel I have to pretend to be someone I'm not. Do you think this could apply to you or not?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now