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Help ive forgotten how to do this!

(3 Posts)
Meltedcheese Tue 07-Feb-17 16:59:36

I'll try keep the background brief but basically I've been single for just over 2 years, I was beginning to think I wouldn't meet anyone that I connected with again.
4 months ago I met a lovely guy my age and we hit it off. We started off messaging a lot barely going a day or two without speaking and it progressed to a few dates etc until we end up spending at least one day of the weekend together and speaking most days in between.
I thought it was all going great but the last few weeks he seems to have changed dramatically, hardly messages during the week and still doesn't seem keen to make us 'official', doesn't act like we are together in front of mutual friends.
He was quite shy when we first met, I made most of the first moves so I put it down to this but now I'm wondering if he is actually what I thought. Feels like he still wants to been seen as single and this is really bugging me, it's as if I'm good enough for now but he's keeping his options open. He was more keen than me to start with and now I feel like he's done a complete 180. I asked him about this the other day as I thought communication was the best way, really casually asked if he wanted to just keep things as friends only and he seemed shocked and said everything was fine but nothing changed and it still doesn't feel right. I'm making all the first moves, messaging first, barely getting no replies, trying to make plans. I've backed off a bit because I still feel like I'm making all the effort but don't want to bring it up again and look clingy, it has only been a few months! Really thinking of just cutting my losses before I get in to deep but I'm just so confused and I really liked the guy I thought it would go somewhere!

Costacoffeeplease Tue 07-Feb-17 17:06:42

I'd back right off and see what happens, and keep looking around in the meantime. He sounds like a headfuck tbh

JK1773 Tue 07-Feb-17 18:26:41

Maybe he's just conscious about rushing things. He could be. Or does he have other issues going on in his life which are worrying him? I'd maybe just keep acting normal for now and see what happens. Ask him if there's anything wrong maybe, it might not be you at all. Hard to say without asking him but I understand you don't want to seem needy. Maybe ask him in a way that implies you're not asking about the relationship but just about his wellbeing in general and take it from there

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