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Date keeps mentioning other people that fancy her...

(13 Posts)
Saltfish Tue 07-Feb-17 15:46:19

I'm fairly new to the dating scene..met a really lovely girl(I'm also female) and have been speaking a lot throughout the day...we've only had one date which came after 6 weeks of talking(she lives 2.5 hours away) so I feel like she is at least a good friend. We didn't have sex as both were too scared to initiate.

My problem is, she is always mentioning how much other men fancy her...i usually don't respond to it but it's getting to the point it's kind of making me feel a bit insecure.

She is also seeing a guy which she talks to him about me...she says it's developed more into a friendship with him. She has been upfront and honest which is nice. She now wants him to meet me as he is curious about me which I just feel a bit weird about. I just feel odd about meeting someone in her life this soon...

My point is am I being unreasonable about this woman to feel insecure about her already? Should I run for the hills?

ImperialBlether Tue 07-Feb-17 15:48:04

You're not someone who can be rolled out to meet inquisitive men!

She's put you in the friend-zone, I think, and the guy... god knows what he's hoping for.

ElspethFlashman Tue 07-Feb-17 15:51:08

She now wants him to meet me so she can enjoy the sight of two people who want her vying to be the one who goes home with her

Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Saltfish Tue 07-Feb-17 15:59:35

Well she says neither of them want a relationship with the other...

So you think my insecurities are justifiable?

Bluntness100 Tue 07-Feb-17 16:08:21

Something not right about this. Either she's trying to sort out some three way or they are trying to involve you in something else you won't like . I think uou should end it. Genuinely. I think you're being played but I do t know for what reason.

Are you in any way vulnerable? One date, no sex, she wants you to meet some guy. Something is very off.

toastymarshmallow Tue 07-Feb-17 16:10:51

I agree with PP. Something is off here.

I think he is actually her partner and she is grooming you for a threesome.

hellsbellsmelons Tue 07-Feb-17 16:29:57

Yes you should run for the hills.
THEY ARE THAT WAY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ForAllWeKnow Tue 07-Feb-17 17:58:14

I think she rather likes the reaction she gets from boys when she tells them she's into girls.

I'd stay well away.

You need to be able to trust someone completely if you're 2.5 hours away from each other. She should be wanting to get to know you and talk to you and spend time with you. Not trying to make you jealous with talk of men.

LellyMcKelly Tue 07-Feb-17 22:39:01

She's in a relationship with a man. If you are looking for a proper relationship with her, I think you're going to be disappointed.

mysteriouscurle Tue 07-Feb-17 22:39:47

I agree with marshmallow. Run..

Trills Tue 07-Feb-17 22:52:17

My tips:

Don't talk to someone for 6 weeks before meeting. If you can't meet quickly maybe your lives are not compatible, or one of you is too busy for a relationship.

Don't start talking to someone who lives 2.5 hours away. You need to be able to meet casually the first few times to see if you like each other. That's not possible if you are at minimum both travelling over an hour.

Eevee77 Wed 08-Feb-17 00:21:11

I think it's more about her insecurities than yours. IMO she's testing you see what kind of reaction she gets, find out if you care, if you're jealous, if you want her to yourself. It's all a big game anyway so I'd be backing off

AndTheBandPlayedOn Wed 08-Feb-17 01:46:55

What bluntness and toasty said. Your spidey senses are tingling and your gut feeling is that this is not right. Your first solution is that it is you with the problem...insecurities? No. This isn't you or about you. The wierdness you feel is the red flag. You don't need to find out what is going on to be justified in stopping the relationship/friendship contact.

If a date told me about another, concurrent relationship, I'd be offended. It is like you are there for what exactly? To be on call for when the primary plans are fulfilled or cave in? To accept second hand crumbs (when available) to put you in a position of having to compete to advance to the number one choice? No thanks.

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