Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I don't trust him

(14 Posts)
Takenoshit Tue 07-Feb-17 12:36:50

I don't trust him..
He is constantly questioning what I'm doing and where I am..
I lost my shit today because I was out shopping and working meeting a customer with our DD. He is at work..
He rang to talk to me about an appointment.
Anyway he then shouted "and where are you!"
Afterwards he started accusing me of always being out these days. As if he was insinuating I'm a cheat.
After that I flipped and told him right okay mate...
A. We need couples counciling.
B. We swap phones for an hour or two and give each other access to everything.. settle this..

I've caught him on porn sites.. snooping friends profiles and gambling ALOT..

So I already had trust issues..
Problem is he panicked and told me he would rather leave tham go counciling or swap phones.
I only suggested because he accused ME
I'm fuming and my anxiety is in over drive.

KinkyAfro Tue 07-Feb-17 12:40:14

Accusers usually end up being the guilty party

hellsbellsmelons Tue 07-Feb-17 12:41:52

Why are you with this controlling twat?
And he won't swap phones!??
Says a lot about what HE'S got to hide to me.
And the way he is acting, seems like projection to me!

Cut your anxiety right down by ditching this tool!

Bananalanacake Tue 07-Feb-17 12:43:48

Is he still gambling? that alone would be enough for me to leave.

TheNaze73 Tue 07-Feb-17 12:45:59

Women & men who spout the accusations are normally judging others by their own sleazy standards. What with the gambling as well, get rid

FlyWaxSleepRepeat Tue 07-Feb-17 12:46:06

Problem is he panicked and told me he would rather leave tham go counciling or swap phones

Well there's your answer then.

He doesn't trust you, you don't trust him, he doesn't want to do anything to fix this, he'd rather leave.

I suggest you go home and pack for him.

HappyAxolotl Tue 07-Feb-17 12:47:00

I'm with Kinkyafro. The more jealous and possessive a bloke, the more other women he has in tow.

Takenoshit Tue 07-Feb-17 12:49:36

That's the thing I've never given him reason to not trust me. He has access to my phone because we are on the same contract.. in his name.. I let him deal with it because it's easier.
He's had passwords, bank details etc from me. Never in return.
I've a reason NOT to trust him. Yet I'm the one saying let's work on it.. so fed up..

tobedo Tue 07-Feb-17 12:58:06

Takenoshit <<<<<<<<< a good user name.

hellsbellsmelons Tue 07-Feb-17 13:00:13

Why does he have your passwords and bank details.
Put an end to that right now.
You are fed up.
So put a stop to it.
What is your living situation?
Mortgage together?
Renting?
Kids?
Would it be easy enough to walk away?

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 07-Feb-17 13:15:41

Why are you and he together at all?. I hope he does leave actually; you'll be a lot happier without this millstone around your neck.

Why have you also handed over passwords and bank details to him. Are your boundaries really that low?.

What do you want to teach your child about relationships, surely not this dysfunctional model of one.

He is controlling and this behaviour is rooted in abuse. If there is no trust there is no relationship.

Couples counselling is a non starter here as well due to abuse he has meted out towards you. Its never recommended where there is abuse of any type with the relationship.

Takenoshit Tue 07-Feb-17 13:50:48

We rent together and have children...
He'll probably refuse to leave anyway

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 07-Feb-17 13:54:42

Such men usually do refuse to leave; its another way of trying to maintain power and control. You still need to get him gone from your day to day life all the same. He is just dragging you and in turn these children down with him.

You may have to employ legal means to get him out. Can you take on the tenancy on your own?.

Takenoshit Tue 07-Feb-17 14:18:55

Yeah I work two jobs.. I can't afford legal unfortunately though

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now