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list of reasons to be glad I'm not with my ex..

(45 Posts)
lovetobeatpeace Mon 06-Feb-17 17:17:20

Having a tough time of it at the moment & so am trying to deal with my angry feelings by reminding myself what an utter cunt exh is. Please feel free to add your own - I'm hoping we can all find some genuine relief/humour after venting.

1.I don’t fancy him and no longer have to keep up the pretence (his shaved balls - boak)
2.I don’t have to wonder anymore about who he is flirting with or who’s next on his potential affair list
3.I don’t have to lie in bed knowing he’s watching porn/web-camming in the next room
4.I don’t have to put up with his creepy/vomit inducing sex talk & selfish/shit performance in bed (could write a list on this topic alone)
5.I don’t have to get home from a hard day at work to discover he’s had one meeting, played golf/championship manager & has not even managed to wash his breakfast bowl
6.No more snot wiped on the back of the sofa/headboard
7.I don’t have to live with a selfish man child
8. No more being embarrassed when he gets out his "laminated joke list" & relays the same shit jokes over & over.

pocketsaviour Mon 06-Feb-17 17:19:54

Never again will I be subjected to a 2 hour motorway journey whilst suffering through listening to modern jazz because "the driver picks the playlist".

FluffyEwok Mon 06-Feb-17 17:21:05

He was a whiney needy fucker

Rubyslippers7780 Mon 06-Feb-17 17:37:31

Lovetobeatpeace why the hell were you with this 'catch'????

Gaaaah Mon 06-Feb-17 17:45:44

When I split with my ex I cheered with joy that I didn't have to put up with his body odour and bad teeth anymore.

Seriously, look back and think how I ever let that man's penis near me I'll never know!

He was also dumb as fucking fuck! Couldn't even speak properly and it was embarrassing when people corrected him and looked at me as if to say 'you're with this twat?!'

passthewineplz Mon 06-Feb-17 17:46:03

eugh! Snot wiped on the back of the sofa/headboard! 🤢

I'm struggling a bit too love, so try and remember the shitty stuff he does to remind myself what a selfish ugly knobber he is.

My exP was equally as disgusting! He used to flick bogies on the bedroom wall, behind the sofa wall or wipe them on me! 🤢🤢

Other things I don't miss about knobber are:
- him picking his toe and finger nails in the front room.
- his ugly feet and stinking trainers.
- his constant put downs, and causing arguments for no reason which mainly happened because he was 'bored'.
- his hairy back.
- him dripping snot all over me from having a runny nose, and sweating all over me during sex (he's quite a sweaty person) 🤢🤢
- the stupid 'nom nom' noises he makes whilst eating.
- him getting hiccups every time he drinks something fizzy.
- man child behaviour.
- sneezing every time he sucks a mint or looks at the sun.
- his stinking arse!
- his womanising ways.
- using every pot and pan on the house whilst cooking.
- telling me he hoped I had cancer whilst I was waiting to be diagnosed.
- asking me when my hair would grow back after losing it.

There's more, that helps a bit! 😀

BillericayDuckie Mon 06-Feb-17 17:48:41

I don't miss my ex because:
1. I no longer have to put up with his drinking
2. I no longer live with a 46 year old OAP who acts at least 20 years older than he is
3. I can see my friends and family whenever I want - especially at Christmas
4. I no longer only have to watch ITV, BBC1 or Sky Sports on the TV.
5. I no longer have to watch him pick his teeth after eating.
6. I no longer get moaned at for not cleaning or washing / ironing clothes to his exacting standards, despite working full time AND him not lifting a finger to help!
7. I no longer have to listen to his swearing, including in front of the children
8. I can take life at my own pace, without him drumming his fingers impatiently waiting for me

Why did I put up with him for so long??!!

mylifeisamystery Mon 06-Feb-17 17:56:19

Oh I love this I need this too after another argument with exh today..

I don't have to watch football anymore
I don't have to iron his clothes
I don't have to listen to him blowing his nose in the shower
I don't have to clean the toilet after him or put up with his belching and farting
I don't have to put up with his stinking feet or toe nails
Man child behaviour
Unreasonable attitudes
Omg there's loads...

BlueFolly Mon 06-Feb-17 18:02:15

I am sometimes a bit scatterbrained. It's amazing that now when I fuck up all I have to do is sort it out, rather than deal with his reaction. Love being divorced.

InstinctivelyITry Mon 06-Feb-17 18:07:46

I don't have threaten to hire an interpreter to translate his gobbledygook waffle (in english)
I dont have to look at him sitting on sofa like a lounge lizard... one leg out to side, other bent at the knee... (boak)
I dont have to listen to him eating as though he's a pig at a trough.
I no longer have to re-wash the dishes he hasnt cleaned properly
I no longer have to listen to him mouth breathe
I dont have to listen to Elaine Paige on a Sunday.
I dont have to look at his lazy arse, emulating his equally lazy father...

passthewineplz Mon 06-Feb-17 18:20:48

InstinctivelyITry I lol'd at your lounge lizard and breathing comments. My ex does the lizard 🦎 look too! 😂

Avengerhart85 Mon 06-Feb-17 18:24:01

Love! I think we have the same ex 😂

Pixieb34 Mon 06-Feb-17 18:38:31

Oh I so need this today!!!

1. I don't have to wipe up his hair shaving from all over the bathroom.
2. I don't have to look at his ugly feet sticking up from the sofa he laid full length on meaning the children sat on the floor.
3. I don't have listen to the same stupid phrases he found hilariously funny on fucking repeat.
4. I don't have to sweep up plaster or pick up plaster he dropped off his clothes/shoes every day.
5. I don't have to listen to him talking bullshit about what he was going to do, when he never had any intention of achieving jack shit.
6. I don't have to watch him pathetically parent his daughter, speaking to and treating a 10 yr old like she was 2.
7. Not having to wash his skanky cycling gear, including padded shorts, that he was too fat for.
8. Not walking on eggshells for fear of saying something he saw as negative or argumentative.
9. I no longer have to put up with him treating a football match like life or death.
10. His general selfish, idiotic, pathetic behaviour.
Thank god he left!!!! 😂

scoobydoo1971 Mon 06-Feb-17 18:42:17

Not having to hear all about my 'shortcomings'.
Not having to be told I need hobbies and a gym membership to be a more developed person as I juggle two jobs, sick elderly relatives, two young children who are both ill and serious personal illness.
Not having to accept a man saying the pets have to go if we live if.
Never going on a 'date' unannounced to view a vast house with estate agent that he thought could be our 'forever' family home...he told me we were going to the pub, but this was his 'special surprise'! He expected me to pay for it as he was skint.
Not getting text messages saying 'do not eat too much chocolate, you will get fat' (BMI 21 FFS).
Not having to clear up in the kitchen after Masterchef decides to gut the fish he has caught on my brand new units, using every cooking utensil in the house, causing chain saw massacre of fish inners and leaving the mess behind and blood dripping off every surface...I still haven't got rid of that smell from my nose.
Not having my stuff relocated. Breaking my vaccuum cleaner that he borrowed and denying it.
Not having to explain disappointment to children. Promising my kids all sorts when he had a few, and then 'forgetting' later.
Not putting up with him farting in bed.
Not getting dressed up for dinner and then him turning up for dates 2 hours late wanting to watch telly.
Not having to watch the cash in the house. Stealing money in the cookie jar put aside to pay a tradesman was his special skill.
Not having to be bored by him talking about how much he hates his ex every day.
Not having to be revolted by him saying he wished his youngest boy never existed as the 'crazy' ex had trapped him with a child he didnt want (in front of the boy as well).
Not having to pray he stays gone when he ghosts when I refuse to marry him and make it clear how I feel....only to reappear months later to find out if I had reconsidered his 'kind' offer to loot me silly for money...with a wedding band.
Not having to listen to him comparing my bedroom performance to others (yuck). He had a rating system out of 10.

Meeting these abusive people makes you stronger and happier in your onward life...never again!

Gileswithachainsaw Mon 06-Feb-17 18:43:15

I don't have to guess why he's quiet/pissed off any more.

I don't have to worry where the fuck he is cos he's not contacted me in days or turned up to work.

I don't have to find out shit from other people

I don't have to put up with lying

Hillfarmer Mon 06-Feb-17 18:43:21

I don't miss:

His terrible dress sense
His bad breath
His awful driving - made worse because he thought he was a good driver!
His wholly negative world view
Him castigating me for having too many friends
Him slagging off my family
Him slagging off my friends saying they didn't care about me
His terrifying temper
His blame-a-thon/ 'your fault' approach to parenting
His ludicrous paranoia and his consequent 'Health and Safety gone mad' routine in our home. If I voiced doubts about loony precautions he would accuse me of not caring about dcs.
Him making me scared of saying anything at all
His terrible musical taste - I hear you pocketsaviour - he thought he was a jazz connoisseur but mostly it was 'lift music' and he had two, count-em, two Matt Bianco albums!

JK1773 Mon 06-Feb-17 18:47:29

This is great!!! Not having to deal with the insane needy abusive in laws, doing exactly what I want when I want to, not being subject to sulking and tantrums when I want to see my friends or family, not having to cope with his rude zombie like behaviour when in the company of anyone, no more Xbox or PlayStation, no more frankly awful sex, no more grabbing at my boobs like a randy teenager, everything he did wrong being my fault, ooo I could go on and on.

rememberthetime Mon 06-Feb-17 18:58:49

Where do I start

Turning everything into a reflection on my inability to express myself properly
Stupid psychological shit designed to make you question your own thoughts
Silly facial hair
Constant guitar playing - but the same riff over and over forever
Cooking once a week and going on about how nice it was to have something decent
Never cleaning unless someone was coming over
Never doing jobs I asked him nicely to do and accusing me of being controlling for asking.
Pressing up against me while I try to cook
Sulking if I refuse sex

So pleased to be on my own

Shodan Mon 06-Feb-17 19:06:10

Ohhh, so many things....
I don't miss:
1) His loud, sloshy eating
2) The repeated stinking farting in the sitting room, every evening
3) His using the same (disposable) dental floss pick over and over, carefully rinsing it and putting it back in the cupboard (bleugh)
4) The stupid wiggle he did when he hugged me
5) The constant slapping of my bottom
6) Sports on the tv
7) The erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation which meant our sex sessions lasted a total of 7 minutes on a good day (and yes, I timed it- I was bored so I had to do something) blush
8) Never being believed when I stated a fact, and always argued with about his wrongness and my rightness grin
9) Only half doing one of the two household chores he had to do
10) His 'kicked puppy' face that he would pull when I remonstrated with him about only half doing one of his two allotted household chores...

I could go on, but you'd get bored and anyway, remembering them all gives me a happy little squiggle when I remember that I no longer have to put up with him and his habitsgrin

Lovemusic33 Mon 06-Feb-17 19:10:12

- I don't have to listen to his constant lies and unbelievable stories.
- I don't have to put up with his smelly arss.
- I don't have to wonder who he's messaging, where he's going and who he is with.
- I don't have to listen to his suicide threats that he never carried out.
- I don't have to pick his dirty skid marked boxer shorts up off the floor.
- I don't have to listen to his snoring.
- I don't have to watch top gear anymore.
- I don't have to fight him off me in bed.

WhereTheFuckIsWonderWoman Mon 06-Feb-17 19:22:30

He's a fuckwit. End of.

RainbowsAndLemonDrops Mon 06-Feb-17 19:26:17

- I don't have to argue and practically force him to have a shower!
- The mind games/controlling every move I made
- wondering where he is, when he's coming home and who he's cheating on me with this time
- the ludicrous accusations he'd come up with
- wiping his bogies on the side of his car seat and/or dashboard
- embarrassing me drunk in front of friends and family
- cutting his toe nails because at 28 he still couldn't do them on his own (his fat belly actually got in the way)

everythingis Mon 06-Feb-17 19:27:18

1. I no longer fancy him.
2. He would spend ages squeezing spots on his back then get in to bed and wonder why I didn't want sex.
3. I don't have to hear his boring repetitive anecdotes anymore.
4. Whatever the subject and how completely abstract it is he will respond with 'well obviously it's...' drove me insane.
5. His handwringing about the environment and recycling it's so fucking worthy he needs a medal.
6. His bitching constantly about his family. They are pretty nice people.
7. His friends. Can't think of a single thing I miss about the boring sexist thugs and I've never sought any contact with them! He harangues mine.
8. I don't miss slightly panicking at every social gathering that he would embarrass me somehow or have to make everything about him.
9. Constant atmospheres and gas lighting.
10. Having to pretend that his opinion on parenting is valid or important.

everythingis Mon 06-Feb-17 19:28:26

I don't have to watch a man in his 49's mash weetabix in to soup like a fucking toddler.

everythingis Mon 06-Feb-17 19:30:41

Not panicking everything he touched anything of value that I can't afford to replace on the premise of helping

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