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Help - crush on much younger person - please tell me to grow up / get a life / stop being weird!

(15 Posts)
scaredoffallout Mon 06-Feb-17 16:51:45

Have a kind of crush on someone at work who is A LOT younger than me (I am 48 though may look younger(not THAT much younger!), he is, I am guessing, somewhere in his 20s - maybe between 25 and 28?blush??).

What is the matter with me, and can someone please pass me a bucket of ice cold water to bury my head in.

Have been reminding myself that I could be his mother. Feel vaguely nuts and inappropriate. When my 15 year old ds gets to 20 whatever, I don't want some 40 something year old lusting (let's be honest) after him (though I would understand because he IS gorgeous grin)!!

Please don't anyone tell me that it's a perimenopausal surge of something or other because I don't want to be reminded!!

scaredoffallout Mon 06-Feb-17 17:31:50

Okay, I'm ridiculous. Point taken grinblush.

Chasingsquirrels Mon 06-Feb-17 17:36:34

He's not teens, or even v young twenties.
Yes, if my ds (at mid-twenties) was seeing a 48yo I'd probably not be very happy.
I'm 44, and I'm not sure I'd want a mid-twenties man - but then DH is 14 years older than me, no reason why it shouldn't work both ways!

Do you feel any reciprocation? If not it's all irrelevant anyway!

scaredoffallout Mon 06-Feb-17 20:07:07

I think it's that he's uncomplicatedly kind and friendly (and gorgeous grin) with a lovely smile - just that.

I am coming to the end of a difficult marriage (but very scared to instigate what will be a traumatic divorce), and ache for some affection, kindness and interest.

He is very young (a child in a way) and it's nothing - just a pointer towards how I feel in general IMO.

Chasingsquirrels Mon 06-Feb-17 20:10:02

Ah, you aren't single. Please stay well away from him, and anyone else, until you have sorted your own life.

Whathaveilost Mon 06-Feb-17 20:10:11

I'm 52 this year and I have a huge crush on a guy that is in his late 20s
DH and DS' really take the mick out of me which makes it worse!

BrownEyedLady Mon 06-Feb-17 21:53:36

Nothing wrong with a workplace crush - it can make the day a bit more exciting. Would advise you to definitely NOT act on it though...

Dadaist Mon 06-Feb-17 22:06:17

Oh for goodness sake! I was with you until 'I may look younger' ! What - like 40? He's in his twenties! You're 48! Even if you were Pamela Anderson or Elizabeth Hurley - we'd be saying ...eww!? And yes - even if you were Hugh Grant at 50 we'd be like - er.. she's 28 bro!
I'm sure he'll enjoy the attention, and you might get to mother him when he had a relationship break up if you're lucky!
OP - it's ok! You're coming out of a long term relationship, and it's setting off emotions you've probably suppressed for a long time. But maybe best to pass over in silence? I've just seen THE most. beautiful. creature. - in a London pub, maybe 22? I'm 50! So I just felt nostalgic for a while - the end! I didn't post it on mumsnet - and can you imagine if I had!

scaredoffallout Mon 06-Feb-17 22:29:37

Okay okay - by look younger I mean maybe 45! I am under no illusions. I was just surprised that I could even have feelings like that for someone who is so much younger. Surprised and embarrassed. Which is why I checked. So that I could get a reality check.

No need to go for the jugular grin!! If you knew me you would know that I am extremely shy when it comes to men in any case, so there is no chance of my making a fool of myself either. I would also feel inappropriate (as I said in my OP) and "eww".

I am sad for me though. Not because of a passing attraction to someone much younger, but because it feels as if my emotional/sentimental life is over.

Of course he wouldn't be attracted to me! He's not brain dead!

I have learned something about myself though - that I thought I was okay feeling completely emotionally numb, but I'm not.

scaredoffallout Mon 06-Feb-17 22:31:49

And now I feel a bit like a perv blushsad. An old and pathetic one.

blueshoes Mon 06-Feb-17 22:59:17

Erm, quite apart from the age, he IS your work colleague. Not crapping in your backyard and all that. You don't want the office gossip and serious loss of credibility.

As for your feelings, it is a crush. Enjoy it for what it is but it is not for acting on. Don't even think of going there. It did not work out, even for Kylie. What hope is there for us mortals?

scaredoffallout Mon 06-Feb-17 23:21:19

So I just felt nostalgic for a while - the end! I didn't post it on mumsnet - and can you imagine if I had!

Isn't that partly what mumsnet is for though - to air feelings anonymously that you can't in real life and then have them plastered all over the Daily Mail?

Enjoy it for what it is but it is not for acting on. Don't even think of going there.

There is zero chance of this happening. For lots of reasons. Even if I were to want to go there confused, which I don't (nor would I know how to), why would someone young enough to be my child be interested?
Biology and life stages exist for a reason.

Anyway, crush well and truly killed off - in one day - which is a good thing.

Whathaveilost Mon 06-Feb-17 23:31:15

Just roll with it!
Enjoy it from a distance. Just don't do anything and let it lighten your day!

Dadaist Mon 06-Feb-17 23:54:04

Hey scaredofallout - I was only teasing ; ) Please don't think I'm flaming you - you did ask for a wake up!
Actually- I think it's really good that you are discovering (rediscovering) the promise of attraction, desire, hunger and longing which - as I said - you may have been suppressing. Now you just need to point it at someone big enough to handle you - cos your young lover boy wouldn't stand a chance really would he? : )

Verypersonalandcleverusername Tue 07-Feb-17 04:25:13

I have a huge crush on someone 22 years younger at work. He calls me wifey and tells me I'm beautiful. I can only imagine he's practicing flirting with me and I'm throughly enjoying myself. When a gorgeous young man winks at you and gives you a hug it's completely irresistible.

I would bet money that nothing will ever come from it and it's all surface play but why not just flirt and have fun? Won't do your ego any harm.

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