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I don't feel the same for my new babies dad...

(18 Posts)
Lisafoster17 Mon 06-Feb-17 01:06:36

I'll tell you the whole story.
I was in a 6 year relationship with my ex boyfriend engaged, we sadly grew apart and wanted different things. I started seeing another man not long after he's 7 years older than me. I'm 23.
It started out great as new relationships do. After just 3 months I ended up pregnant, after big decision we decided to keep the baby. (I'm so glad we did he is my world!) we moved into a house when I was 20 weeks pregnant so only knew him 5 months before we moved in together. Since we moved in he's never been very intimate I put it down to me being pregnant which I don't mind as didn't fancy anything like that haha. Anyway I had my beautiful baby, he's now 4 months old 😍
Too the point of this haha, if looses his temper a lot and had a massive go at me banging screaming in front of our baby about dinner once. Ever since then I've felt distant from him, he kind of scares me. We argue over petty things, he sleeps all day as he works nights, i hardly see him. He spends a lot of time when he's not working on his computer or phone. He told me that he doesn't like sex and that he likes it to begin with but gets bored easily so we haven't slept together since we conceived our son. I would really like us to be intimate but he uses every excuse and it really puts me down, he doesn't seem interested in me. If I mention anything he kicks off, I've started to feel like I don't need him now I literally do everything for me our son and him. he pays for the bills and I pay for food and work and look after the baby and house. I really don't know how to feel about him now, I seriously need help....

Cricrichan Mon 06-Feb-17 01:10:16

I think you need to leave him. He doesn't love you or want you and you have to walk on eggshells around him. You'd have a much nicer life without him!

understandnothing Mon 06-Feb-17 01:13:40

You can leave this relationship, you don't need permission. He sounds horrible and scaring you and your baby is definitely not okay.

Will you be safe if you tell him its over? Mnetters can give advice on how to leave safely.

ExplodedCloud Mon 06-Feb-17 01:13:51

Your relationship is done sad After 20 weeks you moved in together and tried to be a couple. It hasn't worked. Don't feel bad. If you hadn't ended up pregnant it would have come to a natural end.
Do you have somewhere you could go? Can you look for a new place to live?

Lisafoster17 Mon 06-Feb-17 01:16:17

He would never hurt either of us x

ExplodedCloud Mon 06-Feb-17 01:16:23

And yes he's not behaving well. You can't expect him to become Mr Perfect. He doesn't want to.

Lisafoster17 Mon 06-Feb-17 01:17:18

My parents own our house so I get to keep the house. Is there no way of keeping it? He doesn't think there is anything wrong

Lisafoster17 Mon 06-Feb-17 01:19:25

And is it bad the intimacy thing annoys me the most? It feels like we just love together

YouHadMeAtCake Mon 06-Feb-17 01:20:09

Please please leave him for yours and your DS sake OP. You say he scares you and he loses his temper. He could very well hurt either or both of you . If you didn't think that you wouldn't be scared of him. Get out of this relationship that offers you and DS nothing.

Lisafoster17 Mon 06-Feb-17 01:25:00

His mum even bitches about him with him, I feel awful feeling this way when he thinks nothing is wrong. Breaking up the family. It's been ok for A couple of weeks, but we had an argument over a radiator. And it winds me up.

YouHadMeAtCake Mon 06-Feb-17 01:31:33

How does he think nothing is wrong? No intimacy ? Works shifts then is on computer or his phone ?! He sounds like a cocklodger. Your parents own the house, do they charge rent?

ExplodedCloud Mon 06-Feb-17 01:38:33

Your parents own the house? Is he on any contract? If not, he needs to be told to pack up and move out. If he's reasonable then give him a week on the sofa. If he kicks off then bin bags outside the door tomorrow at 5pm and get on to the CSA.

TENSHI Mon 06-Feb-17 01:43:06

Tell your parents and get rid of him!

Just think, your son will watch this awful man and think this is how boys/men should behave!

He is damaging your son and has already emotionally damaged you.

Please get him out of your home asap!

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Mon 06-Feb-17 01:51:57

Get the loser out of your life OP. You are so young, you don't need a jerk like him.

AcrossthePond55 Mon 06-Feb-17 02:00:58

Think very carefully. You are getting nothing out of this relationship. He isn't supportive. He doesn't want sex. He doesn't appreciate what you do. He really doesn't even talk to you except to criticize you. You cook for him, clean for him, and take care of his child. And all you get for this is the sharp side of his temper. You'd be much better off alone.

SheFeedsYouTeaAndOranges Mon 06-Feb-17 03:01:48

In the nicest possible way, you are not a family. You are both living with the consequences of unprotected sex with someone you barely knew.

This isn't a relationship. He's there because he's got a house provided for him. He doesn't love you. He doesn't fancy you. He doesn't sound like he even likes you particularly. He doesn't talk to you. He doesn't run the house with you... I strongly suspect you'd have already split up if it weren't for the baby.

I'd kick him out and get on with your life with your baby.

Lisafoster17 Mon 06-Feb-17 07:49:18

I also think we would not be together if we didn't have the baby. We just rent it off them no contract. My mum always said anything happened it'll always be my house. He always says he loves me etc. We don't sleep together anyway cause he works nights so can't throw him on the sofa. He tries to buy my love but anything he does annoys me, I feel so awful about it all.

Kione Mon 06-Feb-17 07:54:24

Finish it now before it all gets nastier. As someone said, you have a wonderful life ahead without him and the support of your parents.

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