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Can you give me your opinions on this situation that happened when I was 11yo?

(15 Posts)
opoidbloker Mon 06-Feb-17 00:07:41

Went on a trip away to a campsite with my parents and a school friend. We had to take a bus to get there and waited at the bus stop. When we got on the bus there were only seats free next to other people, so we could not sit together.

My parents placed my friend and I next to a stranger each and then went to sit next to strangers themselves. I was sat next to a man who was about 50yo.

About 30 minutes into the trip, there appeared to be something wrong with him. He was talking to himself and he began to lean on me. After talking to himself for about 10 minutes he started shouted very loudly. Gobbledegook and lots of swear words. Fucking this and fucking that. He leant on me so hard, I was pushed into the bus window. My parents could see this as they were behind us and I was the furthest forward.

He was eventually completely leaning on me, his head hard on my chest, and I was pressed up against the window. All in the view of my parents who didn't do anything.

Then he started to vomit. First of all on to my lap, then when he sat up, over the seats we were in, then into the aisle of the bus. I sat up in my chair and turned around to face the back and was crying at this point, because I wanted my parents to come and get me. They looked at me sympathetically, but didn't do anything, and basically implied that I had to finish the journey where I was.

My school friend, started crying in sympathy and trying to get over to me, and I could see her very worried about me. I eventually curled up in a ball right by the window and waited out the 4 hour journey while he shouted, vomited and passed out on to me.

Looking back, it was a tramp who may have had some mental health problems, and was evidently drunk.

Now I've grown up and had children myself, I would never leave them in this kind of situation. I would have sat by the man myself, and sent my child to go and sit next to the person I was sitting next to. Or just have got off the bus and waited for another one.

Am I being precious or is this what you would have done as well?

WussyWat Mon 06-Feb-17 00:12:08

That is fucking terrible. I would have moved you, gotten everyone off the bus, found somewhere to clean you up and got another bus. I can't imagine in what planet I would leave my child in that situation, ever.

I'm sorry you had to go through that sad how frightened you just have been. How is your relationship with your parents now?

peaceloveandbiscuits Mon 06-Feb-17 00:12:45

Of course that's what I'd have done. I'd never have left a child to be vomited on, I'd have sat you on my lap if there was no other seat. Bloody hell, you poor thing flowers

peaceloveandbiscuits Mon 06-Feb-17 00:13:50

Also shocked no one else stepped in to help you! Even if you weren't mine I think I would try to sort you out if your parents clearly weren't going to.

opoidbloker Mon 06-Feb-17 00:15:57

Well my relationship with my parents is not great. Lots of incidents like this happened all through my childhood, but I only just remembered this one. We never talked about it either, we just got off the bus and went on to the campsite, and my mum washed my trousers from the sick and that was that.

You see, stuff like this is not as traumatising as people being sexually or physically abused, but I actually found this and the other situations like it, quite traumatising.

YouHadMeAtCake Mon 06-Feb-17 00:17:34

Oh OP that's awful, I'm sorry you went through that. Wtf were your parents thinking just letting it happen?! They should never have sat together leaving your DNA your friend next to strangers either. What were they like then and now? Have you ever spoken to them about it as an adult? No way is that normal or acceptable.

YouHadMeAtCake Mon 06-Feb-17 00:17:58

Oopss sorry x post

peaceloveandbiscuits Mon 06-Feb-17 00:18:16

Trauma is relative. There is no hierarchy of "not as traumatic as xyz", all that matters is how it affected you. If you have blocked this memory out you must have found it very difficult indeed, unsurprisingly so.

RJnomore1 Mon 06-Feb-17 00:19:01

Oh my goodness that's awful. Of course it was traumatic. It's neglect at the very least flowers

Alphabetsy Wed 08-Feb-17 11:33:07

That must have been incredibly distressing. It would be bad enough going through this as an adult, let alone as a child. Your parents should have stepped in straight away. I am sorry you had to go through this and other things.

PoisonousSmurf Wed 08-Feb-17 11:38:35

Seems strange that the bus driver didn't at least stop the bus and try and clean things up? How come no one else complained? Four hour journey on a (I would think), hot bus with sick!?
Amazed that no one else threw up. I would have been gagging. And yes, your parents sound like they were very anti confrontational.
Sorry you had such a horrid experience flowers

LeopardPrintSocks1 Wed 08-Feb-17 11:45:40

Do you have a sick phobia now?

I'm so sorry what an awful situation for such a small child to go through. Your parents sound very uncaring to say the least.

VanellopeVonSchweetz99 Wed 08-Feb-17 11:50:14

Uncaring? Anti confrontational?
I'm sorry but they sound like fucking idiots.
So sorry OP.

Andywho Thu 09-Feb-17 00:46:50

OMG, not sure how old you are but in the 70s I had a teacher who pulled our trousers down to spank us infant of the class. Telling my parents resulted in nothing. These days if anyone would cause may daughter any such distress they would go missing. Different times.

DanielCraigsUnderpants Thu 09-Feb-17 11:24:00

Your parents and every adult on that bus let you down. I'm sorry that happened to you

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