I've posted before on this, although I think I was at the stage of being 'weaned off' then.
I had 1 or 2 helpful responses, however it's because I didn't disclose in OP that my friend is male. People said it was relevant and I felt it wasn't. He lives with his male fiance, and so no romantic ties or possibility of it at all!
I took the advice I did get, and spoke to him about it, however he has ignored me.
I feel heartbroken. He's my closest friend, and I'm not sure what I've done. We've been friends for years, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I know it may seem silly, though I feel like I would if a LTR had just finished.
I don't know how I feel this way, I'm a fully grown woman, with a DH and DC etc.
How do I deal with it? Any advice?
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Relationships
How to deal with being dropped by a friend?
SouthernNorthernGirl · 05/02/2017 23:25
Rejection is tough, regardless how old you are. Losing a friend is one of the most painful losses.
You just have to go through the loss - grief, really. It's not easy but you have no choice.
I'm sorry you're going through this very painful loss. It won't help you if you call yourself 'silly'. It's not silly to be heartbroken 
springydaffs Thank you. I think it's just because it all feels a bit 'school like' that I meant silly. I strongly expect I've been replaced too, though confused as to why it should make a difference to 'our' friendship.
Myheart I spoke with them at the end of last week. I'd been trying to meet up, with no luck. I messaged in the end and asked if we were OK, and if not how so? I did strongly put across that it came out of a place of missing our closeness etc. I tried months ago too, to no avail. I've been rapidly dropped more since then,
You Sorry you are going through this too
I'm so sorry OP
Okay I can give you the perspective of someone who "broke up with" an old friend?
I don't want to give you the reasons why, as they're too revealing, but she changed her life and did a lot of things that I really hated. Not that i get a say in how she lives her life, or be all superior - that's not what I was doing - but I do get to choose who I'm friends with. Every time I saw her I felt uncomfortable and left feeling depressed. She tried to keep the friendship going, she kept trying to make plans and kept messaging to say she missed me. I felt terrible so I arranged to see her for drinks to tell her that I thought we were growing apart. I felt like I had to do that rather than "gradually disengage", like I'd been trying to do (which I thought would be less embarrassing for both of us. Obviously me the most).
I felt really nervous and it didn't go well. It was awful, so uncomfortable. But she deserved to know. I'm not sure what was worse though, telling her or not telling her!
So your friend may be trying to spare himself and you the embarrassment of that conversation?
I don't know. There's no right way. Losing a friend is hard and sad.
Do you have any idea why he's decided not to be friends anymore? In my case, I think my friend could easily guess why (I tactically said that we just didn't have anything in common anymore). In yours, it doesn't sound like it - so perhaps it's his issues?
Thinking I don't think so, they have been together a while now. I don't think he has a problem with me.
Herewego Thank you for giving the opinion of the other side of this. I can't think of anything that has gone wrong at all though, that's the thing.
Donkeys We get on fine, we we do see each other. They have sometimes come to ours together, for game nights / dinner, although not often. I think his DF prefers his own company to anyone else's really. I do suspect I have been replaced, although I cant see why.
springy I think you're right, I may very well never know. It's the dusting myself off that I'm struggling with 
I think I'm going through this at the moment too. No, I don't think - I know I am.
It's hard to hear it from the other perspective herewego I want my friend to be happy, I'd like to be around to see it... But, if I was making them unhappy, then I'd take a look at myself see if there was a valid point and I'd respect it. At least I'd know why. I think it was brave thing to do and the right thing.
It's hard to breathe sometimes, honestly. I miss it that much.
It's grief, I just have to ride it out. It really does suck. I feel for you OP
Grief is definitely the right word, I have over the last year been distant from a long time friend, not on my part, but on hers. I dont fully understand why, although if I did I don't think it would be any different, I'd still be hurting. It's awful, I feel like I've been bereaved, we've had so many fun times and gone through a lot together. You are not alone op, it's an awful empty feeling.
I'm sorry to everyone else who is going through it too. It's awful, and not something widely spoken about, unlike divorce / separation / no contact with family etc
It's rather hard to know what to do, and I can't stand feeling this way really. I feel like I need Kalms or something to help the wrenching feeling
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