I was with him for 7 and a half years and for the duration of the relationship I always felt loved. I could see it when he looked at me ..he gave me everything I asked for..even things I wanted that I didn't ask for. He used to write me love poems with my breakfast and every card he gave me was hand drawn and beautiful (made me cry so many times). They are now in two big wooden glass frames and look incredible. He took me on spontanious holidays (Paris in Dec 16) and knew me inside and out. Hes gorgeous, body to die for, strong, intelligent, sensitive and caring.
He was my first ever love and it felt so amazing for 7 years having those feelings mirrored back to me.
But ... there is always one right ... he was a strict vegetarian (his water has to say suitable for vegetarians otherwise he won't touch it ) and he did not like to be disagreed with. This meant..no meals out..no takeaways...no going out for a drink (he drinks no alcohol) no socialising with my friends or his..no clubbing ..no going out for a coffee etc etc. He would say to me that he would only say something if he knew he was right. So I was always arguing with him because i never accepted what he was saying. That made me the idiot.
I'm a strong minded person who can't just accept something that doesn't makes sense..especially if I believe im right. We argued quite a lot..over stupid things..once over a fly ..another over spilt popcorn ..literally spilt..popcorn.. because I'm saying it's no big deal and he's saying I'm selfish.
Anyway he decided when we were in dubai to tell me that he doesn't want kids...but if he had them he wants them to be with me. .. also he doesn't want to get married because that what old people do.
But my issue was that with all this going on... he did nothing adult in our lives together. By that I mean... didnt manage the bills..didnt cook..didnt go shopping and tidy up or clean anything. He didn't drive and got mad at me when I slept instead of picking him up from the train stain 0.6 miles away at 10:40pm when I had to be up for work at 5:30am.
He would go back to his parents house from a Friday to a Monday and his mom would cook, clean up after him wash his clothes and buy his food (he's 32 now). I have spoken to him multiple times about helping me .. but he is happy to eat cereal three times a day out of one cup.
He brings food from his moms house back to ours ..that bugs me.
The straw that broke the camels back was buying a house ...he was happy to search online for the house and give me cash for a deposit and rent (although he didn't pay rent or bills consistently when we lived together ..he just told me to take it..again clearing him of responsibility) but he said he doesn't want to be part of the mortgage application because....he doesn't like doing those kinds of things...I went alone. Everything alone.
He does nothing adult in his life but go to work and that's only 6 hours a week as he is self employed..he doesn't like people telling him what to do.
So long story short .... despite how much we said we loved each other .. it wasn't enough for me because he didn't want to take responsibility for any of the things that adult life brings. I have been doing it all alone for the past 7 years. And despite all of this... I still love him massively and can't imagine not knowing him. But I had to leave love and being loved because he did not grow with me and isn't adult enough.
So it's true .. love doesn't cure everything..That's not what you strive for in a long term relationship. The most important thing, for me anyway is that the person can drive, manage finances , cook, clean and not be reliant on his mother to do his washing and make his dinner every night. Someone who I can trust to support me in life and to make me feel safe and secure..someone to share my adult difficulties with and not do everything alone ... you don't need love for that.
It's heartbreaking...especially as Disney has always taught me that love conquers all. (I'm 27)
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Relationships
I chose to leave the man I have loved for 7 years becuase he hasn't grown with me
IloveDisney89 · 05/02/2017 17:28
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