My partner called me a horrible person and a cunt within earshot of our DD while we were arguing this evening and I'm struggling to find this acceptable.
He had been out all day, drinking with a friend, had come home drunk and I was short with him because I was tired after a long day of potty-training our DD and a poor night's sleep.
I asked him how his day was, wanted to hear about his friend, etc, but I was irritable because he was stumbling about with (loud) hiccups (I tried to help him, albeit curtly, by showing him how to drink water backwards), and I didn't want our DD to be disturbed while she was going off to sleep.
He then became annoyed, saying I was making him feel bad for going out for the day, at which point I tried to apologise. He shook me off and then started shouting that I am a horrible person. I left the room because I wanted the shouting to stop, as our DD could hear.
He followed me upstairs and continued to shout, calling me a 'cunt' and 'a fucking cunt'. Again, within earshot of daughter who was still awake.
I asked him to stop and not call me that, especially as DD could hear, but he carried on ranting that I am a 'cunt' because I don't allow him to go out and have fun.
The thing is, we've been arguing now for four years (since I became pregnant with DD). We've gone through a lot - his ex-wife has caused a lot of problems, claiming he has neglected their daughter (he hasn't), said 12 year old daughter now refuses to visit our home (the reasons for which have not been established), both my mother and sister died two years ago, and I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks in 2015, which affected me deeply.
During this time I've been tired, snappy, angry, etc, and, yes, probably pretty unbearable, but I am not a nasty person. I have suffered from depression on and off for the last four years, but I have received therapy and I'm now better.
However, my partner has said some horrible things, which I find hard to forgive or forget - he blames me for his daughter not visiting, he said my depression was self-indulgent and did not want to get involved, and has been very verbally abusive.
I've suggested couples therapy but he says he doesn't have the time.
He does, however, work very hard, endures a horrible commute, and financially supports us as, for now, I'm a SAHM.
The thing is, we're due to get married in two months and I'm not sure I can marry a man who calls me a cunt, especially within earshot of our DD.
If you've managed to read to the end of this long and waffly post, then thank you, and I'd appreciate any feedback.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Is it OK to call me a cunt?
AnnaBee1 · 05/02/2017 05:30
Do not marry him.
Nothing about this is okay. He is verbally abusive and neither you nor your daughter should have to live like this.
Btw, I'm not surprised his other child does not want to visit.
Please get some professional help.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Why do you even have to ask?!
Of course it's not OK for him to call you a cunt 
He is verbally and emotionally abusive.
Please read these links:
Signs of emotional abuse
The abuser profiles
And please, please call Women's Aid on 0808 2000 247.
You need support. I'm sorry you lost your mum and sister, that must have been hard. Do you have any other family you're close to - what about your dad?
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.