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Bf has secretly ordered HIV test kit

(200 Posts)
boredofthisnow16 Sat 04-Feb-17 15:30:09

Please help me, I apologise for any typos as this is going to be rushed.

I am visiting my bf of two months and be is currently at work,I'm at his house and went to go on my emails (he doesn't mind this leaves his laptop on for me to use). His hotmail account was still logged in and rightly or wrongly, I snooped.

Just over a week ago he ordered an at home hiv test that you do and send off. Wtf.. I don't know what to think? I can't exactly confront as he will know I snooped. He is putting my health at risk though if he truly thinks he might have it.. He is due home in 30 mins I need to think and act fast

tommytippedup Sat 04-Feb-17 15:32:29

I dont understand what the problem is?

boredofthisnow16 Sat 04-Feb-17 15:33:11

He suspects he may have it yet has not told me has had unprotected sex with me

boredofthisnow16 Sat 04-Feb-17 15:35:06

And has had*

SleepingTiger Sat 04-Feb-17 15:35:59

Seems pretty clear to me.

You have hit it in a nutshell in your opening post. That is such a serious matter that I would question his character and end it. Now.

tommytippedup Sat 04-Feb-17 15:36:10

Buy some condoms and get yourself tested then.

People normally use condoms until both partners have been tested. hmm

Maudlinmaud Sat 04-Feb-17 15:36:28

Unprotected sex? Are you mad?

boredofthisnow16 Sat 04-Feb-17 15:37:30

Well I'm on the pill so not totally but yes.

tommytippedup Sat 04-Feb-17 15:37:32

Perhaps he is worried that he has got it from you. Since you've been having unprotected sex...

gamerchick Sat 04-Feb-17 15:37:55

Well you don't know its for him.

Tbh it's done now, id be asking. You can always say he'd left himself logged in and it caught your eye.

boredofthisnow16 Sat 04-Feb-17 15:39:00

Tommy please get off the post

gamerchick Sat 04-Feb-17 15:39:31

Yeah the safe rule of thumb these days is to both be screened for infections before ditching the condoms. Just keeps you safer.

boredofthisnow16 Sat 04-Feb-17 15:39:31

True gamer, I might do that

SleepingTiger Sat 04-Feb-17 15:40:01

You go to a clinic and both get tested for STIs.

There is something obviously wrong with ordering a home HIV kit.

PaterPower Sat 04-Feb-17 15:44:20

It's just good sense to both get yourselves tested - but go and do it at a clinic where you know the results will be accurate.

As for whether he's got this for himself because he's cheated or otherwise worried then yes, you need to ask him. Has he slept with you since ordering the kit?

HelsBels5000 Sat 04-Feb-17 15:45:54

Its not very secret if he knows that you use his laptop though? [hmm}

HecateAntaia Sat 04-Feb-17 15:49:43

Never have sex with someone without using a condom until you have both had clear std tests.
I agree with pp that you need to get tested, as does he.
When you each wave your clear results at each other, that's the time the pill is all you need.

NarkyMcDinkyChops Sat 04-Feb-17 15:50:47

If you've had unprotected sex with a boyfriend of two months without any testing, its you that has put yourself at risk. Are you mad?
Take responsibility for yourself!

MoreThanUs Sat 04-Feb-17 15:50:53

Unprotected sex with someone you've known for 8 weeks is crazy. You need to look after your sexual health better.
If you don't feel able to speak to him about it, dump him.

Phoebefromfriends Sat 04-Feb-17 16:01:01

Aside from the lack of testing before dumping the condoms, I would ask him outright. If you've been together 8 weeks he must suspect he's got it from someone else as they recommend testing 3 months after exposure.

Its very sneaky to order it online instead of going to a clinic.

Deep breaths and just ask him, this is a massive red flag and for me would be the end as you have to have honesty in a relationship.

Phoebefromfriends Sat 04-Feb-17 16:01:34

Obviously get tested for everything at the earliest opportunity.

ImperialBlether Sat 04-Feb-17 16:05:19

If he's put you at risk, that's unforgivable. I can't see why he wouldn't go to a clinic, though.

NarkyMcDinkyChops Sat 04-Feb-17 16:06:00

She's put herself at risk.

NC1nightstand Sat 04-Feb-17 16:17:21

I didn't even realise you could get home testing kits for HIV!
It seems crazy to me, the counselling you get when you get tested at a clinic is very important.
It's damage limitation time I think OP.
It's very worrying that he has concerns but hasn't talked to you but has still been happy to have unprotected sex with you.
Put yourself first, Get tested as soon as possible. I wouldn't sleep with him again, condom or not. He is either very dodgy or very childish if he can have sex but not talk about it.

specialsubject Sat 04-Feb-17 16:20:44

Home test may be all that is available without a long wait - outside London sexual health clinics are being massively cut back. These tests do come from the NHS.

Takes two not to use a condom.

Hope all turns out OK.

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