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How to deal with cheating?

(8 Posts)
Strawberries5 Fri 03-Feb-17 10:53:40

I've posted previously when I found out DP was cheating. (I'm pregnant, we had plans for the future etc..)

At the time because I was so emotional I didn't want to speak through any details with him. Now I still feel completely terrible but feel like I want to talk to him about it, for closure.

I think he still thinks he's 'gotten away with it' by writing it off as my paranoia. (As he has been doing for several months, sending me on guilt trips, making me feel awful for having suspicions which were completely correct!)

Ilovecaindingle Fri 03-Feb-17 10:55:35

Are you still together?

Strawberries5 Fri 03-Feb-17 10:58:11

Posted too soon!

So does anyone have any ideas on how to handle this?

I still feel like I need answers. Just why, mainly. It's so hard for me to come to terms with because I know he's an utter bastard but I miss all the good parts and I genuinely can't fathom why he would cheat. I'm scared he will just continue to deny it even when I tell him how much I know. I feel like I could come to terms with it much better if we had that conversation. I think the baby makes that so much more important to me.

He's been trying to contact/meet up since we had the argument before. I've never brushed him off before so he knows this is different and to be honest I'm still scared of him giving up and proving how little I meant to him all along, and that he could move on and forget about me and our baby while out sleeping with other women.

Sorry if this turned a bit rambley at the end! flowers

Strawberries5 Fri 03-Feb-17 11:00:06

I dont know, I wasn't ready to talk about the state of our relationship once I found out about the cheating so it honestly hasn't been discussed sad I suppose to me once I found out about the cheating it felt like it had been a fake relationship anyway.

SheFeedsYouTeaAndOranges Fri 03-Feb-17 11:02:24

See all that aggro it's causing you?

Walk away from it. Why would you put yourself through all of this for someone who has so little consideration or respect for you?

Adora10 Fri 03-Feb-17 11:37:56

His actions are telling you he couldn't care less, I suggest you give him the same response, he's not worth it.

TheTantrumCometh Fri 03-Feb-17 13:18:42

Walk away. Everyone (if not the vast majority) who have walked away from a relationship had future plans for that relationship. By staying together it doesn't make those plans and goals and dreams happen. He's cheated and then guilt tripped you about it and neither of you have discussed where the relationship is now. The future you had planned before you found out was based on a different set of circumstances.

isseywithcats Fri 03-Feb-17 18:21:49

walk away he will never tell you all of the truth because that will just show you how bad he really is and how little he regards you, i threw my ex out after i found out the third time he had been cheating first two times he said wouldnt do it again and did the third time i just blew, threw him and his possesions out of the house, he never did tell me anything about why he cheated or with who, which made me wonder where i had gone wrong , (i probably did nothing wrong) went through hell emotionally and financially, but now six years later i am with someone who respects me, treats me right and wouldnt cheat as by date 3 and we discussed exclusivity he said i always do exclusive

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