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opinions please

(24 Posts)
dublingirl48653 Thu 02-Feb-17 22:45:57

help me make my mind up

with my OH for 5 months
started off rocky - he went on dates while he led me to believe we were in a relationship - forgave him and thought that maybe I got wrong end of stick

had lots of good times together

however -

he tried to meet an ex at xmas while I was away
has sent very inappropriate messages to a girl 18 years younger than him
got angry one night and tore the duvet off the bed -flung on floor

and at the weekend - slagged off my cooking and the way in which I had been cleaning the house
I started to pack my bag - he begged me to stay

opinions please

Somerville Thu 02-Feb-17 22:46:48

Do you really have to ask, love?

oleoleoleole Thu 02-Feb-17 22:47:59


dublingirl48653 Thu 02-Feb-17 22:49:47

I have spoke to friends

I know what I want

i guess I just needed to put it all down in writing and hear what others think

one of the above could be reason enough to leave
sad sad times
why did i put up with it all

sooperdooper Thu 02-Feb-17 22:50:02

After 5 months it shouldn't be this much stress, ditch him

ImperialBlether Thu 02-Feb-17 22:50:45

He's bloody horrible. You deserve so much better than this prick.

dublingirl48653 Thu 02-Feb-17 22:51:35

have been a nervous wreck in work
worrying he is texting other girls
hideous really

why do some of us put up with this?
the ripping the duvet off the bed was bad - he was super sweat that night so I said nothing !!!!

Checkthisout Thu 02-Feb-17 22:52:25

For every dickhead guy, there's 5 decent ones out there, don't waste your time with him.

5 months, you should still be in the honeymoon period

dublingirl48653 Thu 02-Feb-17 22:52:59


but i thought he may change and be nicer or more caring

iamapixiebutnotaniceone Thu 02-Feb-17 22:53:45

5months? shock please don't put up with any of that!

Somerville Thu 02-Feb-17 22:55:15

He won't change. Well not for the better. He might get (even) worse when he's confident that you'll stay with him anyway.

dublingirl48653 Thu 02-Feb-17 22:56:49

so true

thank you guys

he is a nice guy
wil call him later

eye opener
now I see why his ex had to call the police and change the locks

jobanana Thu 02-Feb-17 23:00:11

erm, that's a bad sign ... and that he actually told you that is even worse ...

Thank your lucky stars you've only wasted 5 months on it and haven't got a kid together. Hot foot it in the other direction as fast as you can.

dublingirl48653 Thu 02-Feb-17 23:01:31

the messages to the much younger girl almost tore me to shreds - in one message her heating had broke and he asked her over to his place for a bath


she sent a pic one night of her wearing a very revealing dress - he showed it to me and asked me what I thought of her !!! who does that

apparently she had a crush on him and he was trying to let her down easily

dublingirl48653 Thu 02-Mar-17 23:21:07

so - im an idiot
no doubt about it

took him back

now four weeks later find out he slept with a girl in the first week when we had officially got into a relationship

what is wrong with me

now blocked and will never see him again but what was i thinking

dublingirl48653 Fri 03-Mar-17 00:11:54

Hang my head in shame

HumpMeBogart Fri 03-Mar-17 01:05:11

But you'll never take him back again - and that's something to be proud of. You made a mistake that's all. Move on and don't give this knobgoblin any more space in your mind flowers

Adora10 Fri 03-Mar-17 11:44:28

Ok you've learned the hard way; do not accept shit treatment from anyone, even if it's Brad Pitt; your self esteem and self worth trump any man; he' s not a man anyway; just a sneaking immature cheat.

You won't make this mistake again at least.

Joysmum Fri 03-Mar-17 11:46:44

I hope you've leaned your lesson. When someone treats you like shit, you have to think how to deal with things and not let feeling cloud your judgement.

hellsbellsmelons Fri 03-Mar-17 12:41:36

The fact you have to ask is worrying.
What is your background?
Do you usually put up with shite from men?
You might want to look at why.
Counselling maybe?

PoorYorick Fri 03-Mar-17 12:45:36

he is a nice guy

I hate to think what you think dickhead guys are.

AnyFucker Fri 03-Mar-17 12:46:01

Oh dear

I suggest you get an std test. And look into The Freedom Programme. It seems your bar is set so low the chances are high you will walk straight into another relationship and get treated like dirt. Abusive men have radars for women prepared to tolerate such shitty treatment.

dublingirl48653 Sun 05-Mar-17 18:09:01

i have been a fool

i thought i was able to value myself

clearly not

dublingirl48653 Fri 24-Mar-17 20:36:28

thank you guys for the advice

been a clown
believed he was better than this

single like is easier - at least I have peace of mind

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