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Anyone had a trial separation? Did it help?

(6 Posts)
TarkaLiotta Thu 02-Feb-17 10:56:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuiteLikely5 Thu 02-Feb-17 11:08:38

I think trial separations are a good thing. They allow both parties to assess the situation in isolation of each other.

Six months is a very long separation though! The signs aren't looking good - you don't miss him - he will always be an alcoholic - you have been carrying his emotions around - life is much better without all of that nonsense!

TarkaLiotta Thu 02-Feb-17 11:29:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kr1stina Thu 02-Feb-17 11:40:03

6 months isn't long at all, he has serious problems which he needs to address. I'd be thinking more like a year.

LostSight Thu 02-Feb-17 11:53:10

I had a six month separatiion from DH. It did help, to an extent. He had been hankering after the single life, and discovered how lonely that was. Realising what he would lose made him finally face up to the horrible behaviour patterns he had been indulging in.

Things were wonderful for three or four years. They are still not as bad as the period before I asked to separate, but they aren't perfect. His tendency is to be that person and I have to continually put in work and be aware of personal boundaries. Our relationship is ticking over, but sometimes I wish it wasn't such hard work.

I also think his presence and behaviour has had a negative impact on the children. That said, I have no idea whether he would have behaved worse towards them if we had split childcare.

Your situation sounds difficult. He obviously wants to try, but long term, if he's alcoholic, that's something that will be with you long term. You are not a cold heartless bitch, he's just put you through so much that you probably have lost what you once felt.

Good luck OP.

TarkaLiotta Fri 03-Feb-17 20:28:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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