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How to tell my bf I can't handle how he eats?

(54 Posts)
newstartamiready Wed 01-Feb-17 21:27:07

He is lovely and I love him but I can't stand how he eats! He is a noisy eater and I have to tell him as it something I just can't handle! But I don't want to be rude or mean or upset his feelings confused

banangramspam Wed 01-Feb-17 21:34:20

You are lovely and I love you, I particularly love X about you. But sometimes when you eat I find it really unpleasant. I think maybe I'm just particularly sensitive about this issue!

Do you think it would be possible for you to try to eat a little bit more quietly? I'd really appreciate that and I think I'd feel a lot more comfortable.

Again, you're lovely and I love you. Particularly Y.

newstartamiready Wed 01-Feb-17 21:43:18

Ha ha thanks for the suggestion!

So I don't shout you make me want to killllllllllllll you how you chew angryangryangry

offside Wed 01-Feb-17 21:49:18

This is one of my pet peeves too, I just give my DP 'the look' and he gets it. He does take offence sometimes, and I get why, but I also think it's to do with manners.

Allofme2017 Wed 01-Feb-17 21:49:20

Is he going to be able to change the way he eats?

DJKKSlider Wed 01-Feb-17 21:52:41

My GF is a noisy eater.

My way of handling it is to make sure I'm eating at the same time.
If she has crisps or toast randomly, I make an excuse to leave the room for a few minutes. Basically avoid it at all costs. grin

BagelGoesWalking Wed 01-Feb-17 21:54:43

If you can't stand it now, then think about how murderous you'll feel in 5 or 10 years!

Lauraw1989 Wed 01-Feb-17 21:58:19

My dad is a noisy eater. When I lived at home, at meal times I would turn the TV volume up or leave the room.

robindeer Wed 01-Feb-17 22:01:09

At dinner tonight I literally reached across and held DH's lips together while he was chewing with his mouth open. I'm way beyond trying to deal with this politely. It gives me rage angry

pallasathena Wed 01-Feb-17 22:10:13

Just tell him that his eating habits are repulsive and either to get some manners or to bugger off and join the ranks of the great unwashed.
Cruel to be kind.

HarmlessChap Thu 02-Feb-17 00:08:55

Tell him nicely to start with, then when if it happens again you tell him a little more bluntly that he need to learn to eat quietly as he's not a Neanderthal.

Naicehamshop Thu 02-Feb-17 00:13:05

Oh God - my dh eats noisily and I really am going to kill him one of these days. angry Think very carefully before you decide to continue this relationship - it will drive you mad!

BeautyGoesToBenidorm Thu 02-Feb-17 00:20:25

OP, seriously, you're not alone here - noisy/messy eating should be punishable by death. My ex was such a disgusting eater, I was nearly driven to fucking homicide.

Probably unhelpful, but I just wanted you to know you're amongst friends here grin

BackInBlack78 Thu 02-Feb-17 00:52:34

My DP licks his knife, it makes me rage and I don't want his son to pick up the habit too angry

SugarLoveHeart Thu 02-Feb-17 00:57:09

Nothing you can do about it, except seethe in silence...

bloodyteenagers Thu 02-Feb-17 00:59:35

I dumped a guy over this. Couldn't bear the thought of spending my life with someone who made more noise than an bunch of farm animals (no offence to farm animals). It was horrid.
I tried the nice approach. But the thing is by the time we meet these men it's too late. It's ingrained. They should have been taught as children how to eat. Although some really take the piss and don't care it annoys you. In public these worse offenders eat normally with their mouths closed.

GardenGeek Thu 02-Feb-17 01:00:21

Dw, you can learn to get over it.
My dad used to do it and it used to make me feel physically ill.
Now I dont bat an eyelid at anyones noisy eating grin

It is your issue so I would deal with it yourself.

Imagine if someone told you that your eating was awful, and how self conscious you would feel every. single. time. you ate anything

Slowly chewing, biting small bits, trying to swallow to quickly or not at all.

Its awful to do that to someone. So try to get over it. I know you can! grin

newstartamiready Thu 02-Feb-17 07:34:39

Thank you all for the replies! Glad I am not alone in feeling this way!

Garden geek - how do I get over this? It honestly annoys me, if I could get over it that would be great but how?

ricecrispies16 Thu 02-Feb-17 08:09:49

I feel your pain. When I met my partner, he was perfect in every way.... then one day we ordered pizza and the extent of his camel like chewing REPULSED ME! I couldn't even eat mine, in fact I decided to wait until he'd finished till I ate mine so I could actually enjoy it.

I've never witnessed anyone eat like my partner does. One morning we were getting ready for work when he was eating toast like a camel with toothache and I snapped at him and came clean that noisy eaters GIVE ME RAGE!!!!!!

He does try to keep it down now but I still have to remind him here and there and pizza is still a massive issue.

BakeOffBiscuits Thu 02-Feb-17 08:18:15

Mine Dh isn't noisy but he eats so quickly. He practically hoovers up the bloody plate angry
I can cope most of the time but it really irritates me at others. I end up eating most of my meal on my own cos he's finished. Then he's talking about pudding when I'm still fucking eating!
I'm quite blunt and say "can you slow down a bit" and he then becomes conscious of what he's doing and slows down.

Just be blunt with him!

Trills Thu 02-Feb-17 08:18:50

Do you want to be reminding him for the rest of your life?

picklemepopcorn Thu 02-Feb-17 08:35:34

This will get worse not better. Are his table manners worse than average?

You could think about getting aversion therapy of some kind.

If you are finding it hard now, it will only get worse as time goes on, as you have loved up hormones taking the edge off at the moment. That will wear off...

You could have a general conversation about how people are brought up, table manners etc. If he expresses any interest or concern you could offer to show him what you were taught...

You could say "oy, stop chewing with your mouth open!"

A friend had a BF who ate in a different room because her table manners bothered him so much.

Lots of ways to approach it.

My DH has got worse with every year, not better. Sorry!

user1483387154 Thu 02-Feb-17 08:39:08

My H is only like this when eating grapes. I have talked to him about it several times and now ask him to turn up the radio/tv when he eats them so I cant hear the noise!!

clumsyduck Thu 02-Feb-17 09:01:53

You could be tactful and kind or you could be like I am when dp eats loud " shut the fuck up because I will end you " angry 😂😂

Toddlerteaplease Thu 02-Feb-17 09:56:25

My dad is a really noisy eater and always gets it round his mouth and down his front. I don't know how my mum has put up with it for 40 years. angry

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