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DD has never had a boyfriend/kissed anyone/etc.

(66 Posts)
19DDaughter Tue 31-Jan-17 17:17:23

She's 19. I'm just a bit worried. Would you be a little bit concerned? I don't really know what I'm concerned about, but it just seems a little worrying (for no reason that I can explain).

Soubriquet Tue 31-Jan-17 17:18:09

No I wouldn't be worried

I didn't do any of that until I was 18 and honestly I wish I had waited a bit longer

TheSmurfsAreHere Tue 31-Jan-17 17:19:26

Nope, I don't think there is anything to worry about.
What do you think could be bad about not having kissed someone until you are 19 or 20?

DogsandCats123 Tue 31-Jan-17 17:20:56

How do you actually know she's never kissed anyone?

19DDaughter Tue 31-Jan-17 17:21:00

Well, I'm worried that she never will?

I don't know, I just remember that part of my teenage years were kissing the boy behind the bike shed, etc. it just seemed like that was part of the teenage years. I'm not saying that's what I think is right! I just considered that 'normal'.

FancyPantsDelacroixTheFirst Tue 31-Jan-17 17:21:40

Does she actually want to? Is she worried? If she genuinely didn't/isn't then I wouldn't worry.

Soubriquet Tue 31-Jan-17 17:21:40

Course she will one day

When she's ready and has found the right person

19DDaughter Tue 31-Jan-17 17:22:01

Because we talk? confused she is very shy and explains that she isn't fussed that she hasn't even kissed a boy, etc. but I feel like saying that means she is.

DaughterDrowningInJunk Tue 31-Jan-17 17:23:07

Have you posted about this before? There was a very similar thread a month or two ago.

RaisinsAndApple Tue 31-Jan-17 17:23:32

My sis didn't have any boyfriends at all before she met her DH in her late 20s. They are very happily married. I'd concentrate on building her self confidence and positive life experiences. Don't worry - I'm sure she'll get there.

RebelRogue Tue 31-Jan-17 17:26:09

If she's upset,bothered about it,she can work(with help) on her self esteem,shyness etc. It's not a big issue really,especially if it's not affecting her life and she's happy.
What you definitely don't want is for her to do something she's uncomfortable with or not ready yet,just for the sake of being "normal".

MakingMerry Tue 31-Jan-17 17:26:13

I wouldn't be concerned. She's 19. She's an adult. Her sex life, or lack of it, is not your concern. I don't mean that to be rude, but it's really not. You probably wouldn't want her discussing your sex life, or lack of it, on an internet forum either.

babymouse Tue 31-Jan-17 17:26:31

She'll be fine. I didn't kiss anyone until my mid twenties and am fine. Anyway, I couldn't imagine anything more of putting on the romance front than having your mum encourage you (even with the best intentions) - how embarrassing!

19DDaughter Tue 31-Jan-17 17:27:29

Oh gosh I don't encourage her to do anything!! Now that would be a bit weird!!

FancyPantsDelacroixTheFirst Tue 31-Jan-17 17:28:05

I'd worry more that her shyness might be generally hampering as opposed to focussing on her lack of love life.

Might be worth considering what could help her general confidence, if she's willing to listen or accept you help.

AndTheBandPlayedOn Tue 31-Jan-17 17:28:35

Sorry, but the first thing that came to mind is "what about girls?" <not helpful>

Cocolepew Tue 31-Jan-17 17:29:59

Neither has my 19 year old. Im not bothered and neither is she.

picklemepopcorn Tue 31-Jan-17 17:31:42

DSs, 20 and 17, the same. Maybe we could introduce them? grin

babymouse Tue 31-Jan-17 17:34:17

*off not of

AllTheBabies Tue 31-Jan-17 17:35:33

I wouldn't worry to be honest. Some people are just late starters. I was 18 before I did any of that but I went on to have my first dc at 23. Not saying that that is what you want for her! Just that a late start doesn't necessarily mean a thing.

blueirishues Tue 31-Jan-17 17:36:16

Hm. I was like this at 19 and I didn't grow out of it. So I would be concerned. I'm an exceptional case, though.

MakingMerry Tue 31-Jan-17 17:36:34

Also, if she says she isn't fussed, but you think that means she is, is there anything she could say, or do, which would make you believe that she genuinely isn't fussed?

ImLadybird Tue 31-Jan-17 17:36:37

My DD was 18 before she did anything despite being pretty, friendly, sociable etc. It was just the way it was. She's at uni now and catching up fast from what I can gather! Don't worry about it. She'll be fine.

itcuddles Tue 31-Jan-17 17:39:04

You're worrying over nothing. Not all of us spent our teenage year obsessing over boys. I didn't start dating until I was 19, and I'm perfectly normal (at least I like to think grin)

IateallthePies654 Tue 31-Jan-17 17:39:48

Maybe she just doesn't see the appeal of having many partners and would prefer to wait till she finds someone she feels she properly likes?

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