My dp has been acting a little strange, nothing too much to worry about and I'm pretty sure I now know why, I'm fully expecting to be told IBU but I can't help the way I feel.
So this weekend he made a lighthearted joke about going to Amsterdam next weekend. I kept my response casual and then moved on to another subject.
The thing is I'm not happy about it and while I don't believe it's right to tell adults what they can or can't do, I'm not sure I would want to be with him if he went.....hear me out please.
I know he isn't going next weekend I think this is something he and his mate have discussed and he's sounding me out, almost forewarning me lol.
His friend is recently single and if I'm honest a bit of an idiot (but hey that's not my concern he isn't my friend).
This particular friend sends my dp all manner of strange, and quite often derogatory (towards women) almost pornagraphic videos. Stupid 'boy' videos he's found online.
It's not that I think he's a bad influence on my dp per se, I mean my dp is an adult and perfectly capable of choosing to act in an appropriate way, I just think this friend is one of those blokes who wouldnt encourage my dp to do that. You know the type that tells their friends in a relationship oh you're under the thumb or I wouldn't put up with that I'd tell her to do one.
Anyway I have absolutely no problem if my dp wants a boys weekend away, money isn't a problem, he works hard and all in all is a good man whom I trust. What I do feel uncomfortable with is the choice of location, the sex capital of the world lol.
I know he won't sleep with a prostitute, that's not the problem. I would just feel uncomfortable with him doing other things that happen in Amsterdam. The sex shows, the walking through the red light district and seeing women naked in Windows offering their goods. I'm not a prude, my dp has a high sex drive and we share a very open and good sex life but that's just it...we share.
I wouldn't want my dp watching real life women do things with the intention of sexual stimulation. I don't want him being part of an audience of something that arouses him. That's for me to do, that part of our relationship is personal to us.
I know what men are like, if he went away and saw women in bikinis they would look, have a bit of banter and yes he'd like looking but those women wouldn't be doing intimate things with the sole purpose of sexually stimulating their audience, they would just be good looking girls in bikinis.
Like I said I know 100% he wouldn't cheat, but tbh in this situation I know I would feel that the actual act of sex hadn't occurred I would still feel like he had betrayed that part of our relationship.
Some of you may think this is my problem and it's not fair to try and stop him, which I would never dream of doing but I am concerned as to how my feelings about this would effect our relationship.
I have no problem with porn in general, like I said Im pretty open minded with most stuff, but the things that happen in Amsterdam seem different, it's not like having a quick wank to five minutes of porn is it, it's real life, it's an actual woman in front of you doing extremely explicit sexual acts and I just don't agree with that. Opinions please.
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Relationships
Im Probably Being Unreasonable
IWantToWinTheLottery · 29/01/2017 11:15
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