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My children want their father to get help, courts not listening

(6 Posts)
Tryingmybest2 Sat 28-Jan-17 13:37:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick Sat 28-Jan-17 13:42:18

Surely they are old enough to decide whether they want to go or not?

Ilovecaindingle Sat 28-Jan-17 13:42:22

Have your dc not had the chance to speak out in the court process themselves? Their ages should go in their favour to make their own choice about going or not.

Berthatydfil Sat 28-Jan-17 13:42:28

Im not any kind of expert but I would have thought that at 12 and 15 (in particular) 1 it would be impossible to physically force them into contact if they really really didn't want to without some kind of restraint or assault and 2 the judge would listen to their views if they said they didn't want to go.

Tryingmybest2 Sat 28-Jan-17 14:00:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

savouryandsweet Sat 28-Jan-17 14:15:45

They need to speak to CAFCASS. The children's guardian is the only person who can represent them in court.

Encourage them to speak openly about what they have seen/heard/felt when they have been with their dad. Help them find a way to communicate with the CAFCASS guardian- a list, letter, email.

The children need to evidence the harm that their dad is exposing them to - ie I saw dad hit my step sibling, this made me feel...scared/sad/angry/worried.

I would strongly encourage you to find a counsellor for your children so that they can talk through their feelings without feeling under any pressure. Their school may be able to provide one, or your local youth services will. It will be free.

I would suggest that their dad is not going to change. If they want to see him then keep the contact safe for them - make sure it is in a public place, with a structured activity (lunch, bowling, cinema) for a short period of time ie 2 hours. He is unlikely to harm or bully them in public. They are at most risk when they are behind closed doors.

Teach them that they can leave the contact at any time, that you will collect them immediately if they text you and ask you to.

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