I've been with my DP for nearly 17 years and we now have kids. In that time he has organised 1 family holiday ( for his friends wedding) and a handful of nights out ( mostly work do's which he invites me to and then calls a date night). When I ask him to be involved, or just interested in finding time together as a couple, he says "why would I want to spend time with you anyway?" or "I don't know what you want to do". He manages to organise nights out and trips with friends without any problem and is always very excited about them. In the meantime I organise every family holiday and event, have arranged frequent date nights and, most recently, counselling for us. In our counselling sessions he will accept that he has some issues to work on but outside of the sessions he refuses to seek any help for himself or to change. I've addressed the fact that I am quick to take over family admin etc and have tried to take a more hands off approach. I have had my own therapy which has helped me a lot with boundaries.
My question is this: am I a mug to carry on like this? Or, if your partner is like this, have you found a way to stay together and hang on to your self respect at the same time?
I am concentrating on making my own happiness - friends, hobbies etc but at the moment I feel sure that even on my own, I couldn't feel less lonely.
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What is reasonable to expect?
7 replies
hotelzanzibar · 28/01/2017 10:30
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