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OLD ex of 3 weeks chasing me to return his socks

(34 Posts)
bluestardressinggown Sat 28-Jan-17 10:19:42

I met someone online last year. He seemed OK to start with but I ended it after 3 weeks because it became apparent to me that he hadn't really moved on from not one, but two of his previous relationships. He would mention one ex constantly i.e. 'oh Ex used to take fabulous pictures, I'll need to show you the photos she took on our holiday to blah blah 5 years ago' (like why would I want to see his ex girlfriends holiday snaps). He also had a lot of issues regarding his most recent ex who he only split up with in August. They have a young son together. He constantly complained about her behaviours, saying that she emotionally and physically bullied him, that she bullied him into having the baby. Things started to come out like how he had broken her finger during an argument (he said it was self defence). HE also said that she used to say what a horrible person he was and he would appease her by agreeing with her. The last week we were 'together' and which was the nail in the coffin for me, he said that he had made his mum cry by snapping at her at a family Christmas event, had had multiple arguments with his ex (the mother of his child) and fell out with all of his colleagues at work (to which I received a massive essay via Whatsapp). I got to the conclusion that this was someone who had too many issues for me and I found myself not really having any respect for him. A common denominator was coming through. I have a lot of big drama and shit going on in my life at the moment (I've got another thread about it) so don't need this sort of bollocks on top of that. I told him that I felt it wasn't going to work out between us. This was after 3 weeks of meeting. He has since then sent me multiple messages, saying how distraught and confused he is by my decision. He implies that it is down to my own drama in my life, and says stuff like he wanted to be a tree which I could rely on in the stormy weather (or some such bollocks). Anyway I really wanted to tell him he is not a fucking tree, a tree has roots deep in the earth which makes it strong, he is more like a bit of tumbleweed blowing around.

Anyway, he has latched onto the fact that he lent me a pair of socks. He wants them back. He keeps asking for them, I actually don't know what he is talking about, I don't know if I have them. But this is a bit weird isn't it. I wouldn't expect contact still , it is a month now that I ended it and we only knew each other for 3 weeks!

Would I be unreasonable to send him a message telling him what I think plus that I don't know where his socks are?

TheStoic Sat 28-Jan-17 10:21:53

Just 'I don't know where your socks are' would do.

ageingrunner Sat 28-Jan-17 10:23:32

No you wouldn't be unreasonable at all. Just send him one message saying you don't know what he's talking about and you will ignore any further messages, then block him.

Cherrysoup Sat 28-Jan-17 10:24:09

And then block him. He sounds unstable.

ArgyMargy Sat 28-Jan-17 10:24:33

Why are you drawing this out? No need for any kind of message whatsoever.

ageingrunner Sat 28-Jan-17 10:24:35

No point going into detail about what a twat he is because he wants attention so don't give him any more.

WatchingFromTheWings Sat 28-Jan-17 10:24:38

"I do not have your socks".

Then block and delete.

OydNeverDeclinesGin Sat 28-Jan-17 10:25:17

Tell him to sod off, then block him.
Life's far too short for this shit.

FannyUmbongo Sat 28-Jan-17 10:25:25

Tell him you've had a look and can't find them.

Then block him.

ErrolTheDragon Sat 28-Jan-17 10:25:36

I suppose you could say that if you find a pair of socks you don't recognise you'll post them to him. But that apart from that you're terminating contact.

bluestardressinggown Sat 28-Jan-17 10:25:51

I don't feel like I'm the one drawing it out, I'm not contacting him at all. I will just say I don't have his socks and hope he will fuck off and leave me alone.

GimmeeMoore Sat 28-Jan-17 10:26:19

What a peculiar man.id text and say you don't know where they are
Perhaps his all singing dancing photographer gf can assist
Just make sure it's not his daft rouse to attempt contact again.sock losing freak

ArgyMargy Sat 28-Jan-17 10:30:16

Well you have just suggested responding to his messages - I think that is drawing it out. As PP has said he is seeking your attention and if you respond you are giving him your attention. Just ignore, block, delete.

bluestardressinggown Sat 28-Jan-17 10:34:07

But I haven't responded to him at all since I broke up with him. He is sending me messages so ignoring him is not working. I will tell him I don't know where his socks are, which will be the first time I've contacted him since I ended it.

Atlast2017 Sat 28-Jan-17 10:34:18

I think he needs a final message re the socks or he won't let it drop.

I had an ex who asked for £5 through friends for a jumper he had given me. Everyone was embarrassed but I gave them the £5 to give to him to shut him up.

Ilovecaindingle Sat 28-Jan-17 10:36:33

I would be expecting a bill for the socks.....

HeavenlyEyes Sat 28-Jan-17 10:38:43

he sounds an abusive arse and you dodged a bullet. Hurting women physically and emotionally. Block him and if he continues to harass you tell him you will go to the police.

StripeyCover Sat 28-Jan-17 10:42:15

crikey, dodged a bullet is right.

I think a polite 'sorry I can't see/find any socks"

Then just go NC. Ignore completely. If necessary block.

ArgyMargy Sat 28-Jan-17 10:45:23

And you really think that he won't respond back? Of course he will.

PaterPower Sat 28-Jan-17 10:49:26

Oh dear. Yep, you dodged a nutter there. As others have said, one quick text and then block his number on your phone. He's just using any old excuse to keep the drama going.

Chops2016 Sat 28-Jan-17 10:51:54

You could just buy a pair of cheapo socks and post them to him if you don't want to block.

ChuckSnowballs Sat 28-Jan-17 10:58:50

Can I just say, asking about socks is prodding you to respond.

So just keep ignoring and block. If he was that attached to his socks, then he should not have lent them. What are socks, £1 at most? Send him £1 in an envelope, say it is to cover the cost of his most precious socks that you don't even have, and that you have been advised to inform him that you are not in any way interested in him and to leave you alone or you will be forced to take further steps. Send it signed for to freak him out a little. Then go on full socklockdown.

ArgyMargy Sat 28-Jan-17 11:06:36

And again, Chuck by sending him socks she is giving him attention. No need to respond unless she's prepared for him to keep prodding. I really don't understand why anyone thinks a response is necessary, or why anyone thinks he will stop messaging her if she responds and/or sends him socks.

dangerrabbit Sat 28-Jan-17 11:07:46

I'd send him a message asking him not to contact you and making it clear that any further contact will be counted as harassment and reported to the police. Sounds a bit extre but makes yur boundaries very clear and should cause him to back off.

gamerchick Sat 28-Jan-17 11:08:59

I really want you tell him he's a tumbleweed grin don't though!

He's just using it as an excuse to see you so he can blag your head. Tell him to fuck off and block his number.

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