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Being a needy friend

(5 Posts)
Greta84 Fri 27-Jan-17 21:50:48

I have a relatively new mum friend. Well about 12 months we've been friends. Our DCs are in the same class at school. The thing is when we're together we really click like really click...to the extent she's told mutual friend how lovely I am. Due to work commitments general life busyness we haven't managed to get together. She's not great at answering texts if we speak and agree to meet it never happens i.e. I don't hear from her on the day and then she'll say oh I didn't mean today.. she is absolutely lovely. But now I'm finding I'm maybe being needy as in I really feel I need her friendship. So I get jealous when I see her chatting to other mums (I sound like a psycho) we do get on well and she's made a real effort in the past. I decided anyway to just back off for a bit as I had asked once for us to meet and it didn't happen for one reason or another. I don't want to give up on the friendship but I think at the same time I don't want to come across as needy. In my heart I do need this friendship as I'm far from family I'm a SAHM and I'm feeling increasingly isolated. I start some counselling next week. I will explore this neediness in myself. I have plenty of other friends and we meet and have fun- this friend has been really really good to me but I know I need her more than she needs me and I don't want my behaviour to push her away.

Skooba Fri 27-Jan-17 22:23:10

If she works - so is with other adults all day, she won't feel in need of a friend to the same extent that you do, if you are a SAHM.
Also if she works there will be little spare time for meet ups with friends.
It's not often you meet someone you really click with but it sounds likedoes not have the same interest in the friendship as you. It's not something you can force. The best thing would be to find other interests and enjoy her company when you can.

Greta84 Fri 27-Jan-17 22:30:58

Thanks Skooba. Speaking with our mutual friend who introduced us. She said that they really don't get time to meet up either. She said their husbands are friends and generally organise things. Unfortunately my husband works long hours. He's not interested in forming friendships with the dad's. It kind of leaves me out on a limb really because a lot of the parents do things as families and my husband just isn't so interested or has the time really.

Greta84 Fri 27-Jan-17 22:37:16

No I can't force it I know. She did try getting me involved in one of her extra curricular activities it's twice a month but £20 a time and I can't afford it. She took me along a friend for a freebie and we had a great time. She was one of 3 friends who came for my birthday meal and pulled a late one at work so she could make it. So I know she does try really hard when she can.

Greta84 Fri 27-Jan-17 22:37:35

*as a

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