Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
Head is a shed!!(3 Posts)
Well I will try and keep it short as possible.
Started having problems with OH Family once or boy was born nearly 2 years ago, basically they wanted to do what they wanted with the baby and I was forced into seeing them all the time. He threatened to end the relationship, locked me in a room once, arguments get really heated I get scared, hes threatened numerous times to take the baby etc called me mental. Basically blaming me. I know it's not good, but the rest of the time he's pretty much alright, just a bit moody and sometimes can be on eggshells with him.
I've been seeing a domestic abuse worker and counselling. We went to relationship counselling, he hadn't lived with us since last January. Well it came to an abrupt end in October as his mum and dad had dwp fraud knocking at the door and they've been caught doing benefit fraud. Which I have the blame for because 'I've for a problem with them' the facts of this visit keep changing, they seem Like they have picked out facts that suit them to blame on me, saying it's got to be me!
Well in his anger he ended it, went straight to solicitors and decided to apply to court for a CAO. The reason I don't trust him is he ignores everything I say, he wants to do everything his mum n dad say. Donkeys at 5 months, train ride at 12 months, booze on dummy, bacon at 6 months... A few examples of stuff they have suggested and I'm the bad guy for putting my foot down saying no its not acceptable.
I had started to get on with my life after finding it really REALLY difficult over Xmas. Went to court feeling fine....
I have got residency order, he has to have supervised contact cos he admitted saying they he was going to kill me in an argument I reported.
Basically reading all that I would advise to run a mile. I have just felt so bad for him, but he wanted the courts. We are not supposed to have any contact at all, for 3 months and the thought absolutely destroys me not being able to speak to him. Well I've been bad I called him last night and today. He feels same as me, and is scared of calling the court business off incase we end up back to square 1.
It's been 3 months now and I still feel as heartbroken as I did on day 1. I've asked and begged every day for him tell his dad to request a DPA report of these so called allegations made, so I can pro w it wasn't me. Of course they aren't going to do that! It makes me mad only way I can prove it is by them doing that, but they will drop themselves in it. He needs to grow some balls, but how do I go about it, I am always labelled the bad one in this I've also moved 45 mins away to live in his town so I've no friends or family around.
You are jeopardising your case by phoning him. .
Do you really want your child growing up full time with his family if he does something terrible to you? You must have once believed he would kill you if you reported this? His family are fraudsters. . Why should you have to prove it wasn't you? He has showed you his loyalty lies with his family. Stay way while you still can. .
I know I must be crazy, it's not a court order that we have no contact, just advised by solicitors.
It's just all ridiculous I'm even fighting so much to defend myself while he is running off 😢
I've found it really hard to accept that this is it, we've had lots of arguments and everytime he treats it the same like the world has ended. I've told him they shouldn't be lying scroungers, which went down like a lead balloon. End of the day they shouldn't have done it, they know what they are doing, they are still fraudulently getting PIP!
Just so hard I thought he was amazing best thing since sliced bread and he's ended up dumping me for another woman - his mum!
Join the discussion
Please login first.