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I think it's over. What do I do now?

(10 Posts)
Oscillationss Fri 27-Jan-17 18:44:44

I can't believe this is happening. We can't be together anymore.

Right now I'm standing in the kitchen making him a cup of tea while he watches the end of a movie with the children. Then it's their bedtime.

I don't know how to get from the agreeing it's over conversation to it actually being over. I don't think he'll leave.

I don't know how I'm going to cope on my own with 3 small children. The youngest is only 6 months old and I'm exhausted enough as it is.

I don't know where to go from here. I don't want to not be with him but I can't trust him anymore.

I don't know why I'm posting here. I can't tell anyone I really know. I know I'll just cry.

He's acting like it's all my decision but he's the one who messed up.

shouldihaveanotherbaby Fri 27-Jan-17 18:48:07

Not sure of your circumstances, but just wanted to send hugs. flowers

Patriciathestripper1 Fri 27-Jan-17 18:53:51

Don't look at it as an ending of something, look at it as a beginning!
If the trust has gone then there is nothing,
You have 3 lovely dc to think about and i imagen he will do his share of care?
i don't know what your circumstances are but wish you well flowers]

Patriciathestripper1 Fri 27-Jan-17 18:54:07

flowers for you

AshesandDust Fri 27-Jan-17 18:54:09

I didn't want to read and run. For you flowers
Hang in there others will be along soon with lots of practical advice and support.

ImperialBlether Fri 27-Jan-17 18:55:55

I would start with the premise that you cannot leave, not when you have three very young children to care for.

He's accepted that it's over, then?

RedastheRose Fri 27-Jan-17 18:57:36

If it's over and you have 3 small children then ask him to leave and give you space to think. You need time to sort your head out. It might be worth thinking about counselling if you think you can get over whatever has happened to cause the 'it's over' conversation. Remember that if your baby is only 6 months old your hormones will still be out of kilter so you may be reacting in a way you wouldn't normally. Thinking of you and sending hugs.

pallasathena Fri 27-Jan-17 19:14:18

Be kind to yourself. He's very likely projecting the blame onto you. Its what they do and you have to try and keep a clear head.
Is there anyone you can talk to in real life? If not, then talk to us. We'll listen and support you.

Oscillationss Fri 27-Jan-17 20:31:34

Thank you all for your kind words. It's all so oddly normal, like we haven't decided to end our marriage.

He's reading a magazine and I'm not sure if he's pretending it's not happening or if he's really not that bothered.

I feel sick. We went to counselling a couple of years ago. We discussed the problem, he made things better. Then, because they seemed better, he got too close to the problem again.

The problem is his relationship with his ex. He's lied and lied and I don't want to be lied to anymore. I don't want to wonder if he's lying anymore.

I'm going to the coast to stay with my parents at half term. I wish I could go now.

RedastheRose Sat 28-Jan-17 01:56:34

Why don't you just go then. If children are small it won't matter if you take them out of school for a while. He will either miss you and do everything in his power to fix things or he won't and you will know that he's not worth bothering with anyway. Lies are the thing that ruins everything. If you don't have trust you have nothing. Tell him that you are going and that you want him moved out when you come back.

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