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can i afford to leave DP? (trying to work out what might happen with house etc)

(5 Posts)
SaveMeTheWaltz Fri 27-Jan-17 13:15:40

DP and I own a small flat which we live in with our two children, aged five and eight months. We are unmarried. We both work full time, but as my work is more flexible, I tend to do more of the drop offs and pick ups and holiday care (which in practice means that I have to catch up with work evenings and weekends and work suffers for it). He frequently works away from home, meaning that I am often solely responsible for the children during the working week.

If I leave him, am I likely to be able to stay in the property with our children, or are we going to have to sell up, split the equity and find separate properties? I am unlikely to be given a mortgage on my own as my work is done on a series of short fixed term contracts - I'm worried that the instability of my work might mean that I can't even rent a flat. We are in London so accommodation is silly money, whether renting or buying, and to move out of the city would mean moving away from work, support networks, daughter's school etc. DP earns good money (higher tax bracket) and unfortunately I earn very little (due to the nature of our industries - I can't really get around this by working harder / getting more qualification etc).

TempusEedjit Fri 27-Jan-17 13:34:19

I believe as you are unmarried it's unlikely you'd be able to stay in the property if you can't afford it by yourself. Does your DP know you want to separate, is it likely the split would be amicable?

SaveMeTheWaltz Fri 27-Jan-17 13:37:19

Hi Tempus, thanks for replying. No, DP doesn't know that I want to split (I don't even know for certain myself, I just want to work out if it would be logistically possible); no, it would not be amicable (and he would be able to afford a much better lawyer than me, which worries me a lot).

SaveMeTheWaltz Fri 27-Jan-17 13:38:33

I could afford to pay the monthly mortgage, but I think it unlikely that a mortgage company would consider me an appropriate candidate for a mortgage by myself.

TempusEedjit Fri 27-Jan-17 14:53:36

That's the thing isn't it, it's not so much what you can afford it's what the mortgage company think you can afford. I'm afraid you're not in a great legal position being the lower earner with DC and unmarried, you really need some legal advice. I guess you don't think your relationship is salvageable?

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