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Husband wants to sleep with other women.

(284 Posts)
User2410 Thu 26-Jan-17 19:47:32

Hi everybody I'm new to this, had a previous post in a different name but thought it was abit incriminating.
Anyway. I just think I need some pep talks and writing about it helps my anxiety. Basically me and DH have been together 7 years. 4 year wedding anniversary next week and he's just joined the police. He started his initial training last week and on the weekend he returned we had a big row because he had gone round a colleagues on the way home for a cup of tea with her parents instead of coming home to me and his children. I found messages that they'd beend exchanging throughout the week and they were far too flirtatious. And then all of that gets dropped because he says he doesn't want to me with me anymore. That he's been pretending everything is fine for about 2 years when it's not and that he needs this 5 months during training to have some time. So he's asking me for 'time'.
I asked him if he wants to sleep with someone else he said he doesn't want to sleep with loads of people he just wants that connection.
He says he loves me and doesn't know if he's making the right decision but he feels a weight has been lifted. It's all come as a shock and I just want him to come back to me.

sleepachu Thu 26-Jan-17 19:50:17

He sounds ghastly OP. LTB.

Nottalotta Thu 26-Jan-17 19:50:38

So he wants a 5 month separation where he gets to shag his colleague? He basically wants your permission. Are you happy for him to go ahead? I'd be telling him to cracking on and not to bother coming back.

ImperialBlether Thu 26-Jan-17 19:51:19

Did I dream this thread last night?

Underthemoonlight Thu 26-Jan-17 19:52:57

Get rid he does not value you or your children to have you hanging on whilst he goes and shags about.

Newbrummie Thu 26-Jan-17 19:54:38

What planet Is he on ?
I presume you've told him to sling his hook ? Because he's going to do whatever he gets the opportunity to do whether you give permission or not

Stuffedshirt Thu 26-Jan-17 19:55:37

Tell him to go and do one. He's massively taking the piss. My heart goes out to you flowers

inlectorecumbit Thu 26-Jan-17 19:55:50

Jesus wept--no way.
He will do this with or without your permission.
So l am so sorry to say but get your ducks in a row then tell him to FUOTFENOFAWHGTFOSM.
flowers

BeingATwatItsABingThing Thu 26-Jan-17 19:55:59

You will be well rid of him. What a twat!

kitXi Thu 26-Jan-17 19:57:17

That's bollocks. Translated as "I want to shag my colleague but I don't want to end my marriage so I'm going to give you some bullshit about needing time, screw her like a single bloke for five months then come home for my dinner." Don't let him do this.

neweymcnewname Thu 26-Jan-17 19:58:08

Is he suggesting he'll move out, or does he plan to live with you, while he's out getting 'a connection' (haven't heard it called that before!)?
He sounds restless, and like he wants to hedge his bets, keeping you on the line while he plays the field angry

MrDacresEUSubsidy Thu 26-Jan-17 19:58:57

What Kit said.

Ditch him and tell him to pack up and fuck off.

Ilovecaindingle Thu 26-Jan-17 19:59:16

Of course he can sleep with other women. . After today when surely he will be a stbexh?

AnonymousShe Thu 26-Jan-17 20:00:06

He wants to have his cake and eat it.

SecretWitch Thu 26-Jan-17 20:00:13

Nope. Tell him to get to stepping. True definition of having cake and eating too! You know you deserve far better than this.

PollytheDolly Thu 26-Jan-17 20:01:02

Time?

Time to tell him to fuck off.

SecretWitch Thu 26-Jan-17 20:01:15

Xpost with Anonymous!

User2410 Thu 26-Jan-17 20:01:21

I have posted in separation sorry to bore anybody who's read before !!blush I've tried to respect the fact he needs to space to sort out his head but this has happened 2 years running but we have ended up back together after only a few days apart. This time he has a whole 5 months as a real good excuse to get away. I'm the first person he's slept with and he's probably wondering if the grass is greener. But I want to know if does genuinely want to have some fun while he's away and I'm looking after 2 kiddies on my own. I want to know if he's stringing me along but I'm worriEd if I push him for an answer I will push him into saying it's over. I know I shouldn't wanna be with someone who doesn't whole heartedly want to be with me anyway but I love him and can't bring myself to imagine a life where he has another woman. Christ am I pathetic?

Costacoffeeplease Thu 26-Jan-17 20:01:24

So the 'tea at her parents' isn't innocent after all? What a surprise

He sounds vile, don't do the 'pick me' dance, if he wants to shag other women, then send him packing pdq

owlmug Thu 26-Jan-17 20:01:59

Tell him you have felt the same for far longer but have never said anything and walk away. He won't come back to you, and if he does it's because he's failed to find the connection elsewhere (which he will resent). You don't owe anyone 'time'. You have one life, don't waste it on somebody who feels the weight has been lifted when you are not around. It should be the opposite.

Costacoffeeplease Thu 26-Jan-17 20:02:40

You should be the one saying it's over

BantyCustards Thu 26-Jan-17 20:03:21

Dear God kick this child to the kerb - he's got little to no respect for you.

Empress13 Thu 26-Jan-17 20:04:47

Wants a flamin connection?? I'd give him a connection - his head and my fist!

I've heard some shit in my time but this takes the biscuit OP!

I suggest you show him this thread and let him see what people think of him!

NavyandWhite Thu 26-Jan-17 20:05:54

Tell him to fuck off.
And when he tries to come snivelling back to you after he's slept with someone else tell him to fuck off again.

user87654321 Thu 26-Jan-17 20:06:04

It sounds like he's already done it (with her). You deserve so much more.

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