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Urgent advice - safest way to break up with a dangerous sociopath

(8 Posts)
CeCeBloomer Thu 26-Jan-17 16:43:59

Asking for a friend - has come to light that the man she has been involved with for 1 year or so is very dangerous (evidence of previous violence, stalking all exes and severe verbal abuse) they don't live together. She just wants to end the relationship in the safest way possible ie not inflame him. Any advice?

CeCeBloomer Thu 26-Jan-17 16:44:27

He doesn't know she knows this info

pocketsaviour Thu 26-Jan-17 17:19:20

I would suggest she speaks to Womens Aid as soon as possible to get their advice. Until she has a plan in place she should NOT spend time with him but not let him know the reason - she can say she has diarrhoea or something.

The safest way to disengage with a sociopath is to become so boring that they cease taking interest in you... that said it's not something I'd want to play along with.

RosettaPebble Thu 26-Jan-17 17:21:22

Definitely contact Women's Aid and Paladin for advice before letting him know of her plans to leave.

Fidelia Thu 26-Jan-17 17:25:53

Does she live with him? It will be easier/safer if she doesn't

CeCeBloomer Thu 26-Jan-17 17:34:11

No don't live together - just a boyfriend but he has a pretty awful history of abuse and stalking women that break up with him and she is pretty vulnerable and could just do with the least nastiness possible

StripeyCover Thu 26-Jan-17 17:41:25

Agree, please suggest to your friend that she really spends some time with these organisations to try and find the best way to deal with this. They will have seen it/dealt with it many times before. It really does depend on the situation and the nature of her "vulnerability" how to proceed. The fact she has this (private) knowledge and realisation is something she can use to her advantage.

GatoradeMeBitch Thu 26-Jan-17 17:43:34

Professional advice is absolutely best. Other than that I think 'ghosting' might be safer than a proper break-up. Just being busy and unavailable. A face to face break-up with the person you described sounds dangerous. Then try to see to it that she has as much support from friends as possible.

(I wish we could tattoo 'KEEP AWAY' across the faces of people like him..)

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