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Communication with 17 year old son's father

(5 Posts)
ellamentalxxx10 Wed 25-Jan-17 21:14:42

My 17-year-old son is doing his A-levels and lives with his father. We split rather acrimoniously, 10 years ago. After a couple of years, I realised I was dealing with a narcissist and a real bully who expects his commands to be obeyed without question. I have survived by limiting contact, trying not to engage with him in order to maintain peace and quiet for my son's sake. However, he regularly emails me with instructions and when I don't respond immediately I get further emails filled with diatribe.

I have now decided I am no longer prepared to put up with his dictatorial behaviour. I've been honest with my son and explained how fed up I am. I choose to treat my son as a young adult. We can make arrangements directly, I do not see any reason to have to correspond with his father.

I am planning to send him a final email to say I will not respond anymore and to say I will deal directly with my son. Of course, I will continue to pay the child support until he has completed his education. But other than that, he can take a long walk off a short pier!

Just wondered what anybody else thinks?


crunched Wed 25-Jan-17 21:31:35

If you are happy and your DS is happy then it seems a brilliant solution grin

marmitegirl01 Wed 25-Jan-17 21:32:51

Sounds perfect! Go for it!
Good luck!x

Seeingadistance Wed 25-Jan-17 21:44:25

I think it sounds like a great plan! There's no need for you to still be putting up with his abusive crap.

Once you've told him that you'll not be communicating with him any more, could you block or automatically divert his emails? He probably will ramp up the diatribes to try and get a response, so it would be better not to see them at all.

picklemepopcorn Wed 25-Jan-17 21:48:58

Presumably, if it began to affect your son you would reopen the channels? I'm just thinking, fine in theory, but if your son is living with a narcissist while doing A levels or study of some sort... That could get quite pressured for him.

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