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good talking to please

(5 Posts)
Kelly1968 Wed 25-Jan-17 16:23:04

My OH and I have been going through a rough patch - together 10 years and one dc aged 4 (we both have 2 grown up children each who don't live at home ) - we both work full time & OH also does private jobs most weekends and most evenings is out at boxing club as a coach for women only group and kids classessex - I'm not from where we live his family are local butility mine are nearly an hour away so I tend to visit them over the weekend. Just before Christmas we had a massive argument that he doesn't spend enough time with me or DC. I said did he wanth to try and work at relationship he said let's see how we go!!! Christmas was OK then on 4th January he said it's over - he said whaTeversham we had was gone and he was doing it for both of us as we were both unhappy. We are now still living together until I can arrange to move back to my area - new school and childcare for my DC and a new home etc. My other problem is that my OH (really should put ex lol) is being extra nice and wants to share our bed, cuddle me and yes still trying to have sex with me - says he loves me, likes me and fancies me but still doesn't want to be in a relationship with me - I'm in bits and my head is all over the place why would you have those feelings but still want to destroy any family? ??? I've asked ifor he's having an affair physical or emotional but he said no.....he has one of his ladies from boxing club on his Facebook who seems to comment on everything he puts and always 'loves' his photos etc and he's always on his phone and everything is hidden!!!! I know I'm probably better off without him but I'm so upset that my DC'so life is going to be turned upside down.

PyongyangKipperbang Wed 25-Jan-17 17:15:18

Sounds like there is an affair in waiting even if it isnt actually happening. He has been putting most of his energy outside the home for some time, so in many respects its almost inevitable sad

Life will change yes, but ultimately that will be for the better for you both.

You need to put some boundaries in place though, starting now. He has ended your relationship so he moves out of your bed and your bedroom and if he hassles you for sex once more then he will need to move out of the house. Dont back down.

Get angry, make a fuss and make it quite clear that if your relationship is over then its over in all respects, and he can fuck right off. Use those words!

PyongyangKipperbang Wed 25-Jan-17 17:16:13

By "you both" I mean you and your younger child. He can go fuck himself!

Adora10 Wed 25-Jan-17 17:19:09

So he's nice when he wants a shag, other than that, he's told you it's over and you are wondering what now - tell him to fuck off and leave you alone; do not allow him to use you like this, he's treating you appallingly and from what you say about other women I wouldn't trust him an inch.

You know deep down you can do a hell of a lot better than what he's offering you.

If he's not already, he's giving himself permission now to go with any woman he can get.

Kelly1968 Wed 25-Jan-17 17:56:59

Thank you both for taking the time to respond to my message I know you're both right I just feel so sad for my DC he has mil look after him atm and still suffers with separation anxiety when I leave him and is really happy at school - I'm all over the place I keep thinking about giving up job I have now as I'm away from home 12 hours a day and childcare is a bit of an issue and I find OH's behaviour so odd - personally if I don't want to be with someone I don't tell I love them or try to have sex with them!!!

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