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Who has shared intrests/hobbies with oh

(31 Posts)
1DAD2KIDS Tue 24-Jan-17 22:30:54

I have a few hobbies/intrests/music tastes. But when I think back I have never really had a girlfriend or wife with the same intrests.

How important is having share intrests to a long term relationship? Who in a LTR shares in a hobby together with there oh? Was this an important factor in choosing them? Likewise who has a successful LTR with absolutely no shared hobbies/intrest?

Summerb Tue 24-Jan-17 22:47:01

I don't think you necessarily have to share a hobby but definitely at least one intrest? Or the willingness to invest time in the other persons interests? My STBXH loved f1, so I would make an effort to watch it and go see it with him. He made the effort to see bands with me because my thing is music.

FourKidsNotCrazyYet Tue 24-Jan-17 22:48:18

We've been married for 23 years both from the age of 18. I'd say we're very different. He was a soldier, love to travel, very brave and outgoing. Nothing fazes him and he's not a worrier. I'm complete opposite. I'm a homebody, don't like to travel, bit of a wimp and worry all the time! Having said that the way we view life is the same. We both parent the same, find the same stuff funny. Treasure the kids and our dogs. Like doing the house up together. We still spend a lot of time doing stuff together. Not sure if that's what you wanted to know? We're very close although my parents put a lot of that down to 'growing up' together because we got married so young (and no, I wasn't pregnant!) hmmgrin

BumDNC Tue 24-Jan-17 22:51:42

I'm happy with shared interests being politics, parenting, outlook on life, music, films etc. I'm not really bothered about sharing a hobby. I'm not much of a hobby person but happy for someone else to enjoy one

BumDNC Tue 24-Jan-17 22:53:59

Posted too soon.
I didn't realise what a difference it made being able to enjoy something like a film or a gig with someone who isn't just doing it or attending to make you happy for the sake of it and actually equally enjoys it. I think our shared interests in that respect are certainly what attracted us to each other and it's always been based on our shared sense of humour from day one

Lalunya85 Tue 24-Jan-17 23:01:19

Very interesting!

Valuing our kids and family above everything
Same taste in films
Rock climbing (although no time for that any more!)
Sharing a sense of humour
Similar music taste
Love to talk and analyse everything
Would rather sit in cafes and browse a new city aimlessly, than explore all the museums and 'sights'.

Its the small things isn't it? Hard to put down on a piece of paper. Which is why online dating is such a tricky thing to get right!

We don't really have any 'activities' that we do together. We just get on well with all the day to day stuff, holidays, plans for the future...

Lalunya85 Tue 24-Jan-17 23:03:16

I think it's about enjoying each others company. My dh is the person I feel most comfortable with. Doesn't mean we always agree, we actually argue quite regularly. But if I have to choose who to spend my time with, nine times out of ten it'll be dh.

We've been together 8 years so not sure of that'll 'wear off' grin

Lalunya85 Tue 24-Jan-17 23:03:58

And apologies for the apostrophe fails...

EllaHen Tue 24-Jan-17 23:06:48

We both support the same football team and are taking the kids this weekend to support them.

He did try to get me into gaming a few years ago but wasn't successful. Again, the kids have taken up this interest.

We talk a lot about what's going on in the world, our latest podcast listens, sciency stuff and of course will watch a boxset together.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Tue 24-Jan-17 23:12:02

We have no shared interests but plenty of interests/hobbies each. We will each get mucked in to one anothers if there's an event that one of us fancies.

A bit of come and go goes a long way.

smegsmeg Tue 24-Jan-17 23:17:31

Me and my partner have the same music taste and it's always great for our time together going to gigs and festivals and always something to talk about. I would say it was a big part in our relationship and why we chose each other (met at reading festival 2010). My previous relationships didn't work and I didn't have anything in common with them so I'm taking that as a hint..

Are you looking for someone with the same hobbies etc?

wobblywonderwoman Tue 24-Jan-17 23:20:59

At the start of our marriage - no hobbies in common

Now we are so busy with DC etc we have similar pastimes (ie. Changing nappies , duplo etc grin )

Only joking. We have a shared love of antiques, upcycling, like trips in Europe when money allows.

BackforGood Tue 24-Jan-17 23:28:35

This We have no shared interests but plenty of interests/hobbies each. We will each get mucked in to one anothers if there's an event that one of us fancies.

We actually met through a hobby, and we are still both involved but our paths have gone in different directions so we don't actually spend that time together. However, we do understand the time the other one gives, and the odd stresses or prep time etc.,etc

When the dc were small, it was actually quite a bonus that we liked different things - only had to buy one ticket when money was tight and didn't need a babysitter. Now, I sometimes think it would be nice if we had more things we did together, but, ultimately I don't want to do either of the 2 things he loves, and I can therefore understand that he doesn't want to accompany me to things I love.

We have plans for when we retire though smile

ErrolTheDragon Tue 24-Jan-17 23:32:30

Some shared interests, some different. I can't imagine being with someone over 30 years who didn't like doing some of the same things, but its good to each have your own stuff too.

Emboo19 Tue 24-Jan-17 23:33:43

Only 19 and been with my bf 3 years, known him 5. We have the same taste in music, that's what first got us talking.
Once we got to know one another, we found we had lots of the same interests/goals, places we want to visit and thing we want to try. We share similar beliefs and opinions and we can talk for hours about the most insignificant thing.
We also both value our own friends and hobbies and don't like the whole do everything together couple idea!
He'd be my perfect guy! Only our opinion on children is different and we've got a unplanned dd to consider now!!

BackforGood Tue 24-Jan-17 23:41:18

I think what is far more important is having the same values in life.
Yes, it would be nice if (now the dc are less dependent) there were more things we did together, but it has suited us for the last 25 yrs + smile

1DAD2KIDS Wed 25-Jan-17 00:25:26

It's just a thought really. My ex wife didnt really like to do a lot of the things I did. Don't get me wrong we enjoyed each others company. I suppose our only sort of share intrest was the a nice city break weekend once a month or two. I like to chat about world events/politics, she had no intrest. I like the outdoors and physical adventure, likewise she had no intrest. I like the theatre, her no intrest. She I guess liked the simple things like watching the soaps. I would go out of my way the watch soaps and documentaries like benifit Britain with her. Totally not my TV but I enjoyed it as an opportunity to spend time with her and snoogle once kids in bed. Thinking about it we never got to watch TV.

Made me think that maybe a lack of share intrest/activities could be a bad thing.

1DAD2KIDS Wed 25-Jan-17 00:26:37

Snuggle*

TheNaze73 Wed 25-Jan-17 07:43:27

Shared interests are nice but, shared hobbies..... Nah.

I think it's majorly important to have & life of your own but, time apart is equally as important, as time together

Emboo19 Wed 25-Jan-17 07:51:50

It's so variable though, something that interests you now, might not in the future. People's ideas and opinions can and do change.
My mum never set foot in a gym until she turned 30, now she's out running every morning, my dad thinks the only good reason to run is if someone's chasing you!
In hindsight I'd say the same core beliefs and goals are important. Would that have stopped me falling madly in love at 16 though. I very much doubt it!
The heart wants what the heart wants and all that!!

Albatross26 Wed 25-Jan-17 09:17:08

We are both musicians and play in a couple of ensembles together. It's really good fun but does mean we spend a lot of time together!

Mils45 Wed 25-Jan-17 10:33:21

We exercise together which I think has been great for us. My OH is very very passionate about his work and fortunately I used to be in the industry so it helps when he non stop talks about it. Ha! I'm very active and outdoors, he joins in but it wasn't something he did before me.

we are also so different, he loves a drink and going for beers with his friends, (you could class it as his hobby). I drink a few glasses once a week and we clash on this.

So yes, I think it's good to have a common hobby or just passion - something you can have good conversations about really

Whatthefoxgoingon Wed 25-Jan-17 11:03:23

We like opera, theatre, travelling, skiing, eating out.

He likes canoeing, rock climbing, cycling and running.

I like a glass of wine and a good book.

As long as you enjoy each other's company and some interests in common, the rest won't matter. The person is far more important than any hobby.

jellyshoeswithdiamonds Wed 25-Jan-17 11:08:00

He was very into rugby when we met (used to play), I used to fall asleep watching it on tv.

Made a decision to understand it a bit more, must have drove him mad having to explain the laws to me as the game was on but now over 30 years later we are both ardent supporters, have enjoyed many lovely weekends away to watch games (stayed in Venice when we played Treviso, bliss) and aspire to go on as many Lions tours as we can afford. Our kids are supporters as well, we all have season tickets and make a day of it together.

Hubby works away, he's a workaholic which takes most of his time. Being on my own a lot during the week I have my own hobbies, one being the dog and going out exploring with him, finding new walks and then taking hubby with us on the weekends.

We've been together over 30 years, our quirky sense of humour, work ethic and family is everything are our bedrock, yes we have hobbies we enjoy together but he is open to joining in with mine (he even tolerates my new found love of camping, but only in France hmm).

steppemum Wed 25-Jan-17 11:27:01

Hmm, not sure it is actually practical interests.
dh and I (together 18 years) share the same world view, the same outlook, have similar opinions on stuff, like to talk about world issues and politics, both love to travel, both international looking etc.

We are both active in our local church, but in very different roles.

Dh did introduce me to running, and supported me getting fit, but we never run together (he is fit and fast)

I know he would like to do more of some things, so he likes hill walking and I am less keen, partly because of kids. I make an effort to do his stuff and he makes an effort to do mine (theatre, restaurants) but as his is free and mine costs money, we don't do that much of either!

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