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Porn

(25 Posts)
Flowersarefun39 Tue 24-Jan-17 17:19:58

How do people feel
About their husband watching porn .I generally find it a bit insulting and would rather not know about it .But my husband has made me feel like a prude . I know men get sent videos as jokes via whatap etc but actually visiting sites is a bit different .id like to know peoples views on it

Adora10 Tue 24-Jan-17 17:21:34

That old chestnut, personally I think it's rank and I'd not have it in my relationship; he says that to you to shut you up OP, you can actually refuse to have it in your home.

CockacidalManiac Tue 24-Jan-17 17:25:25

Personally I'm fine with it, but the important thing here is what you think and what your personal boundaries are.

SheldonsSpot Tue 24-Jan-17 17:27:21

You would rather not know that your DH was insulting you.

Okaaaaay? Slippery slope right there.... "I'd rather not know/turn a blind eye".

Happybunny19 Tue 24-Jan-17 17:30:41

Absolutely no problem with it, we watch together mainly. We've always been fairly open with each other about it though, so I guess I've never felt he's sneaking around keeping secrets.

BumDNC Tue 24-Jan-17 17:38:05

I do not know if my BF watches porn. We discussed it once and I gave him the opportunity to say he did but he didn't say directly whether he did or did not but it sounded like he does not, right now anyway or isn't sure how I would react to it. We are fairly new relationship so lots to find out.... He is very respectful of women generally, so I feel trusting he wouldn't watch anything absolutely disgusting but I wouldn't bin him off for watching some light mainstream porn. I have in the past. The deal breaker for me is the type of content and the amount of usage, not the porn itself. I have been with someone who watched it constantly and the hardcore stuff and it did make me feel like shit.
But it's ok to have a boundary - it's yours. If you don't like it you don't like it but you ought to try find that out sooner rather than 5 kids in 15 years later then expect someone to change iyswim?

user1479305498 Tue 24-Jan-17 17:51:05

I divorced someone partly because of it. It wasnt the idea that he might watch a bit if I wasnt there, it was that he got really insistent we used it as part of sex life and insisted "everyone" does it. Personally i dont have an issue in total moderation but would rather someone did this in a non obvious way.

Squeezed Tue 24-Jan-17 17:56:45

I find it strange if you don't like porn but would you be ok with him watching it as long as you don't know about it. DH has always been open about his porn use, all rather tame really. It's not something I'm interested in. I would rather have open discussions about it rather than it being hidden. For other people they would not want their DH watching it and it's a deal breaker. Depends on the people involved.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners Tue 24-Jan-17 17:59:35

DH and I watch together sometimes. He doesn't watch it on his own on the Internet (he's a luddite) but it wouldn't bother me if he did. However if it was a regular thing and started to affect my sex life I would probably have a different view.

joannegrady90 Tue 24-Jan-17 18:01:41

I have always enjoyed watching some porn, DP a lot less often. I would be a hypocrite if I told him to stop 😂.

Agree with pp it depends on people's preferences and morals, I did once end a previous relationship as the person was viewing stuff not to my taste, legal but only just confused

mrsaxlerose Wed 25-Jan-17 15:59:30

im with happybunny19. never had a problem with it. he watches in private and we watch together sometime. I also watch it when alone (he works away) and need inspiration . I find that it helps us have ideas for new stuff to try in the bedroom. When your in a long term relationship it always helps to keep things fresh

LellyMcKelly Wed 25-Jan-17 16:22:42

I have no problem with it. I sometimes treat myself by watching it in bed with a rabbit ;)

Thephoneywar Wed 25-Jan-17 17:47:15

I am ok with Porn. We watch it together sometimes if we are in the mood.

StiffenedPleat Wed 25-Jan-17 18:45:40

I think it's horrible. Think of our daughters.

BigFatWhooo Wed 25-Jan-17 18:51:07

I don't especially like it. My dh says he always found it embarrassing - I'm not really sure exactly what he means but I've quizzed him on his use of it and he says he's not that into it and that he hasn't looked at it since we got together. I wouldn't mind him watching it (obviously not hardcore or illegal stuff that would be a deal breaker) but I would be upset if he lied to me about it.

Ineedmorelemonpledge Wed 25-Jan-17 18:52:55

The thing with porn is it comes with millions of categories. Some soft, some extreme.

I think it really depends what partners are watching.

DP and I enjoy watching amateur stuff together, that real couples have uploaded. He watches that stuff alone and I don't have a problem either, I also do. We are open and honest about what we do.

The extreme or degrading stuff I wouldn't be comfortable with. Hiding things, any things, I wouldn't be comfortable with.

Thephoneywar Wed 25-Jan-17 19:14:22

Men are in porn too. confused

pocketsaviour Wed 25-Jan-17 19:25:25

We like watching and making porn together.

There are obviously kinks we don't have in common, so we watch those when we're flying solo.

TokenGinger Wed 25-Jan-17 19:55:20

It doesn't phase me in the slightest. I watch porn alone and with a partner. I know that doing so is only a means to an end for me, and so I don't feel threatened if a partner does it, as it's likely the same for them.

Icancoco Wed 25-Jan-17 20:52:54

The thing about porn is that you can never be 100% sure that it is totally consensual. The amateur stuff that is on the net, did the woman agree to that? Was she aware that the footage would be posted on the net? Was it even amateur in the first place? Some of it is no doubt legit but how can you tell which is which. I would hate to think that I was watching a couple where the man has got the woman to agree to filming their sex but she isn't aware of how it will be used and for me that's why it's not something I am a huge fan of.

IsabellaTrout Wed 25-Jan-17 21:01:57

Pornography destroyed my last relationship, or rather, my OH's addiction to it did.

I would probably find it acceptable for a future partner to watch it if I was away for the weekend, or unavailable for any reason.

If I am lying upstairs and they consciously choose to watch pornography over having sex with me then there would be massive problems. I think when pornography begins to effect the intimacy of a relationship then it is disrespectful and not something I would stand for. Your partner should be dedicating 100% of their desire and attention towards you, not pixels on a computer screen.

Thephoneywar Wed 25-Jan-17 21:49:55

Isabella, I think asking a partner to dedicate 100% of their desire towards you is not realistic. Is your partner allowed to have fantasies and to find other people attractive or have sexual desire that does not revolve around you?

I've been with my partner now for over 15 years and I couldn't imagine only having desire for him, and only him, forever.

IsabellaTrout Wed 25-Jan-17 22:34:55

Perhaps I should rephrase what I said in my PP.

Is it acceptable to 'desire' or have fantasies about other people other than your partner? Yes, as long as it doesn't extend past the mind. Most of us will go out with the girls and giggle about how attractive a male celebrity is, for example.

It is acceptable for my partner to be masturbating himself to pornography whilst I am asleep in bed? Not in any relationship I want to be in.

Everyone has their own standards and feelings towards pornography, I can only speak from my own personal experiences.

Patriciathestripper1 Wed 25-Jan-17 22:42:30

Dodnt bother me one bit of my Dh watches porn
I watch it to from time to time.
We rarely watch it together because we are too busy doing it blush

BumDNC Wed 25-Jan-17 23:14:10

I agree I wouldn't like it if wanking to porn was chosen over sex with me if I was in bed. If I said I wasn't in the mood, different story

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