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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Would this bother you?

35 replies

weluvu · 24/02/2007 23:58

We've just come back from a meal at a mexican resteraunt well known for its extortionate prices.

It was DP's idea to go so I assumed he could afford it.

Anyway we got there and was told there was 1 hours wait for the table, we were directed to the bar and asked to wait there. Whilst at the bar a waiter brought over 2 menu's for us to look at.

After seeing the prices I said we should maybe not get too much... so DP stood up, dug into his pockets and got out a few notes and announced after counting "well I have £25..." he then went back into his pockets to see how much he had in change.

Maybe I'm a bit anal about these things but I was mortified, IMO he'd made it blatently obvious to everyone around us that we couldn't really afford to be there.

After "discussing" it with him afterwards he said I need to "chill", so would this bother you or am I being OTT about it?

OP posts:

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themildmanneredjanitor · 24/02/2007 23:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HuwEdwards · 25/02/2007 00:00

no, I'd be mortified too.

TinyGang · 25/02/2007 00:00

Did you eat there after all then?

fireflyfairy2 · 25/02/2007 00:01

It would bother me too. But then I would have hated to have ate there & not had enough. He could have went to the loo & discreetly checked his pocket?

I remember someone else on here one time had something similar!

weluvu · 25/02/2007 00:01

I didnt do anything at the time, just turned away and pretended I wasnt listening.
He said as he works in "sales" he see's that kind of thing all the time and its nothing to be ashamed about, I said its degrading and childish pulling money out like that, surely you count what you have before you get there?? My grandad would've hit the roof if someone had shown such low self pride whilst with him.

OP posts:

bandstand · 25/02/2007 00:02

is this a new dp?
did you eat there anyway?

bluejelly · 25/02/2007 00:02

It wouldn't bother me

bluejelly · 25/02/2007 00:03

Who gives a toss what other people think. They would presume you havent had a chance to get to the bank that day

weluvu · 25/02/2007 00:05

We did eat there in the end but only after DP tried to get us to leave by saying "you know, it is more expensive than I thought...we could leave and they wouldn't mind, we could go home and get a take-away and watch tv instead if you want?"

OP posts:

bluejelly · 25/02/2007 00:17

Doesn't sound like a great date! Have you been together long?

themoon66 · 25/02/2007 00:26

If it's well know for high prices, then why DP take you there and then get all drama queen about the price?? Odd. I would be tempted to think he was out to make a show of you.

auntymandy · 25/02/2007 00:28

did he expect you to pay?

Saturn74 · 25/02/2007 00:29

was he thinking you would pay, or go halves?
which is fine if you knew in advance, but a bit cheeky as you clearly didn't.

Caligula · 25/02/2007 01:32

Yes it would really piss me off.

Not because of what other people thought (who cares?) but because it is so irredeemably naff. It just is. It is an unnecessarily ostentatious comment on how expensive the restaurant is. It is basically him saying he doesn't really feel comfortable there, and making you feel uncomfortable to be there, so why the bloody hell suggest you go there in the first place?

Mainly, it makes you feel uncomfortable. Something a good date doesn't do.

I would want to throw my margarita at him. (I feel strongly about this. )

Spannapiana · 25/02/2007 04:34

whoooooaaaaaaaa hang on mama!

Give the guy some slack...at least you went out for posh nosh!!

If he dips and dodges, then you do too!

Hope you had the strength....xx

doormat · 25/02/2007 07:07

sounds like you nagged him into doing this tbh

lazyline · 25/02/2007 07:51

Why would you assume that he would pay? Maybe he assumed that because you agreed to go that you would be happy to pay half?

Why do you care if other people know how much money you have/haven't got?

NotQuiteCockney · 25/02/2007 08:14

Meh, I don't think I'd be thrilled, but better to check his pockets then, then when the bill came.

belgo · 25/02/2007 08:20

It just sounds like he made an error of judgement, he didn't realise what an expensive restaurant it was.

A similar thing happened to me last week. I ordered a birthday cake for dd1 for 20 people and nearly fainted when they told me the price (50 euros! that's 30 pounds! on a cake! not even with any fancy icing!)

I quickly retracted and made the order for 15 people.(It should still be big enough)

Next birthday, I am going to learn how to bake a cake

DimpledThighs · 25/02/2007 08:31

wouldn't bother me but it obviuosly did bother you so was insensitive of your dp.

FloatingInSpace · 25/02/2007 08:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

april74 · 25/02/2007 08:54

Wouldn't bother me either, infact when I went out for one of my first dates with dh, he tried to get money out of this cash point and his card had gone past the expiry date, we had gone out for a long drive to this resturant and both had to scratch around our pennies to afford the cheapest meal to drink with water. It must have looked funny with us counting out money on the table, but we still laugh about it, and probably that night I realised how much I loved him.

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misdee · 25/02/2007 08:58

is this for real?

DrumMum · 25/02/2007 09:03

didn't he have his credit card on him?
do many people pay with cash when they go out for a meal nowdays?

misdee · 25/02/2007 09:03

i like to pay cash as i find its easier to leave a tip.

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