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Is Husband being unreasonable??

(9 Posts)
michelle2005dolphin Tue 24-Jan-17 12:49:15

Hi All

This morning, my other half came downstairs in a foul mood.

So at 6am my 3 year old got in bed with me, and the alarm went off an hour later, my phone wasnt working, so I was talking myself through fixing it, it was now 7.10, i forget the phone for now and go and get dressed and kids up and ready for school and nursery.

Other half comes down at 7.30, whilst we eat breakfast, making packed lunches and so on, comes down and says i was horrible for waking him up in such a fashion, he's a IT guy so used to hearing "it isn't working" bla bla. I said you were meant to be up anyway, it's 7.10am not 2am, he then escalates it, into a huge row, he ends up calling me a stupid woman under his breath, I hear him and i take him to task about it, rather than apologise straightaway, he then tells me "stop talking" and i hit the roof. He's disrespected me in front of the kids and now he's denying me any response. It quickly escalates in a full blown shouting match.

I then take the kids to school, he goes to work, i felt very upset i cried in the car before coming home.

I then get a text, not apologising, but actually defending his position, that he's been rudely awakened by me, even though it was already getting up time and I'd been awake with the 3 year old anyway! Many texts later, he still doesn't get how he's being so unreasonable, he even uses past arguments to verify how much i was in the wrong, he cannot see how calling me stupid and then attempting to silence me, in response to such a stupid situation is so wrong.

I feel like I'm the one in the wrong now, but isn't that part and parcel of adult life, we can't always be woken up nicely! I never am!!! A massive part of me resents him and think he's behaving pretty immaturely.

Help Please??

TheNaze73 Tue 24-Jan-17 13:09:12

Although your reaction to the situation sounds like you were throwing petrol onto the fire & in no way helpful, he is being an utter twat.

Bluntness100 Tue 24-Jan-17 13:13:09

What do you mean you were talking yourself through fixing it? Do you mean he as sleeping there and you were talking out loud to yourself through fixing uour phone? Or were sitting silently trying to fix it?

If it's the former, yeah, you were being inconsiderate, and he's got pissed off, so far, both as bad as each other, with you the instigator here.

If however you were sitting silently, then he is being unreasonable.

SheldonsSpot Tue 24-Jan-17 13:19:22

You sound as bad as each other and what a lovely start to the day for your children - witnessing the two of you having a shouting match, poor kids.

QuarterMileAtATime Tue 24-Jan-17 13:28:55

Sounds like he was looking for a fight tbh.

MsGameandWatch Tue 24-Jan-17 13:31:50

I'd be pretty pissed off if I was trying to enjoy my final five minute snooze and there was someone sat next to me wittering away to themselves tbh.

WannaBe Tue 24-Jan-17 13:41:19

Can someone enlighten me as to wtf people seem to need to recount their petty arguments on MN so as to try and point-score? confused.

Obviously not talking about ongoing situations where there is serious abuse etc involved, but really, this sounds petty and childish on all sides but talk of "disrespect" etc is hysterical and OTT.

user1481030284 Tue 24-Jan-17 13:49:24

most of the times people who were disturbed by their sleeps really get easily upset and really at the bad mood. saying sorry to our partner is not a big deal but one way to lessen the anger we have inside.

gandalf456 Tue 24-Jan-17 13:49:59

I would hate to be woken up but, as you say, he should be up anyway, as you were taking care of the 3 yr old. He's being an utter that for keeping it going. I might snap if rudely awakened but couldn't be angry all day about it

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