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Anyone else feel just a little bit lost after becoming a parent?

(5 Posts)
ahroo Tue 24-Jan-17 12:03:26

Or is it just me?
I feel so bad feeling like this and I desperately do not want to feel like this anymore. I love my children dearly of course and I have always wanted them, but oh I am still grieving for my old life - after three years of being a parent!!
On bad days I feel like I wish I could just have a lobotomy so I don't have to feel. I miss my freedom and being in London and not getting all angsty about where best to live for schools.
When I first became a mum I felt the responsibility was overwhelming but that has passed now thank goodness and I don't fret so much but that feeling of wondering if I'll ever have a life like I knew still remains.
I feel so shallow but I pine for being able to get a bit dressed up and go wandering down some lovely bit of London, or going for a coffee in a buzzy cafe with my husband.
I think it's made worse for me that we moved out of London and I have never felt settled where we are and have not found kindred spirits here. My husband does long long hours and we have no family near. We are thinking of moving but I am also finding that fairly overwhelming too as I just wonder if I'll feel like I do anywhere!!
Feeling quite bad at the moment but I do often have many periods where I'm fine. I love being a mum but I just feel completely lost now. My career has died a death and I don't know what direction to take for the best. Anyone else struggle a bit with how selfless you have to be as a mother, or feeling lost or whatever? How have you dealt with it or made it better?! I am trying to do some mindfulness and positive affirmations and being grateful for three small things each day but I often feel engulfed by a bit o a terror that I will always feel a little bit less than I was.

MrsGB2015 Tue 24-Jan-17 12:13:23

I think everyone misses the child free days a bit. It's the pure freedom and ability to switch off that I miss. Stuff like how Friday after work drinks in the city can turn into an all night session, but it doesn't matter because you've got the weekend off. Or buying a coat just because it looks good and not because it's waterproof and has a hood. Just being seen as a person rather than a mum really!! Oh and I massively miss my pre baby body.
But as I type this my toddler has just jumped on me for a big cuddle so I do love moments like this.

Nottalotta Tue 24-Jan-17 12:13:44

I know how you feel. Do you work? I went back to work part time when ds was 9 months. Everyone went on about how hard it must be. It wasn't hard. It was great. I got a bit of 'me' back. I got to wander round town on my lunch hour. Without a baby. Eat lunch, go for a wee, sit at my desk, talk to adults.

I've just started mat leave for Dc2 so expecting to lose myself again soon.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 24-Jan-17 12:16:09

I feel exactly the same way, hence why I work full time!

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Tue 24-Jan-17 12:17:20

I had DC3 in December and I am back at work now, DP is taking my mate leave until September, then DC3 will join DD2 at nursery. (DD1 is much older and in school)

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